Creationist Wisdom #698: Oklahoma Preacher

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Republic of Mitchell, South Dakota. Their headline is Evolution is a religion, not science, and the newspaper has no comments section.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we have a preacher — Pastor Larry Parvin of the Elk City Main Street Baptist Church. We’ll refer to him as the rev. His church has no website, but it’s described here. That’s nowhere near Mitchell, South Dakota, but the Daily Republic published the rev’s letter anyway. We’ll give you some excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

I must speak out about a disturbing lie I saw being propagated in Sioux Falls, and around the world for that matter. I was sent a picture of a billboard in Sioux Falls that says, “Evolution is a fact, only witch doctors believe the earth is only six thousand years old.”

We assumed there must be something in the news, somewhere, about such a billboard, but all we found is another letter from the rev on the same subject. We’re confident that a good man like the rev wouldn’t make up a story like that, so we’ll take his word for it. Then he says:

Not only is this a lie, it is an insult to a nation that was founded on a Biblical Christian foundation.

[*Groan*] We see that claim all the time, which is why we wrote Is America a “Christian Nation”? Let’s read on:

I would like to give you a couple of quotes from some of their own.

Oh, goodie — here comes the quote-mining:

“Evolution is a fairy tale for grownups. This theory has helped nothing in the progress of science. It is useless.” — Professor Louis Bounoure.

TalkOrigins mentions that “quote” here. Guess what? Bounoure never said it. Here’s another quote from the rev:

“Evolution is unproved and unprovable. We believe it only because the only alternative is special creation, and that is unthinkable.” — Sir Arthur Keith wrote the foreword to the 100th edition of Darwin’s book, “Origin of the Species,” in 1959.

TalkOrigins discusses that too, right here, but you’ll have to search on Arthur Keith’s name or scroll way down to Quote #81. The “quote” is imaginary. Keith did, however, write an introduction to an edition of Darwin’s book — but it was “30 years before any centennial edition would have been printed.” He died in 1955, so he couldn’t have written anything for the 1959 edition.

Those are the rev’s only quotes. Are you impressed, dear reader? After that he declares:

Evolution is not science, it is a religion. The earth itself proves the Biblical flood taught to us in the Bible, from the fossil record to the Grand Canyon. The only way they can explain it is with a long period of time. They know this is not true, they just cling to the lie of billions of years because they do not want to acknowledge that there is a creator God and they will one day answer to Him.

After a couple of bible quotes, the letter ends with this:

If this belief I just described is from a witch doctor I believe I will cling to this truth because it makes way more sense than Evolution.

Well, dear reader, your Curmudgeon wouldn’t call the rev a witch doctor, but whatever he is, we thank him for his letter. It’s a great addition to our collection.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #698: Oklahoma Preacher

  1. What’s boggling is that Pastor Larry Parvin, if he has interest in the creationism/evolution “debate,” must have been told time and time again that his two chosen quotes are bogus, yet he opts to repeat them in hopes of planting the false information in the minds of his readers. Lying for Jeebus, anyone?

  2. Here is the story about the billboards.

  3. I find it interesting that these people who know nothing about science feel qualified to make deprecating statements concerning well established theories in science but they object violently when we, as disbelievers, attempt to show that they are in error in their beliefs.

  4. Eric Lipps

    Why should we expect them to know anything about science when they don’t even know basic facts about American history?

    They mine colonial history for evidence that America was founded as a “Christian nation,” but the Constitution makes clear that the United States we know was not so established. But hey, the Bible says America was established as a Christian republic. (Think I’m kidding? Fundamentalists find all sorts of things allegedly encrypted in the Scriptures; read Michael Drosnin’s The Bible Code, whose claims are critiqued here. Get it out of the library; don’t enrich this wacko by actually buying it.)

  5. They know this is not true, they just cling to the lie of billions of years because they do not want to acknowledge that there is a creator God and they will one day answer to Him.

    We see this absurd claim all the time.

    Most scientists are sane, intelligent, logical thinkers. Just like Pastor Parvin, they probably have an aversion to being tortured for eternity. So why, if they “know this to be true” and they will “one day answer to Him” would they intentionally decide to endure torture for all eternity, just to make a claim about the history of the earth that they don’t actually believe? What part of that makes any sense at all?

    Never mind that there are huge numbers of Christians – probably the majority everywhere outside of the U.S. – who accept evolution. Does Pastor Parvin believe they are all going to hell too?

  6. Undoubtedly, in Rev. Parvin’s little world, all true Christians believe in creationism — otherwise they wouldn’t be Christians.

  7. RetiredSciGuy

    If believing in Genesis were so important, why doesn’t the New Testament focus on all of Jesus’s Sermons on various Mounds beseeching His followers to build Creation Museums and replica Arks so that the masses could find True Christianity?

    Or more to the point, why was Jesus silent on the matter of Origins?

  8. The Sermon on the Mound was a speech given by Margaret Thatcher.

    The Sermon on the Mount was given by Jesus.

    Jesus was silent on the subject of the origins of species. As Genesis, and all of the Bible were silent. And Christianity was silent, until the concept of biological species developed in modernity.

  9. I could deliver a laudatory sermon on the Mound, and then praise the Almond Joy even higher. Both brands set a high bar.