Another Journey into the Drool Zone

[30-second sound clip] You are about to leave reality and travel into another dimension — a dimension that exists beyond the laws of nature, unknowable by evidence and reason — a wondrous land of Oogity Boogity! There’s a signpost up ahead: Next stop — The Drool Zone.

The article we’re going to discuss is Did All Races Really Come From Adam, Eve and Noah? It appears at the website Christian Today, which has no comments section.

They describe themselves as “an independent Christian media company,” located in London. They’re hard-core creationists according to their Basis of Faith, which says: “We believe in: (3) The divine inspiration and supreme authority of the Old and New Testament Scriptures, which are the written Word of God – fully trustworthy for faith and conduct.”

Before we proceed, we must warn you, dear reader. Once you enter The Drool Zone, there’s no going back. Are you still with us? Very well then, you’ve made your decision. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

It’s hard to imagine that all ethnicities, races and peoples could come out of two people, whether they were Adam and Eve or Noah and his wife. Creationist theories have tried for a long time to uncover the truth behind the origin of peoples. Did we really come from a small handful? Or did God use other means to populate the earth?

That’s a deeply muddled beginning. Whatever progeny Adam & Eve may have had were all destroyed in the Flood, leaving only Noah, his wife, and their three sons — plus their wives, whose names, races and ethnicities are unknown. So even a creationist must forget about Adam & Eve and begin his inquiry with the family of Noah. Anyway they say:

There are two general theories that are most popular nowadays. The first is the possibility that Adam and Eve were not the only people God created from the earth. It might be possible that He created other humans from scratch. If He did it once with so much ease, what’s to stop Him from doing it again? This could have happened anytime before or even after the flood when the world was back to being inhabited by only a chosen few.

We haven’t encountered that “theory” before. It’s true, of course, that God could have made anything happen, but the bible is strangely silent on the subject. After that they tell us:

The other theory is that it’s possible that all peoples came from one race. With the average life spans being several hundreds of years, people during pre-Abrahamic times had all the time to produce plenty of offsprings [sic]. The varying features of ethnicities are also something that could possibly have happened through natural or even supernatural changes.

We don’t understand how a limited number of ancient but still fertile breeding pairs were more likely to produce multiple races than any other scenario, but hey — that’s the theory. Oh, the theory also allows for the possibility of supernatural changes. Then they ask:

Did all races come from just a handful of people? There’s really just no way to know for sure — at least not in this lifetime.

Ah yes — all questions will be answered in the Great Beyond. The article continues:

But even in the uncertainty of that premise [What premise?], we can still be sure of these three things.

Pay attention, dear reader. Here are the three things of which we can be certain:

1. God Made All Things Happen: [Bible quotes omitted.] God is, at the end of the day, the origin of all life and all things on this earth and beyond it. There is nothing that did not originate from Him. While the means of propagation might be different, we can be sure that it happened by God’s hand.

Okay. Here’s the second certainty:

2. By Whatever Means, God Will Have His Way: Whether it’s by mutation, supernatural creation or natural procreation, God has His way with the forces and laws that govern the universe. It doesn’t matter how God does it. What matters is that He has done it for His own purpose. All things lead back to two things: God’s utmost honour and our most well-intentioned welfare.

And here’s the third certainty:

3. God Is Still Alive: The uncertainty of the origin of life does not establish the uncertainty of the existence of God. There is more than enough evidence to prove that God exists regardless of what sceptics may think. One thing we know for sure is that something cannot come out of nothing, and it was God who made something happen so that everything would be created.

Wouldja believe it? That’s the end of the article. But it’s not the end of your visit to the The Drool Zone. We warned you. Once you enter, there’s no way back. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

7 responses to “Another Journey into the Drool Zone

  1. There are two general theories that are most popular nowadays. The first is the possibility that Adam and Eve were not the only people God created from the earth. It might be possible that He created other humans from scratch. If He did it once with so much ease, what’s to stop Him from doing it again? This could have happened anytime before or even after the flood when the world was back to being inhabited by only a chosen few.

    Hoo boy. This ought to fire up the fanatics, all right! After all, isn’t it settled doctrine that the races were created from the offspring of Noah’s sons–except, of course, for whites, who were the race of Adam and eve?

    By Whatever Means, God Will Have His Way: Whether it’s by mutation, supernatural creation or natural procreation, God has His way with the forces and laws that govern the universe. It doesn’t matter how God does it. What matters is that He has done it for His own purpose. All things lead back to two things: God’s utmost honour and our most well-intentioned welfare

    Consider: if “it doesn’t matter how God does it,” who’s to say He didn’t do it through evolution?

    Get the rack and the stake ready, folks, we’ve got us some heretics to punish!

  2. It’s hard to imagine that all ethnicities, races and peoples could come out of two people, whether they were Adam and Eve or Noah and his wife.

    That’s the last sensible statement in this blog…

    Back here in the real world we have good explanations for the various racial traits, be it skin color or body form. [Hint: none of them deal with either Adam and Eve or Noah and his kin.]

    Some good information can be found in Stanley Garn’s Human Races. That’s an older text that is inexpensive on the web, but very good reading.

    There are a bunch of newer texts, but most are more expensive.

  3. Here we have confirmation that the Theory of Evolution is compatible with theism itself. If it doesn’t matter how God’s will be done, then evolution is as good a way for His will to be done as any.

    “Christian Today” admits that some of their beliefs are not quite evangelically orthodox, too. Even the point that SC quoted, while insisting on Biblical authority, does not insist on Biblical literality, and adds the important rider: “fully trustworthy for faith and conduct“, that is, by implication not necessarily an inerrant account of literal events.

    We can get along with people like this, then, right up to the point where they start insisting that there was a literal Adam, Eve, garden, talking snake and all that. If they are prepared to acknowledge that these can be read as allegory and wholesome mythos, good guides to conduct if read aright, and of estimable moral substance, but not actual history and never meant to be so, then they can accept evolution, and we have no cause for quarrel.

    Mind, they actually do say that they believe in “The divine inspiration and supreme authority of the Old and New Testament Scriptures, which are the written Word of God”. I think that anyone who can actually read what the texts say and believe that about them is not living in a reality I can recognise – but at least it does not involve direct denial of the Theory of Evolution, like Ham or Hovind or Comfort.

  4. I thought creascience had settled this issue long ago, when christians needed to justify slavery. The races are descendants from the sons of Noah, namely Sem, Cham and Jafet.

  5. “There is more than enough evidence to prove that God exists…”
    I assume they’re saving all of that “evidence” for a later post. The only evidence I’ve ever seen is indistinguishable from the evidence that proves unicorns exist.

  6. Very entertaining indeed. Christian Today says “With the average life spans being several hundreds of years, people during pre-Abrahamic times had all the time to produce plenty of offsprings [sic].” I is excited.

  7. At least the writers acknowledge the problem of how to populate the world in the short time frame available since the flood. Proposing that God did it by magic is an acknowledgement that it could not have happened naturally. Perhaps we shall soon hear from Ham on this subject.

    As far as races, and subspecies like Neanderthals, I thought these came about due to God’s intervention at Babel. I’m surprised that it is not settled theology.