Creationist Wisdom #744: Is this a ‘Poe’?

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Stawell Times News of Stawell, Victoria — that’s in southeast Australia. It’s titled Back to the Bible, and the newspaper has no comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Gordon. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

It is a crying shame that evolution is now taught in the schools. I have researched creation versus evolution for many years now and there is conclusive evidence that evolution is a myth.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Great start! Then he says:

The God of the Bible is the Creator of all the universe; that cannot be denied when you see the wonders of His creation like the animals, birds, sea creatures and insects and how perfectly they are created to survive and how they adapt so perfectly to their environments.

Uh huh. See Evolution: the Biosphere and the Shopping Mall. After that he tells us:

It is shocking that religious education has been taken out of the schools and children are taught the lies of evolution. Young people who are not taught the truth that comes from Jesus will only make wrong choices when they grow older. This is evident when you look at the huge crime rate and drug problems of today as compared to the 1920s, 1930s when creation was taught in the schools and there was a very low crime rate and no drug problems.

[*Groan*] Gordon continues:

There has to be a life after we leave this earth otherwise there would be no such thing as right or wrong.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let’s read on:

The theory of evolution and the big bang theory has to be a lie because God created every creature, tree and plant so perfectly. [Except for those that suffer extinction, etc.] With a big bang there would be no Creator to make creation so perfect and every living creature and plant would be haphazard, distorted, unable to function and unable to adapt to their very complex environments.

Gordon isn’t done yet. Here’s another excerpt:

How does evolution explain the stars and outer space for instance, where did they come from? They had to be created. Things don’t just appear from nothing.

Hey — good point! Darwin didn’t explain the stars. And now we come to the end:

The God of the Bible is the truth and God is the creator of all the beauty around us. I just wish and pray that teachers would stop teaching the lies of evolution to children.

Wow! That letter was amazing. As our title suggests, it reminds us of Poe’s Law, which is familiar to those who follow The Controversy between evolution and creationism. It states: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.” But this letter comes from Australia, birthplace of ol’ Hambo, the underside of the flat Earth. So Gordon may be serious.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #744: Is this a ‘Poe’?

  1. Ceteris Paribus

    Apparently poor Gordon has not noticed that worshiping the Bible is considered to be a sin. He really needs to go and look up “Bibliolatry” before writing more posts like the present one.

  2. Holding the Line in Florida

    Tough call, Poe or not Poe. I always tend to be generous till evidence decides one way or the other. So Poe it is! However, that line, “I just wish and pray that teachers would stop teaching the lies of evolution to children.” is a really telling! Still, Hambo and Creation Ministries crawled from the Primordial Ooze from that area. Maybe there is something in the water down under?

  3. @CP
    There is no concern about the long term consequences of one’s argument, as long as it supplies immediate gratification about not being related to monkeys.

  4. So the same issues apply to Victoria, Canada as well as in the U.S? Surely his simpleton letter was not just addressed to the U.S.

  5. The letter certainly contains the entire Poe-pourri of creationist talking points, but then so does everything coming out of Answers in Genesis.

    Conclusion — without knowing letter-writer Gordon personally it’s not possible to say Poe or no Poe.

  6. Poe or not I usually comment on what is there. In this case the writer is as seen here is a basic LIAR4jesus as he never really studied evilution.

  7. “Gordon” saith:

    It is shocking that religious education has been taken out of the schools and children are taught the lies of evolution. Young people who are not taught the truth that comes from Jesus will only make wrong choices when they grow older. This is evident when you look at the huge crime rate and drug problems of today as compared to the 1920s, 1930s when creation was taught in the schools and there was a very low crime rate and no drug problems.

    Snicker.

    Someone should have told the good people of 1920s Chicago about the low crime rate. And one might consider that drug use was common in this country in the 19th century, when marijuana, cocaine and heroin were all legal and cocaine was (briefly) an ingredient in Coca-Cola. Marijuana was only outlawed because cotton growers objected to the competition from hemp in the making of such commonplaces as rope.

  8. The Curmudgeon says ,”But this letter comes from Australia, birthplace of ol’ Hambo, the underside of the flat Earth. So Gordon may be serious.”
    I say, Backside of the flat earth apparently.

  9. Gordon is a Poe-man’s version of Miss Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian.

  10. This is evident when you look at the huge crime rate and drug problems of today as compared to the 1920s, 1930s when creation was taught in the schools and there was a very low crime rate and no drug problems.

    And back in the 1930s, when creationism was still taught in America’s schools, there were a lot more lynchings of innocent people by angry mobs!

    (Yes, Gordon. It’s so much fun to pretend that correlation and causation are the same thing.)

  11. Is there any information on crime rates and illegal drug problems over the 20th century in the USA? How about today, is there any comparison between the states that have strict science standards and problems with crime or drugs or teen pregnancy rate, etc.?
    It’s so much easier to assume correlation than to find out the data.

  12. Michael Fugate

    There was this little problem caused by Prohibition in the 20s…

  13. The Orchardist

    Interesting Gordon. I was “created” with Multiple Sclerosis. I have a question for you. Was MS given to me as a punishment for some unknown wrongdoing in my past or perhaps one of my ancestor’s? Or perhaps god messed up royally and made me imperfectly?

  14. An irrelevant observation. I just looked in Amazon, and found that the #1 best-selling book (I have no idea over what time period) is “1984”.