Thanks to the ever-vigilant Drool-o-tron™, with its blaring sirens and flashing lights, we were compelled to notice the blinking letters of its wall display, which said WorldNetDaily (WND). As you know, WorldNetDaily (WND) is the flamingly creationist, absolutely execrable, moronic, and incurably crazed journalistic organ that believes in and enthusiastically promotes every conspiracy theory that ever existed. WND was an early winner of the Curmudgeon’s Buffoon Award, thus the jolly logo displayed above this post.
Our computer was locked onto WND’s latest article, Did aliens create and maintain the universe?. It has over 400 comments already. And look at WND’s subtitle: “Science gets closer to accepting a creation account with radical departure from Genesis.” Not only that, but the article is labeled WND EXCLUSIVE. This looks like one of the most exciting things we’ve ever encountered, so we’ll jump right in. WND says, with bold font added by us:
With the Big Bang theory under assault [Hee hee!], science and philosophy are fishing for new theories – seemingly anything but the Bible’s Genesis account.
Get ready for something different, dear reader. WND says:
The latest idea comes from a Columbia University astrophysicist who suggests the universe may have been created and maintained by non-human life forms that morphed into the physical world and remain the driving force behind quantum physics.
Aha — we always suspect there was something weird about quantum physics. WND tells us:
Professor Caleb Scharf is behind the radical theory that the universe is what remains of intelligent alien life that controls all aspects of the physical world – from gravity to the speed of light. In an article for the science journal Nautilus, Scharf wrote that alien life could exist in the behavior of subatomic particles and the expansion of the universe.
Caleb Scharf seems real enough. WND doesn’t bother to link to his article, but we found it: Is Physical Law an Alien Intelligence? Nautilus isn’t what might be considered a top-level science journal, but it has admirers. Wikipedia has a write-up on them. WND continues:
“Perhaps hyper-advanced life isn’t just external,” he [Scharf] said. “Perhaps it’s already all around. It is embedded in what we perceive to be physics itself. In other words, life might not just be in the equations. It might be the equations.”
Taking the theory a step further, Scharf said hyper-advanced aliens may have gone beyond turning themselves into machine creatures and gone as far as becoming a complex physical system. “If you’re a civilization that has learned how to encode living systems into different [materials], all you need to do is build a normal-matter-to-dark-matter data-transfer system: a dark matter 3D printer,” Scharf explained.
As we’ve always suspected, the aliens are lurking in dark matter. Here’s the end of WND’s article:
His theory centers around the idea that mankind has not detected “advanced life because it forms an integral and unsuspicious part of what we’ve considered to be the natural world.” However, others question whether there is any evidence to support the theory and whether it is just a way to explain existence apart from God.
There’s a whole lot of irony in that final sentence. By the way — Scharf’s article doesn’t mention God. It’s WND’s own notion that his proposal about aliens (odd though it may be) is his desperate way to find a secular explanation of the universe. Anyway, that’s the story. Make of it what you will, dear reader.
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