Creative Challenge #37: How To Say ‘Get Lost’

At some point in your life you’re going to be introduced to a creationist. For our purposes, assume that it’s not some stranger with pamphlets knocking at your door, or some raving maniac who approaches you on the street. No one needs to be polite in such cases.

For today’s challenge, the encounter could be at a university, or maybe at some social occasion. The creationist may politely approach you, or be introduced to you, and before long he will announce that he’s a creationist. It may be in the form of a question (“Why do you believe X?”), or it may be something more confrontational (“I’m a creation scientist, not a Darwinist!”) However the encounter occurs, there you’ll be, face to face with one of the incurable droolers — and the circumstances don’t permit you to say: “Get away from me!”

Today’s challenge assumes that: (1) you’re not interested in a futile debate; and (2) you don’t want to be confrontational. You must decide how to disengage from the encounter as rapidly as possible, with as little discord as you can manage.

The form of today’s challenge is that you must tell us, with reasonable brevity:

How do you swiftly and peacefully disengage from a creationist encounter?

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.

There may not be a winner of this contest, but if there is, your Curmudgeon will decide, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “Creative Challenge #37: How To Say ‘Get Lost’

  1. Excuse me, I’m overdue on the planet Krypton.

  2. Many years ago we had an excellent babysitter. Her husband was working on his MSc researching a dating technique for materials up to 100 million years old. When I found out he was a creationist I managed a non-committal ‘Oh’ and the topic never came up again, but I’ve always regretted not asking how he reconciled the two views.

  3. Throw down a stun grenade and run away screaming, “Zombies!”

  4. Warren Johnson

    I regard creationism as heresy. Don’t worry, I don’t think heretics should be burned, or even stoned; just admonished to put away childish things.

  5. laughter

  6. Oh dear. You do know that the Flying Spaghetti Monster will be very upset with you? Unless you repent you’ll be forced to spend eternity in a pot of boiling pasta sauce.

  7. Just tell them to ‘go forth and multiply’ as you back away slowly.

  8. Once a creationist outs him or herself with some inane statement, I’ve found the best response is the simple question “Is this your opinion alone? Or are you speaking on behalf of the entire trailer park” followed by a mental note to never attend another cocktail party hosted by whoever invited you in the first place.

  9. “Is it true that all creationists are pedophiles?”

  10. Sorry, not interested.

  11. The last dude that was stoopid enough to ask if I accepted jesus and the story of genesis went away fast,,,as I answered…..You mean the story about some psychotic gawd raping a 14yr-old and giving birth to himself so that he could have a bad weekend to forgive us for the sin of getting knowledge from a girl eating fruit? …. it works on creationists too for some reason!

  12. Michael Fugate

    “I have to take this” as you pull out your phone…

  13. Oh good, you can answer something I keep getting confused about. Was it Marduk that split Tiamat to make earth and sky, or the other way about?

  14. @jimroberts
    I remember the difference by associating “Tiamat”, the goddess of the sea, with the “Tohuwabohu”, and the Biblical act of creation by separating the waters of the sea. That’s only a mnemonic, you realize. Of course, the active agent was the male god. And, btw, Marduk was a storm God, although Yahweh was not mentioned in Genesis 1, that still works as a mnemonic.

  15. Bwbach | 19-February-2017 at 3:05 pm |
    Many years ago we had an excellent babysitter. Her husband was working on his MSc researching a dating technique for materials up to 100 million years old. When I found out he was a creationist I managed a non-committal ‘Oh’ and the topic never came up again, but I’ve always regretted not asking how he reconciled the two views.

    Easy: he’s a vicious heretic, er, ahem, an old-earth creationist.

    Now for my entry:
    Tell them, very politely, “Sorry, can’t talk now: I’m late for my Black Mass.”

  16. “I have high standards for my beliefs. I don’t invoke an anthropomorphic unknowable supernatural disembodied will to explain natural phenomena. Nice talking with you.”

    https://sensuouscurmudgeon.wordpress.com/2017/02/19/creative-challenge-37-how-to-say-get-lost/#comment-110841

    I’d say “go forth and multiply with yourself.”

  17. “You’re a creationist? Oh dear, how sad, never mind.