Ken Ham Explains America’s Problem

We are fortunate indeed, dear reader, because we’re going to learn about America’s Foundation Problem from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia.

As you know, ol’ Hambo is a creationist entrepeneur from Australia, famed not only for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), but also for the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, and for building an exact replica of Noah’s Ark. Verily, he is the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

We’re not surprised that with all his holiness and wisdom, Hambo is able to analyze America’s problems. Here are some excerpts from his insightful essay, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Many Christians in America look around the nation and bemoan the decline of Christian morality, the removal of God from public places, and the attack on religious freedom (particularly the freedom to exercise their faith, as guaranteed by the US Constitution). But these issues aren’t ultimately the problem. They are simply symptoms of the problem.

Egad — Christians have lost the freedom to exercise their faith — and we didn’t even notice it! Hambo says:

You see, America has a foundational problem. Increasingly, the worldview of this culture is built upon the ever-changing opinions of fallible man instead of God’s Word. Social issues like abortion, gay “marriage,” and euthanasia are symptoms of a much deeper problem — people building their worldview on man’s word. When people abandon the truth of the absolute authority of God’s Word, ever-changing moral relativism will permeate the culture. And that’s exactly what has happened here in America.

Yes — oh yes! — Hambo has identified our problem! We’ve been relying on the Constitution — the work of man, instead of the bible. He tells us:

As our culture continues to drift further from God’s Word, we will only see an increase in moral relativism, the division of families, loss of the sanctity of life, violence, homosexual behavior, and more.

He’s right! Those godless evolutionists are all violent gay divorced abortionists. Hambo continues:

Many people hope that the next president or Supreme Court will be able to fix these problems. But although engaging in politics is certainly important, a political solution won’t ultimately solve the woes of this world or this nation. Because it’s ultimately a spiritual problem, it needs a spiritual solution.

If Trump can’t solve those problems, then what’s to be done? Let’s read on:

Our culture needs to return to trusting in God’s Word and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

[*Curmudgeon swoons*] That’s the answer! Here’s one more excerpt:

We need people in this nation to please the Lord — instead of compromising God’s Word with fallible man’s ideas.

Give up your science, dear reader. Visit Hambo’s ark and buy all his books. It’s the only way to save America.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Ken Ham Explains America’s Problem

  1. I was laughing MFAO, just reading the title in my e-mail feed. Still laughing! Ham what an ignoramus.

  2. James Bolton Theuer

    External reality = man’s word.
    An ancient anthology of men’s words = Space Wizard knowledge of transcendent quality.

  3. Derek Freyberg

    Dear Ken – which God?

  4. Michael Fugate

    God is Love?
    Love one another?
    Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?
    How come Ken never brings those things up?

  5. So I wonder how Ham’s ark is doing, any updates on attendence?

  6. Funny that Ham should decry “moral relativism.” His book that he constantly wants us to embrace as the best and only source of moral good tells us that we should not suffer a witch to live. Our godly Puritan ancestors followed this rule, most notably in Salem. And yet Ham has let his morality adjust relative to our free society and refrains from killing witches. Why Ken? Are you a moral relativist as well?

  7. “Yes — oh yes! — Hambo has identified our problem! We’ve been relying on the Constitution — the work of man, instead of the bible.”

    But then, why should Ham from Australia know or care about our constitution? Trump’s right — we’re being overrun by immigrants! Build a wall! Keep all them Aussie creationist types out!

    “Many Christians in America look around the nation and bemoan the decline of Christian morality…”

    And yet, so many of them voted for that true pillar of Christian moral rectitude, Donald J. Trump. (Greek chorus: “Moral rectitude? More like horse’s rectum, Dude.)

  8. –and Raw Ham Explains Trichinosis…

  9. @RSG I agree. Hambo complaining about the U.S. being secular is a bit like a vegetarian sitting in a Burger King and complaining that they serve meat.

  10. Perhaps we should redesgnate the Bible as the Book of Alternative Facts

  11. Hambo’s got it made. He delivers Jetemiads from his critic-proof boat and stores up treasures in heaven and on Earth. Enviable.

  12. Wait, he just got an 18 million dollar tax break for building that 100% religious abomination in Williamstown, yet he’s still complaining about his lack of religious freedom?? That man truly has elephant sized marbles.

  13. @Paul Braterman: Ha! Very good, Sir!

    Perhaps Ham should hire KellyAnn Conway away from Trump. He could use his $18 MM tax break for the purpose.

  14. Pretty comical to be lectured about morality by fraudulent, multimillion-dollar grifter like Ken Ham!

  15. The Hamster does it again: We must obey God’s Word, by which he means the Bible, which is God’s Word because, well, lots of people believe it is and lots more have believed it in the past, Q.E.D.