This is a fine bedtime story to tell if you want your child to grow up to be ignorant and demented. It comes to us from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. His article is Where Did the Rattlesnake’s Rattle Come From? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:
A recent article about new research on the rattlesnake’s formidable rattle states, “The evolution of the rattle has baffled scientists because, unlike other complex physical traits like eyes or feathers, it has no obvious precursor or intermediate stage.” According to David Pfennig at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, “There is no half-rattle.”
Hambo is referring to this article in New Scientist: Rattlesnakes silently shook their tails before evolving rattles. Then he says:
Well, to those who start with the Bible, it’s no surprise that no such thing as a “half-rattle” exists. But for an evolutionist this is a major puzzle.
[*Sigh*] How could there ever be a half rattle? Either a thing rattles or it doesn’t. More on this later. Meanwhile, Hambo tells us:
Now evolutionists have suggested perhaps snakes started shaking their tails to warn predators, and eventually the noise-making rattle “evolved . . . as a more effective signal that took advantage of the pre-existing behavior.” But “how exactly the rattlesnakes then got their noisemaker is a more difficult question.” The article suggests two different ways:
You can read the two suggested possibilities if you like. Hambo isn’t impressed, and he explains why:
But where the snake got its rattle isn’t actually a difficult question needing such an imaginative answer. It’s only a difficult question if you reject the true history recorded in God’s Word in favor of man’s ideas about the past. Observational science demonstrates that nearly 40 rattlesnake species probably belonged to one original created kind. There are no “half-rattles” because God uniquely designed this kind with a rattle.
Yes — that makes it easy to understand. There’s no need to do any thinking at all! Then he tosses in some Adam & Eve to make it even better:
The rattle would be something we now call a defense structure, but it wouldn’t have been necessary as such before the Fall. Though a rattlesnake’s toxic venom wouldn’t have existed before the Fall, the rattle would become a merciful warning to the fangs behind it in a post-Fall world.
Now he circles back to that “half rattle” issue:
By the way, where is there “half-anything” in living things today? If molecules-to-man evolution is true, why don’t we see “half-lots-of-things” all over the world? That’s because evolution is simply not true — it’s a fairy tale, an attempt to explain life without God.
He’s right, you know. Where are the fossils of animals with half an eyeball, or half a heart? There are none! Evolution is for fools! Hambo wraps it all up nicely at the end:
When we start with God’s Word, we don’t need to invent fanciful stories about what might have happened in the unobserved past. His Word provides us with the true history of the universe.
Okay, now tell this story to your kids tonight. They’ll probably look at you like you’re crazed. If they do, you’ll have to beat them until they accept The Truth™. It’s the only way to save them from a life of evolutionism, which leads to the Lake of Fire.
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