As in the Days of Noah

Creationists are always telling us that the great Flood was justified because in the days of Noah, all the world was wicked — except, of course, for Noah and his family. Today we have a reminder of those evil times.

At the website of Fox News we find: Woman caught having sex with model dinosaur at playground identified. (That link isn’t working at the moment. We can’t imagine why.)

Let the full horror of that headline sink in, dear reader. Okay? Are you ready to proceed? Very well then. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Cops investigating shocking images of a woman performing a sex act on a dinosaur model at a kids park have identified a suspect.

The mind boggles. Verily, we are in the final days! Then we’re told:

The explicit image – described as an “all time low” – shows the woman naked from the waist down straddling the T-Rex model in Exmouth, United Kingdom last week.

That’s how things were, back when humans and dinosaurs roamed the world together. No wonder it was destroyed by the Flood. Back to the news:

Sergeant Richard Stonecliffe, from Exmouth Police, said: “We are still continuing our investigations and we have now identified the woman in the photographs who we will be speaking to.” Officers are yet to charge anyone related to the horrific images.

Here’s an interesting detail:

East Devon District Council have deep cleaned the dinosaur statue with “strong disinfectant”.

We fear the stain will never wash away. Let’s read on:

A spokesperson for the authority told the Express and Echo: “We are shocked and dismayed at this appalling act of gross indecency to one of the dinosaur models in the dinosaur trail organised and installed by Exmouth Town Council in collaboration with Exmouth Town Team & Tourism Forum and ourselves.

Here’s a link to the story in the Express and Echo: Exmouth dinosaur sex act woman identified by police. They have photographs. Warning: Not safe for work!

There’s more to the story, but your Curmudgeon cannot go on. We urge you, dear reader, not to search the internet for more explicit photos. But if you disregard our advice, don’t try to post them, or link to them, in our comments section.

Instead, use the comments section for an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. We haven’t had one for a while, and this seems the perfect time. You know the rules. Go for it!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “As in the Days of Noah

  1. Wait… what? I… I can’t… no. *wanders off to find some brain bleach*

  2. I suspect the dinosaur is going to be saddled with a new nickname, “Colonel Angus”.
    Since the woman wasn’t caught red handed, maybe she can use the “Photoshop defense”

  3. siluriantrilobite

    I want to pay her way to visit the Ark Park or Creation Museum. Perhaps we could send her to Glen Rose, TX for an extended tour of the States.

    Sent from my iPad

  4. siluriantrilobite

    The article says it was a Tyrannosaurus model, but I suspect it was really a Lickalatapus.

    Sent from my iPad

    [*Voice from above*] Let’s not get carried away.

  5. They had me at “straddling a T-Rex.”

  6. michaelfugate

    Somehow I am betting that young tyrannosaurs had lots of teeth and if this were going on before the flood, a flood would not have been needed.

  7. This is why the dino models at the ark park are in cages.

  8. Only sexually repressed ahole religious people would really give a schite about this affair. Although it could be considered rape as the T.Rex did not voice consent!!!

  9. Tyrannosaurus sex?

  10. the T.Rex did not voice consent!!!

    Difficult under the circumstances.

  11. Charles Deetz ;)

    Now we’ve got to wonder why Hambo built the Creation Museum … a little privacy?

  12. There must have been something very special about that particular T. Rex’s shape or texture. Some enterprising sex toy manufacturer is most likely developing a copy at this very moment. It will need a catchy marketing phrase, though. Any ideas?

  13. Could I emphasize that, as someone who lived for many years in Exeter, just up the road from Exmouth, I really do not recognize the guilty party. Either guilty party. Honest.

  14. deep trachea

    Didn’t have any dinos in Exmouth when we used to drive down from Exeter at weekends for a day at the sea, when I was a lad!!

  15. I knew that Brexit would set this country back–but I hadn’t anticipated by this much.

    No one expected REX-SIT…

  16. @deep trachea

    Didn’t have any dinos in Exmouth when we used to drive down from Exeter at weekends for a day at the sea, when I was a lad!!

    Well, there were a few staying in those grim-faced beachfront hotels . . .

  17. If the evil people in Noah’s time tried to have sex with a T-rex, there would have been no need to kill them with rain. Absolutely none.

  18. Rades here:

    A mysterious message appeared in our mission control room on the big screen:

    “PH is a Poopy Head”

    Curious, huh

    BTW, I lost your ph no. when my phone died. Send me an email. 🙂

  19. Forget “straddling.” Just imagine a naked woman driving a Roman-style chariot (with rough stone wheels, of course–Flintstones, meet the Flintstones!) being pulled by a hungry tyrannosaur chasing a sinner down the road.