Advice to Young Creationists from Ken Ham

Think of all the drooling children who dream of growing up to be creation scientists. Where can they go for advice? There’s no better source than Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else.

Hambo’s new post is Advice for Budding Creation Scientists. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

We often receive emails from young people who desire to study God’s creation and the book of Genesis to the glory of God. We’re always thrilled to hear about teens (and even some children) who love science and want to research starting with God’s Word.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Can you imagine those emails? “Oh, Hambo! I want to be a great creation scientist — just like you! All my teachers tell me I’m an idiot, but I don’t care! What can I do?”

Hambo says:

In a recent interview, AiG’s astronomer, Dr. Danny Faulkner, offered some advice to young people who wish to become creation scientists.

Danny’s undergraduate degree is from Bob Jones University, so he’s the right man to offer advice. This is what he tells the drooling children:

We need replacements — we need new people out there. I used to be able to count the number of biblical-creation astronomers on one hand, and now I’m on my second hand. But I’m not content — I want to take my shoes off and count the toes too!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! After describing his decision to be a creationist astronomer when he was in high school, Danny says:

It is a calling, and people need to seek God and pray; and if that is their calling, I encourage them to go for it because we do need more people. You can’t have too many scientists who are creationists — the more we have the better off we’ll be.

Yeah, we’ll all be better off. Danny’s advice continues:

If you go to a secular college, you’re going to have to get yourself grounded in biblical authority and creation science, sometimes even if you attend a Christian school. You need to know what you believe and why. Make sure you get plugged in with other students or with people within a local church or on campus who can support and help you.

That’s great advice! It’s vital to associate with people who know more than your professors. Let’s read on:

It helps to be stubborn.

Oh yeah! You gotta be stubborn. Danny explains:

People think stubbornness is a bad trait; I am convinced it’s not. Like many other traits, it’s neutral. The question is: can you channel that stubbornness? You can channel it towards being stupid, and that’s what most people think of. But who else are stubborn people? Honest businessmen and politicians, people who maintain their principles despite the sinfulness of the world.

Did you follow that? An honest businessman stubbornly resists being a thief, and a creation scientist stubbornly resists the sinfulness of secular science. They’re both good because they’re stubborn. Here’s the last of Danny’s advice

There’s a reason God has given this trait of stubbornness, so you need to channel that in the right way. Be committed to God’s Word and staying true to it.

Then Hambo returns with a link to yet more advice, after which he says:

And keep up to date with creationist research and writings on the Answers in Genesis website and with cutting-edge creationist research on our peer-reviewed Answers Research Journal.

That’s great advice too! Every child should be given a copy of Hambo’s article. It’s wonderful! And then Danny can play with his toes.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Advice to Young Creationists from Ken Ham

  1. Ross Cameron

    Let`s do the numbers. Danny claims success with (let`s be charitable) TEN astronomers. How many world-wide—1000? 10,000? I have no idea, but a miserable ten is good news?

  2. The International Astronomical Union has 12,664 (source: Wikipedia). Those are astronomers with a Ph.D. at a minimum.

    AiG apparently counts 6 or so astronomers with creationist leanings. He doesn’t say who they are or if they qualify for IAU membership.

  3. “Creation scientists”?

    Isn’t that an oxymoron?

    Of course, there’s probably more money in it than in most genuine scientific fields, with the possible exception of petroleum geology.

  4. If you’re a medically inclined creationist you might consider becoming a miasma theory MD.

  5. Dave Luckett

    To say that you’re winning, that the windmills are falling, that you are carrying the enemy before you – this is part and parcel of the delusion. But it’s an essential part. On its basis you can appeal for reinforcements and aid.

  6. Hey Danny Boy. If it gives you such pleasure, just go ahead and take off your shoes and socks and count those toes. Don’t worry about the rest of us. Each to their own.

  7. Dave Luckett

    I notice that nobody here has come back with the cheap shot that Danny F says he needs to take his shoes off to count above ten. Commendations all around. Carry on.

  8. Well, what does AiG’s superbrain, editor of the Answers Research Journal dr. A. Snelling, have to say?

    When Answers Research Journal launched in January 2008, the Internet buzzed with controversy. Skeptics claimed the journal would never produce quality scientific research or discussion. But thanks to the Lord’s guidance and blessing, they have been proved wrong.

    So everyhting’s okey dokey pig in a pokey at ARJ!

  9. “Oh, Hambo! I want to be a great creation scientist — just like you! All my teachers tell me I’m an idiot, but I don’t care! What can I do?”
    May I take the liberty to correct this? Those emails read rather like

    ““Oh, Hambo! I want to be a great creation scientist — just like you! All my fundagelical teachers without any scientific qualification/ all my fundagelical homeschool instruction books written by folks without any scientific qualification either tell me it’s the right way to spread Jesus’ Word, but I don’t tell me how to continue this Glorious Path! What can I do?”

  10. There’s a much quick way to become a fully-qualified creationist.

    It’s called a lobotomy.

  11. Stubborn? Absolutely required if you’re going to abandon facts and reason. Delusion helps too. Be assured, creationists, there’s no science that supports your claims. @EricLipps, you’re right, unfortunately, there’s big $$ in Hambo’s scam and those big fundamentalist churches. Too bad that money can’t go to legitimate science — climate science is going to need lots of help.

  12. Dan and Ham are not encouraging young creationists to become scientists, they are encouraging them to maintain the “stubborn” closed mind necessary to prevent them from ever becoming scientists.