The Ultimate Free Fire Zone

There’s no creationism news out there, but that won’t stop your Curmudgeon. Here are some items that — with a bit of creativity — can easily be material for The Controversy. Let’s see if you’ve got the talent to connect the dots:

1: From channel 4, the NBC affiliate in Washington, DC: Snake in a Toilet! Arlington Woman Makes Startling Discovery. One excerpt:

A Virginia woman called Animal Control last week after she found a snake in a toilet in an Arlington County apartment. To repeat: She. Found. A. Snake. In. A. Toilet. An animal control officer was able to safely remove the “lost and confused” snake and brought him to the Animal Welfare League of Arlington, the animal shelter said in a Facebook post Tuesday. The snake is a juvenile yellow anaconda, the animal shelter said. Yellow anacondas can grow to be 13 feet long and to weigh more than 100 pounds. The shelter has named him Sir Hiss.

2: From WSOC-TV in Charlotte, North Carolina: Pastor charged in connection with 9 armed robberies in Charlotte. One excerpt:

Charlotte-Mecklenburg police arrested a Charlotte pastor wanted in connection with nine armed robberies from Charlotte businesses. John Thomas Lindsey, 47, who is a pastor at True Love Church of Refuge on Nations Ford Road, was taken into custody Wednesday morning and charged with nine counts of robbery with a dangerous weapon, nine counts of conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon, and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

3: Most surprising of all, a new Jack Chick comic: No Justice? It’s not about creationism, but it’s got a whole lotta bible stuff.

We now declare this to be the first Intellectual Free Fire Zone of the new year. You wanna talk about Trump? Go ahead. We’re open for the discussion of pretty much anything — science, politics, economics, whatever — as long as it’s tasteful and interesting. Banter, babble, bicker, bluster, blubber, blather, blab, blurt, burble, boast — say what you will. But avoid flame-wars and beware of the profanity filters.

The comments are open, dear reader. Have at it.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “The Ultimate Free Fire Zone

  1. The Chick tract started out with so much promise, it could have been hilarious what with the anti-muslim bigotry and all, but it went down hill quickly, Although, I must say I’m impressed that he’s still publishing after his death.

  2. michaelfugate

    Speaking of snakes in your toilet, imagine being a child and getting this for hallowe’en with your candy!

  3. michaelfugate; if you don’t want a tract, you shouldn’t say trick or treat.

  4. No news? The Discoveroids just claimed that all forms of life disproves evolution because there are no rules or boundaries to what you can find if you go out and look. I find it interesting that they don’t seem to notice the peculiar way all life fits into a nested hierarchy. Well, all complex life anyway.

  5. Am I the only one to have formed the hypothesis that the Reverend David Rives is actually Tucker Carlson moonlighting in a Bible Boy suit? They both have the same fresh-facedness, the same insufferable smugness, and the same look in the eyes that tells you you’d be lucky to find much other than mahogany between the ears.

    Rives does seem to be a tad smarter than his alter ego, which rattles my confidence slightly, but that aside . . .

  6. michaelfugate

    FYI from Jack Chick’s site:

    Tract Myth 3 Shy people can’t witness
    With Chick tracts, nobody is too shy to witness. Many shy Christians have been amazed to learn that witnessing is as easy as leaving Chick tracts behind wherever they go.

  7. Here’s what I have to say to Jack Chick

  8. “Snake in a toilet”? What a perfect metaphor for Donald Trump in Washington.

  9. Has anyone mentioned “Clockwork Orange”?

  10. James Bolton Theuer

    realthog I think you may be a genius. Scripting by a producer possessing rudimentary literacy probably explains the observed discrepancy

  11. @James Bolton Theuer

    That’s it! The missing link! Rives’s videos have been intelligently designed . . .

    Thank you for this insight, which explains all.

  12. Funny, but Jack Chick’s intolerance has much more in common with the Islamic fundie he depicts than he does with mainstream religious groups.

  13. michaelfugate

    Check out this article on the ArkPark:

    Conversation between Andrew Snelling from AiG and article author Charles Wolford

    [Wolford] “There were dinosaurs on the Ark, right?”
    [Snelling] “Right.”
    [W ]”Then why aren’t there dinosaurs today?”
    [S] “Dinosaurs went extinct after they left the Ark. After the Flood, we had the Ice Age. We had a radically different world. Some creatures weren’t able to adapt. But most cultures in the world have some legend about dragons, and these dragons are actually a good description of dinosaurs. The Chinese, for example — their dragons are depicted on scrolls pulling the chariots of emperors. And there was a story called Beowulf in which the king slays a dragon, and this happened in Norway.”
    [W] “So you take Beowulf to be evidence of dinosaurs existing?”
    [S] “Yes, it was an eyewitness account.”

  14. They’re building a McDonald’s at the Vatican. Holy cow!

  15. Paul S.
    “Although, I must say I’m impressed that he’s [Jack Chick’s] still publishing after his death.”

    Since we decompose back to soil, would it be said that Jack Chick is publishing post-humusly?

    Ok, I’ll stop. I’ve reached my two-pun limit.