Rev. David Rives — Helium Disproves Evolution

Today started out slow, but suddenly the Drool-o-tron™ alerted us with its sirens and flashing lights. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND). The Drool-o-tron™ had found the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

Our computer was locked onto this headline at WND: Presence of helium: Does it disprove evolution?. The actual title of the rev’s video is “Too much helium.”

The rev begins by reminding us that evolution requires millions of years. But uranium and thorium decay and produce helium, which doesn’t stay long in rocks. However, some supposedly old rocks were found to contain lots of helium! The scientists don’t have any explanation. The presence of all that helium means those rocks are only 6,000 years old! That proves the bible is true, so you shouldn’t believe in evolution.

The rev seems unaware that helium is found in ancient rock formations — for example, see this at PhysOrg: Grand Canyon as old as the dinosaurs, suggests new study We suspect the rev got his information from this four-year-old article from Answers in Genesis: Helium in Radioactive Rocks. It’s mentioned in several other creation sites too.

The rev is still wearing the same gray bible-boy suit he’s been wearing for the last month, and still without a necktie. He probably sleeps in those clothes. Who cares? He’s the cutest rev you’ve ever seen! This video is a bit over two minutes long before the commercial at the end. Go ahead, click over to WND and watch it.

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

15 responses to “Rev. David Rives — Helium Disproves Evolution

  1. Despite Rev. Rives’ preaching, those godless satanic scientists continue to deny the TRVTH: DNA clue to how humans evolved big brains

  2. If this isn’t one for the IFFZ, I don’t know what is:

    Man loses most of his penis to flesh-eating superbug after routine operation

    More proof that one must avoid medical professionals, and all other ‘experts’ as well, just to be safe!

  3. Eek! I lost [garbled text] to a word-eating bug in above post! [Garbled text]

    Heal me, O Great Expert Hand of Correction!

    [*Voice from above*] I’ll see what I can do, but I donno …

  4. In that AiG site there is a mention of helium in the context of Noah’s Flood. Where does the Bible make any hint about helium?

  5. TomS, helium is, naturally, found trapped underground. Knowing the rate at which it’s generated and trapped, well, there’s just no way that the Earth could be 6000 years old.

    So, remember those old “waters of the deep?” Well, when they burst out, they also released a whole lot of helium with them, balancing the scales, so to speak, and explaining the amount of helium we find in the mantle.

  6. TomS, when we read about God beaming his voice from the heavens, we tend to imagine that as a deep, thundering bariton. Not so. Try to imagine it as a funny, Mickey-Mouse style soprano.

    That’s where the helium went.

  7. @dweller42
    You tell us that when the waters of the deep burst out, they also released a whole lot of helium with them.
    How do you know this? Where you there? Does the Bible mention helium?

  8. Doctor Stochastic

    Helium may not be mentioned in The Bible, but it plays a prominent role in A Princess of Mars. There’s also a nice Creation story in one of the books.

  9. Is the nice creation story the one in which Tur(?) personally creates every individual?

  10. It’d be funny to re-edit the video to make the Rev. sound like he was on Helium. Maybe they’d put the cute Rev. in the next “Alvin and the Chipmunks” movie.

  11. TomS. It ain’t my argument, sorry. I go to a church where a fair few of the people believe in creationism, so I get to hear these arguments.

    Personally, I think that a thing happened and then there was a universe, and more things happened and then there was a solar system, and more things happened and then there was life. Science offers the explanations by far for all of those things.

    I do also believe in God and that maybe somehow someway He was involved with the things that happened, but I neither demand nor anticipate proof of that.

  12. Kinda surprising, isn’t it, that the Reverend Rives hasn’t been offered a post in the Trump Administration.

    Yet.

  13. N.B. Helium is produced continously in the minerals by the radioactive decay of U-235, U-238, and thorium-232. So this argument is spurious and false. So reader beware. Rev. Rival does not know or understandeND geochemistry.
    Dr. Ken Wolgemuth – major in geochemistry.

  14. realthog | 8-December-2016 at 7:45 pm |
    Kinda surprising, isn’t it, that the Reverend Rives hasn’t been offered a post in the Trump Administration.
    Yet.

    Maybe he’ll replace Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education after the Tweeter in Chief tires of her.

  15. Maybe he’ll replace Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education after the Tweeter in Chief tires of her.

    Not that we should in any way criticize the Tweeter-and-P***y-Grabber-in-Chief. Damn, no! At least he’s not Hillary Clinton!