Creationist Wisdom #759: Blithering Balderdash

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Kingman Daily Miner of Kingman, Arizona. It’s titled Evolution fails the test. The newspaper doesn’t have a comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He has the same name as a creationist preacher, but the writer is described as a “local resident,” and the rev lives elsewhere, so we’ll only use this guy’s first name, which is Arv. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

First, Arv mentions something that appeared earlier in the paper, claiming that the Earth is 13 billion years old. He declares:

That age is incorrect. The mistake is believing the rock layers making up earth’s crust took that long to form. All the geologic record was formed by Noah’s flood, only about 4,400 years ago.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Then he says:

The universe appears to be expanding. There are 17 different Bible verses that state that God created the stars in closer to the earth, then moved them outward like you would a curtain that was bunched up. Since man, being created on Day 6, had to be able to observe them for determining “signs, seasons, days, and years,” God would have had to leave a trail of light coming back to us at the speed of light, which gives the appearance of an expanding universe.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Good stuff, huh? Then he devotes a few paragraphs to Noah’s Flood. That part of the letter ends with this:

In order to form fossils they have to be buried deeply and suddenly. There would be no fossil record without Noah’s flood. We find “billions of dead things, buried in rock layers, laid down by water, all over the earth.” Noah’s flood is the best explanation for that.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Arv continues:

Evolution fails the test because what we find are missing layers, reversed layers, polystrate fossils running through many layers, human artifacts in every rock strata [sic], clear down into the supposed Pre-Cambrian. If evolution were true that is not what would be observed.

It’s always fun to see a new creationist claim, and before this letter we’ve never seen anyone say that there are human artifacts in every rock stratum. Let’s read on:

If evolution actually happened, we should be able to look all around us and observe at least thousands of life forms in all different stages of change from one distinct life form into a completely different life form. None can be observed.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! How about penguins, flying squirrels, walking catfish, sea lions, etc. A few years ago we wrote No Transitional Species? Take a Look at This. Arv isn’t done yet. How about this old clunker:

Evolution fails scientific testing. Cats produce other cat kinds and dogs produce other dog kinds. That is why there are no dats or cogs running around.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Another excerpt:

If evolution actually happened in the past, we should be able to observe billions [Hee hee!] of life forms in all different stages of change from one distinct life form into a completely different life form. Those “missing links” are still missing. Evolution fails that test also proving it did not happen in the past, either.

[*Groan*] See Wikipedia’s List of transitional fossils. And now we come to the end:

Evolution is a fairy tale for grownups that don’t understand real science. “Once upon a time, long ago and far away, billions of years ago.” A lullaby and good night.

Great letter, Arv! A fine addition to our collection.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #759: Blithering Balderdash

  1. WTF? “All the geologic record was formed by Noah’s flood, only about 4,400 years ago.” A flood rearranged geologic strata that go miles deep? How do these idiots come up with these bizarre ideas. (I think they are an amalgamation of ideas they have been fed, joined in ways nobody who knew what they were saying would.)

    Noah’s flood is the dumbest idea ever promoted. According to the accounts, all of the land animals would have run to the highest point available to them, then drowned and some of their carcasses would have floated away. But basically you should find all fossils concentrated on hill tops if they are right (which they are not).

    Also, these idiots keep looking for the remains of Noah’s ark. If the flood lasted for a year, as they claim, all of the dry land animals and plants, trees, etc. would have died. When the water receded the dead trees would have been waterlogged and useless for building or firewood until dried, which would take the better part of a year at least. So what was Noah to have used as a source of building materials for shelters and animal pens and fuel to stay warm? (Hint: the Ark.) There would be nothing left to find, but Gomer and his ilk are still out there looking for proof!

    It is comforting to know, though, that there are Christian curmudgeons, too.

  2. My assumption would be that Arv’s letter to the editor was written in crayon.

  3. Christine Janis

    “Cats produce other cat kinds and dogs produce other dog kinds. That is why there are no dats or cogs running around.”

    What about dacoon rogs?

    http://lh3.ggpht.com/QqwKV2ELA2I-MQc2-9C9J-LToLcIver9m_7Ax2_CiwrvloQM1M211tnjSHgyq-u3SLEqVhSLfwci5pWQlphh1g=s1200

  4. “…dogs produce other dog kinds..” No, they don’t. A pair of chihuahuas does not and cannot produce anything but a chihuahua. If they did then the ToE would be falsified.

  5. I’d like to just ignore these creotard examples of dunning-kruger, but they completely outnumber us…..

  6. “thousands of life forms in all different stages of change from one distinct life form into a completely different life form.”
    From zygote to elderly (wo)man.
    Ah well, we can’t expect anything else from a creacrapper who still brings up a variation of the crocoduck.

  7. Mark Germano

    “Cats produce other cat kinds and dogs produce other dog kinds. That is why there are no dats or cogs running around.”

    Arv’s letter is a transitional species between a male domesticated ungulate and a shih tzu.

  8. Well there is no lack of stoopid in the world! As he clearly demonstrated!
    And of Cats??? He clearly never heard of the civet test!!!! He would fail!!!

  9. Holding The Line In Florida

    Could this possibly be a Poe? It is just about the dumbest of all the letters we have and that is saying a lot!

  10. Hey Steve Ruis. The bizarre world of american creationism has no limits!
    It is truly stunning for a geoscientist to hear these creationism claims. Its out there.

  11. If there actually were “human artifacts in every rock [stratum],” it would be better evidence for time travel than for creationism. There’s just too much other evidence indicating that humans weren’t around in the Precambrian (or indeed in the Pliocene).

    As for that “trail of light,” young-earth creationists have always had to strain to account for human observations of objects millions of light-years away. There are, as far as I’m aware, only two explanations on offer: either those objects only appear to be so far away and are really only thousands of light-years (at most) away from Earth, or God created the universe with light already on its way, providing the illusion of great age. Both explanations are ridiculous, and both make God out to be a liar, “testing our faith” with deceptions.

  12. What a great letter, SC! Arv not only doesn’t understand evolution, he doesn’t understand creationism. This is a gem.

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