Ken Ham Offers Meat to the Ladies

It shouldn’t surprise you that among his other talents, Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, knows what women want and how to give it to them.

Ol’ Hambo is famed not only for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), but also for the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum, and for building an exact replica of Noah’s Ark. He is unquestionably the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

He’s also an expert on women. That’s what we learn from his latest offering: Ladies, Prepare to Defend Your Faith This Year. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

We are very excited about our upcoming Answers for Women’s conference, Defend: Ready to Give an Answer, taking place April 7–8, 2017. This popular conference has become so big that it has outgrown Legacy Hall here at the Creation Museum, so we moved it to Florence Baptist Church Mt. Zion to take advantage of a larger venue.

It’s big — really big! Hambo explains:

Why is this conference so popular? Well, I believe it’s because women are hungry for truth and the substance of God’s Word. This conference won’t be just “fluff and stuff” that appeals to the emotions, but instead we will be wrestling with important questions of our day in the powerful light of God’s Word. And there’s always teaching on apologetics.

The next section is titled: A Conference of “Real, Practical Meat”. You’ll soon see why:

This conference features a great line-up of talented and knowledgeable speakers including AiG’s Dr. Georgia Purdom, Bodie Hodge, [etc., etc.]. These speakers will equip women with the tools to discern what is biblical truth and what is error within the church and so-called Christian resources. This is real, practical meat!

The ladies want meat, and Hambo gives it to them. He gives it good! After some testimonials from satisfied ladies, he tells us:

You won’t want to miss this truth-packed conference! Registration includes admission to the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter (the conference venue, Florence Baptist Church Mt. Zion is conveniently located halfway between both attractions), lunch on Saturday, 20% off admission to the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter for an accompanying spouse and dependent children, and 10% off groups of five or more.

Then he thoughtfully provides links where you can learn more, and actually register. Well, ladies, what are you waiting for? If meat is what you crave, Hambo’s got it, and he’s ready to give it to you. You know you want it. Go get it!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Ken Ham Offers Meat to the Ladies

  1. As to Hambo’s idea of meat, “I say it’s asparagus and I say the he** with it.” (Old New Yorker cartoon.)

  2. I don’t know what kind of hat Georgia wears, but she needs to lend it to Tim Chaffey for a few days. Go to the page and check out the speakers’ pics.
    https://answersingenesis.org/outreach/event/answers-for-women/

  3. Correcting myself; spinach, not asparagus. Sorry.

  4. Registration sounds pretty pricey, even with Ham’s “generous” discounts. But rest assured, President Donald “Groper in Chief” Trump will address (or grope?) the ladies.

  5. Michael Fugate

    Ian, seems obvious that when God was handing out looks they were in the other line complaining about their brains.

  6. It amazes me how badly women are treated in religion but they keep going to it.

  7. The Bodie Hodge and Dr. Georgia include “researcher” amongst their occupations. What do they research? Is there a hidden lab in the bowels of the museum?

  8. Michael Fugate

    “The Apostle Paul’s methodology of preaching in Acts and 1 Corinthians and its implications for expository preaching”
    Abney, Corey Len. PhD Dissertation The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, 2009.

    It comes with this add on:
    At the request of the author, this graduate work is not available to view or purchase.

    Secret? Why given that “Chapter 5 applies Paul’s methodology to the contemporary preacher. Implications for Paul’s model are discussed in detail”? Doesn’t this seem like something he would want to share?

  9. Ross Cameron

    Hope they cover the Old Testament and their demeaning of women.Especially those bits about ‘keep only the virgins for yourselves’. And no female among Jesus` ‘Top 12’. Why was that?

  10. Ham’s reference to meat sounds potentially salacious to secular folk, and he should have taken that implication into account. Instead, he seems to have taken it for granted that everyone would get the allusion to the passage in Hebrews chapter 5 comparing lessons for beginning Christians to milk and more advanced teaching to solid food (“meat” in King James lingo).

    13For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

  11. I quite take Retired Prof’s point, and I vaguely remember the passage, although the word the KJV translates as “meat” is translated in more modern versions as “solid food”. This is because in 1611 “meat” meant “solid food”. What a modern English-speaker would call meat – that is, animal tissue apart from fish – was then called “flesh”.

    But Ham (who is meaty enough in his own name) is offering the ladies “meat”. Talk about “this is my body”! I always thought Ham was setting up as a new messiah, and here we are. He is almost certainly unaware of the translation error, and even if he were not, he can rest assured that his intended audience is even more unaware of it. So, to Ham and his audience, the word means meat in its modern sense.

    I wonder if this is some kind of test of godliness? Or maybe of some other quality? The, um, erotic implications are pretty blatant, and I doubt if Ham or the ladies of the Church are so innocent that they do not notice, but of course it would be – ahem! – lewd to mention them. One must perforce act as though the thought could never occur.

    Which is to say that Ham is pitching to a group notable for either unsullied innocence or deceit. Either will do. Well, that’s creationism for you.

  12. Looks like Hambo is on the defensive. He should call the meeting “defending the indefensible”.

  13. Perhaps we can save those ladies some precious Franklins by answering those questions:

    How would you answer a friend asking if Jesus truly resurrected?

    Bollocks.

    How do you share the hope of heaven among all the stories of visits to heaven?

    Those are delusional or the result of (medicine-induced) hallucinations.

    Is the Bible even God’s true Word?

    Neither true nor any god’s word.

    Should we be involved in things like holy yoga and contemplative prayer?

    If you feel like a hippie, go for it.
    There, that was easy. Saved them a trip to the KY desert.

  14. I don’t know about “real, practical meat,” but the Answers for Women Conference surely is real, practical money-raising, which may be the whole idea.