Creative Challenge #35: The Discoveroids’ Top Ten

Each year at this time the Discovery Institute entertains us with a series of posts about their Top Ten stories for the year. Last year the Discoveroids began their pathetic list on 23 December. It’s what they call their “traditional recounting of our Top 10 evolution-related stories of the past year, as compiled in a rigorous, peer-reviewed, strictly scientific manner by Evolution News staff.”

We look forward to their list every year, because it’s so laughable. They have nothing to show for their legislative efforts. Other than Louisiana and Tennessee, their bizarre Academic Freedom bills have failed in every state that has considered them. They still have a number of drooling legislators who will continue trying to force creationism into the public schools, but further “successes” are likely to be few.

The same record of failure haunts their courtroom efforts and their attempts to penetrate the academic world (except for bible colleges where creationism has always been entrenched), and their “research” that allegedly supports their “theory” of intelligent design is never published in any respected, peer-reviewed science journal.

Despite all the books they write, the videos they produce, the noise they make on the internet, and the numerous conferences they conduct to promote their “theory” — mostly at churches, but sometimes at facilities they rent at universities — they’ve had no impact on science, industry, agriculture, medicine, academia, or any other rational endeavor. It’s fascinating to imagine how they’re scrambling around to find anything to brag about — other than their own writings and revival meetings.

That’s the background for our latest question. The form of today’s challenge is that you must tell us:

What will appear in the Discoveroids’ Top Ten list of stories?

You know the rules: A successful entry should be self-explanatory. You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.

There may not be a winner of this contest, but if there is, your Curmudgeon will decide, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

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11 responses to “Creative Challenge #35: The Discoveroids’ Top Ten

  1. I vote they recycle last year’s list. Who would notice or care? Or they can pick past winners from previous years. In fact, since they keep harping on same old, same old, even “this year’s stories” will most be rehashes of older stories. Tradition!

  2. michaelfugate

    Based on a piece in this week’s Nature, the DI will claim that “teach the controversy” laws are working.

    Despite official policies that limit climate-change education, a recent survey of 115 science teachers in Oklahoma showed that more than 80% teach climate change in state schools, either formally or informally (N. M. Colston and T. A. Ivey J. Educ. Policy 30, 773–795; 2015). Faced with few locally available teaching resources, most teachers write their own lesson plans. They also take advantage of ‘teach the controversy’ campaigns — intended by some to undermine the scientific consensus — to introduce students to locally controversial topics such as human-induced climate change, which otherwise might be seen as off limits. Consequently, more than two-thirds of these teachers say that they experience no pushback from students, parents or administrators (N. M. Colston and J. M. Vadjunec Geoforum 65, 255–265; 2015).

  3. It’s been a pretty slim year, typical year, actually, for the Tooters. No new books, no new ideas, no new “research” (Bwahahahahahahhaa!), no new nuttin’ .

    Well, they did cobble together a “conference” at a disused garden shed in Old Blighty. From what I read they all sat in a circle and did what Tooters do when they sit in a circle.

    I’m with Ted. They’ll recycle old stuff. After all, they are having a Behe Fest and a Coppedge Fest, so I guess if you have a “fest” for old news, maybe you can claim the “fest” is new – if you squint. Or if you apply a design filter. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

  4. As always I’m game however I’m pretty sure I’m in
    the woodshed around here.
    Discoveroids Top Ten Stories List
    #10 David Coppedge really IS a scientist
    #9 Westie Ain’t No Kin to No Monkey
    #8 Don McLeRoy, Crazy dentists can be fun
    #7 Understanding a magical, mystical world of supernatural events
    #6 The Best Tuesday Night Pot Luck Intelligent Design Mac and Cheese
    #5 Voter ID and Family Values, how the two are linked by science
    #4 Seattles Best $4 Lunch Plates
    #3 Green Screen Science and Why It’s Important
    #2 Rick Perry Backed Creationism in Texas. Watch Out Dept. of Energy!
    #1 And the #1 all in, Best Discoveroid Story of 2016.
    Best Discount Prices on AIG book store science texts.

  5. Mike Pence is Vice-President and President of the Senate. Trump has at least one and maybe soon two picks for the Supreme Court.

    Compared with that, the odd loss in State legislatures is neither here nor there.

  6. Holding The Line In Florida

    I am thinking that the #1 story will have to be the opening of the Bark uh doh! I mean Ark Park. Pure bred Intelligent Design there! The Much Storied Design Filter must rank chiefly among the exhibits. Oh wait, the Id-iots don’t push religion. Well excuuuuse me!

  7. I’m certain that Beyond Materialism will be on the list. I suppose that’s what docbill1351 refers to, even though I’m not certain whether it was a garden shed or just the yard.

    And sorry for poisoning the well, but if all of the presenters at such a ‘scientific’ conference have a religious background, it becomes difficult not to sense some confirmation bias.

  8. michaelfugate

    How in their minds intuition emerged as a rival to scientific methodology?

  9. I would have thought their #1 story will be the nomination of creationist Betsy DeVos to be i/c education.

  10. They’ll probably tout that computer simulation they’re working on that’s supposed to show how modern human genetic diversity could have arisen from just two Middle-eastern individuals a few thousand years ago.