AIG: Your Perfectly Designed Body

Our title may have surprised you, because we previously gave our coveted Buffoon Award to the Intelligent Designer — blessed be he! — for doing such a sloppy job of designing us. We declared the designer to be “a slob, an incompetent, and virtually an imbecile.”

Creationists, however, see things differently. Herewith we present the view of Dr. Tommy Mitchell, a medical doctor who is now a full-time, speaker/writer with Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia.

Yes, he likes to be called “Tommy” — see AIG’s bio page on him: Dr. Tommy Mitchell. His new article at the AIG website is All Systems Go. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

With around two hundred types of cells, nearly eighty organs, and a dozen or so organ systems, the human body is wonderfully complex. But its enormous complexity becomes even more apparent when we see the intricate relationships between its organ systems. Each organ system plays a role in supporting and maintaining the body, but ultimately all the systems must work together.

Ideally, yes. But sometimes, things go awry. For example, there are tragic cases where the brain and the colon battle for dominance, and when the colon prevails, the result is creationism. But Tommy doesn’t talk about that. He says:

The body is designed to maintain a state of balance, or equilibrium, among its many systems. It already “knows” what is a safe range and how to respond if this range is exceeded. … You see, our body has trillions of cells and multiple types of tissues, organs and organ systems. The internal environment of the body must be kept within strict ranges in order for each part to operate correctly. Our bodies are designed with many, many control systems that help maintain the balance necessary to create stable internal conditions.

He goes on like that for several paragraphs, which we’ll skip. Finally he gets around to his big message:

To maintain so many variables within very narrow ranges demands a web of complex and precise interacting mechanisms. How likely is it that all these interactive controls could arise by chance? Not likely at all, is it?

Gasp! It’s not likely! After that astonishing revelation, Tommy tells us:

Something as incredible as this can only be the work of the Master Designer, by whom we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

That’s it. That’s the whole article. Stunning, isn’t it? But we’re left with one question: If we are so “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a “Master Designer,” then why is there any need for physicians?

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “AIG: Your Perfectly Designed Body

  1. If we are so “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a “Master Designer,” then why is there any need for physicians?

    Shoddy work by the designer is my best guess. Maybe we are the beta release?

  2. Michael Fugate

    Given that they didn’t arise by chance, the likelihood is zero. Selection is not chance.

  3. Mark Germano

    Yikes: Two Dr. Mitchells at AIG. I wonder if that was designed.

  4. Doctor Stochastic

    The designer must be a engineer. Who else would run a sewer line through a recreational area?

  5. We’re so perfectly designed that physicians nearly starve to death for lack of patients to treat.

  6. Perfect design? The lower back and knees disprove that claim easily.

  7. So perfectly designed that I no longer have tonsils or a gall bladder due to infections. I have hypertension and a seizure disorder. I wear trifocals. How perfect can you get?

  8. Ross Cameron

    Funny how both the bible and Dr. Tommy never mention the sole factor that keeps us alive—–bacteria.

  9. As I understand, an individual human female is born with something like a million ova, of which something usually less than 10 ever are fertilized and make it through to live birth.

  10. The doctor has apparently never noticed that his sky fairy (blessed be he, she, it) cleverly designed his dearly beloved with air and food pipes crossing, ensuring that a proportion of his/her/its dearly beloved would choke to death each year. A freshman engineering student at Lehigh University could so a better job.

  11. Charles Deetz ;)

    Imagine living just a couple hundred years ago. Before anesthesia, eyeglasses, or dentistry. Or even aspirin. And folks back then were just as delirious with the imagined perfect creation.

  12. Peter (Oz) Jones

    @Dr Tommy
    (I am plagiarising myself here, hope I don’t mind)
    mmm, this Master Designer is probably even more incredible?
    So, I am just hazarding a guess here.
    There is a Yugely Bigger Designer who made this Master Designer.
    Oh, wait a minute, I think there is a snag here . . . isn’t there?

  13. If “Tommy” is “fearfully afraid” of the master designer, then he must be terrified of sean spicer. After all, if the highly improbable creations the designer made make him scared of the designer, then he must become absolutely catatonic with fear after listening to a WH press briefing.
    The rest of us just reach for a pail.

  14. Reggie Rolltide

    SC, I love this line of yours: “…the brain and the colon battle for dominance, and when the colon prevails, the result is creationism.”

  15. Dave Luckett

    When what works is retained, and what doesn’t work is culled, then that the successively more complex arrangements work is not only likely, it’s inevitable.

  16. “then why is there any need for physicians?”
    Because back in The Garden of Eden our two common ancestors ate a forbidden piece of fruit. Duh.
    You guys all forget about another elementary creacrap principle.
    a) If you something is good, praise the Lord.
    b) If you something is bad, blame Homo Sapiens.

  17. Small correction: because Adam ate the fruit.
    Adam, as the male, was the responsible party.

  18. I thought it was Eve’s idea in the first place, you know because of the original sin of nagging.

  19. Erik John Bertel, wouldn’t that be original peer pressure?

  20. Charles Deetz, they really weren’t enthusing over the body’s perfection back then, they were extolling how many virtuous lessons its imperfections could teach us, and lamenting that we had fallen so far from grace that God condemned us to such a fallen state.

    Of course, AIG will, when it suits them, claim that our poor design features are punishment from God as well, without seeing any apparent contradiction in that position.

  21. The ID folks over at Discovery must just love having “design” defended with a crib from Psalms, given that they like to pretend their ideas have nothing to do with religion.

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