Of all the controversies in the world, this one may be the most trivial, but it’s of vital importance to Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia. He has just written We’re Keeping the Rainbow at the Ark Encounter. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:
During the Christmas season, we lit up the full-size Ark at our themed attraction, Ark Encounter, in rainbow lights for a beautiful display. Well, we’ve decided to enhance the rainbow lights and make them a permanent feature during evenings at the Ark, located south of Cincinnati. We will be working over the coming months to ensure this change is permanent. It’s all part of “taking the rainbow back.” [Hambo’s bold font.]
Now what do I mean by that? Well, in a blog post announcing the rainbow lights at the Ark, I wrote,
[Hambo quotes himself:] In recent times the rainbow (albeit with some different colors) has come to represent . . . freedom, love, pride, a new era, and, specifically, the LGBTQ movement. . . . But the rainbow itself wasn’t designed to be a symbol of freedom, love, pride, or the LGBTQ movement. [Hambo’s bold font.] God created this beautiful, colorful phenomenon and designated it as a sign of His covenant with Noah and his descendants forever.
Sadly, people ignore what God intended the rainbow to represent and proudly wave rainbow-colored flags in defiance of God’s command and design for marriage. Because of this, many Christians shy away from using the rainbow colors. But the rainbow was a symbol of God’s promises before the LGBTQ movement — and will continue to be after that movement has ended. As Christians, we need to take the rainbow back and teach our young people its true meaning.
Gasp — the rainbow was created by God! It’s God’s symbol. After that he tells us:
I’ve had people on social media claim that “the rainbow doesn’t belong to anyone.” Despite their insistence, they’re sure it’s not a symbol of God’s judgment and mercy and instead claim it symbolizes a spectrum of gender identities.
What follows is Hambo’s recital of the history of gays using the rainbow. We’ll skip that. Then he says:
So the rainbow colors have been a symbol of the gay community since the 1970s. But the rainbow has been a symbol of the judgment and mercy of the Creator for much, much longer than that — around 4,300 years longer! You see, after the global Flood of Noah’s day, God made a promise to Noah, his family, their descendants, and the animals.
Hambo provides a big bible quote to support that, after which he continues:
The rainbow reminds us that God judged sin with a global Flood, but that He promises never to judge again with a global Flood — the final judgment will be by fire. Whether they realize it or not (and likely, in our secular age, they do not), gay activists and the gay community are using God’s symbol of judgment and salvation as a celebration of their sinful behavior.
The fools! Let’s read on:
Now, we aren’t displaying the rainbow colors or “taking the rainbow back” because we hate gay people, like some people have accused us of. We desperately want lost people — people made in the image of God and deceived by a lie — to hear the truth that God judges sin but that He lovingly offers a free gift of salvation to all who will believe.
Hambo is so compassionate! He goes on and on, so we’ll give you just one more excerpt:
God is patiently withholding His judgment against sin because He isn’t willing that any should perish. But, eventually, a day is coming when He will judge all sin (not just sexual sin, but every sin), this time with fire. The rainbow should serve as a reminder of the reality of God’s past and coming judgment and also of His patience and mercy.
Yes, dear reader — the rainbow should remind you that the Lake of Fire is your eternal punishment. It belongs to God — and of course to Hambo, as God’s most dutiful messenger. So don’t use it!
Out of curiosity, we googled for images that used the rainbow in advertising. There’s a bunch of products that Hambo needs to criticize — including Skittles and Apple Computer’s rainbow-colored apple symbol. Now that Hambo intends to take the rainbow back, it’s going to be interesting.
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