Although creationists deny science that contradicts what they read in the bible, they’re strangely inconsistent. Despite what the bible says — e.g.: The Earth Is Flat!, and The Earth Does Not Move!, and The Scriptural Value Of Pi Is 3 — they ignore those things, but deny the theory of evolution and cling to the recent creation of the Earth and the universe.
That’s certainly true of Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. The latest attempt from ol’ Hambo to bring order out of this epistemological chaos is titled Is the Bible a Science Textbook? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and Hambo’s bible references omitted:
I often have people tell me that “the Bible’s not a science textbook!” But the Bible is actually a textbook of historical science — and the only such textbook that is totally reliable and infallible.
Truly an inspirational beginning! Then he says:
Now, I’m glad the Bible’s not a textbook of science like those used in public schools, because it would change all the time. Many ideas have come and gone. For example, most of the evolutionary beliefs used by scientists in the transcript of the Scopes Trial have been abandoned — but God’s Word remains the same. It is the infallible Word of God — the true history book of the universe.
[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] The bible never changes! After that he tells us:
Secularists often accuse us of reading Genesis literally but not other portions of the Bible. We point out that we should read the Bible naturally. There is history (e.g., Genesis), poetry (e.g., Psalms), prophecy (e.g., Isaiah), and so on. Different genres of writing require different interpretative methods. Historical documents such as Genesis are not intended to be taken figuratively. [Bold font in Hambo’s text.]
Pay attention now, because Hambo presents secularists with a challenge:
My challenge to secularists is this: the evidence of creation is obvious, so “do not be unbelieving, but believing” [scripture reference] and “lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light”[scripture reference].
Yes — the evidence is obvious! Then he challenges the believers:
When you reject God’s Word in Genesis and interpret it through the lens of man’s fallible, opinionated word, more and more compromise is sure to follow. You see, when you start compromising in one area of the Bible, it isn’t long before compromise shows up in other areas. My challenge to all believers is this: believe all of God’s Word! [Bold fon’t in Hambo’s text.]
Thrilling, isn’t it? Hambo continues:
People are born and die, but “the word of our God stands forever” [scripture reference] — and no person can ever change that! Secularists can’t change this: “The entirety of Your word is truth, And every one of Your righteous judgments endures forever”[scripture reference]. Many people try to change God’s Word, particularly in Genesis, but “forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven” [scripture reference].
[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] What passion! What devotion! Your Curmudgeon is convinced! The Earth is flat. It doesn’t move. And pi = 3.
We’re trembling too much to go on, so we’re quitting now. It’s fortunate that the rest of Hambo’s post is just a commercial for his mind-boggling Creation Museum, and for Ark Encounter, his exact replica of Noah’s Ark.
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