Creationist Wisdom #766: 165 Million Years

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Lake County Examiner of Lakeview, Oregon. It’s titled A 17th Letter to America — presumably because the letter-writer is so prolific. It’s the first of several letters at that link, and the others have more conventional titles. The newspaper has a comments feature — with no comments so far.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Manuel. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Two separate events shows how unbelieving of God’s Word, Mankind has become. Both used the-time-figure 165 million years.

Wowie — two separate events, both using 165 million years? That’s amazing! Manuel says:

The first showed NASA’s gold plated satellite dish that supposedly will go into space and be able to go back some 165 million years into the evolution of the universe. At least, that’s “Man’s” foolish goal!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We’re not certain what he’s referring to, but it’s probably an orbiting telescope that’s going to look at stuff 165 million light years away. Manuel is outraged! After that he tells us:

The second was a newspaper announcement of a coming circus event “where you can experience firsthand the giants of today’s world” (elephants) “and enormous creatures from the past” (dinosaurs). That supposedly takes you back 165 million years to the Mesozoic Era, when they say dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Manuel explains why that too is an outrage:

Problem with that Mesozoic Era time period, and others, is that a human being assigned each layer of rock the time they were formed, and completely ignored the Creator who was there and formed it. God, the Creator, spoke it into being, out of invisible particles, called atoms, and held together by His Word.

It’s easy to understand why Manuel was motivated to write his letter. He continues:

According to “The Word of God,” time started only a few thousand years ago. God declared the first earthly day after He lit up the Sun, creating night and day, because of the earth’s 24-hour rotation. God invented time.

[*Groan*] According to Genesis, the Sun was created on the fourth day. Let’s read on:

At that time Earth was uninhabitable, fully covered by water, and THERE WAS NO LIFE!

What’s he shouting for? Oh, according to Genesis, dry land, grass, and fruit trees had already been made on the third day. Another excerpt:

On the subsequent five days [Huh?] God caused land to rise, creating dry land, created all forms of vegetation, trees, and other things to sustain life. From the dust of the earth He formed all animals and Man and gave them life, including the infamous dinosaurs (probably the behemoth referred to by God in Job 40:15-19).

You’re all wondering: Where is Manuel going with his peculiar version of Genesis? That’s explained — sort of — in his final paragraph:

God made Dinosaurs and Man on the 6th day of creation. Now Man questions the existence of God, with “words without knowledge” (Job 38:2). The truth is in God’s Word, not Man.

So there you are. NASA is wrong, geology is wrong, biology is wrong, and Manuel is right. What a letter!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #766: 165 Million Years

  1. Dave Luckett

    This correspondent of the Lake County Observer of Lakeview, Oregon, is an idiot. The rest of the letters are far more sensible, indicating that most people are not idiots. We must pin our hopes on that.

  2. Ross Cameron

    How do bible believers know it`s god`s word? See any signatures at the end of each account? Any miracle cure for cancer? Any prophecy about the research or inventions that shape our world today? Any divine wisdom that blows your mind? When you stand back and look at the book realistically, it`s just a collection of folk-tales. And not very well written, either.

  3. A question for Manuel (and other creo-tards): “At what point, after nearly flunking out of high school, did you suddenly become a genius?”

    Oh, when you got internet access on AOL?

  4. robert van bakel

    I think he’s refering to the James Webb Telescope due for launch October next year. It does indeed have the job of imaging galaxy formation, hoprfully 200,000 years after the Big Bang. And planet hunting with far more power than Hubble; Oh dear, more evidence to poorly explain away.

    His lack of knowledge of his own holy book is classic; don’t know no scince nor no Bible stuff.

  5. Ceteris Paribus

    “Manuel” notes: “Two separate events shows how unbelieving of God’s Word, Mankind has become. Both used the-time-figure [sic] 165 million years.

    We need to note that not even the intrepid Ken Ham has ever ventured past the single “millions of years” barrier in any of his lectures. But Manuel has raised the Creationist ante and offered the hyphenated bid of “the-time-figure [sic] 165 million years”. That sounds like something out of Huxley’s “Brave New World” use of the term “double-plus-extra-good”.

    I dunno. But Ken Ham should be on notice that he needs to carefully think about his next move in the time line of creationism.

  6. @Ceteris Paribus
    I believe that language like “doubleplusgood” is in the writings of George Orwell. See Wikipedia “List of Newspeak words:.

  7. Ceteris Paribus

    @TomS
    You may be right. But Huxley did use the hyphenated term “Double-Plus” as the “the superior subdivision among Alphas” I may have unconsciously invented a neologism, combining both Huxley and Orwell. (Huxley was Orwell’s high school French teacher.) So, in any case, here’s a toast to Newspeak! (And now drink the Soma.)

  8. Even worse, God created us in His own image and surely it was not just a beauty contest, he endowed us with smarts, too. So we study God’s Own Creation and we learn that things are very different that the purveyor of a holy book whose original manuscript is not available and whose authors are clearly not the people listed. So, Manuel, who are you going to believe, lying politicians or your own eyes?

  9. About the original manuscripts.
    Were there original manuscripts?
    First of all, is it not possible that some of the Bible was produced by the spoken (or sung) word, and handed down that way for generations before people began to record the various versions in writing?
    Even for modern written works, it can be difficult to determine what, exactly, should be printed as the definitive text. What manuscripts and what changes that the author wrote, or editorial changes that the author consented to, etc.
    I suggest that the idea of “original manuscript” is a modern European invention. Not something which would occur to the people who produced the Bible. Is it possible that divine inspiration was working at different stages in producing the Bible?

  10. About the manuscripts.
    Oral tradition seems a certainty, for example, the two contradictory creation stories. Retelling must have introduced numerous versions and once the stories were written down, copyists made additional alterations. In addition to wine, fatigue and laziness, politics and religious differences likely also changed the stories. The only “inspiration” I see for OT stories is their repeated use to claim to a strip of land. Modern fundies like Ham have a different agenda.

  11. “God, the Creator, spoke it into being, out of invisible particles, called atoms, and held together by His Word.”
    Ah, the Standard Creacrap Model of Elementary Particles. We can forget about gravity, electromagnetism, the weak force and the strong force. Send this letter to Stockholm – Manuel is in for the Nobel Price for Physics!

  12. Eric Lipps

    According to Genesis, God ordained day and night on the first day of creation, but didn’t get around to creating the sun, moon and stars until the fourth.

    Evidently Manuel hasn’t picked up on that little oddity, which suggests that the Genesis fable is actually a synthesis of at least two separate accounts. If God wrote the Book of Genesis (and presumably guided translators to make sure they got it right), how could this be possible?

  13. God made man in his own image. We know how error-prone “man” is, therefore if we are in God’s image, God must also be error-prone. It might explain why the deeds in the bible make so little sense.

  14. @Eric Lipps
    And the text for day four explicitly says that God put those lights in the firmament in order to separate the day from the night, and to mark the passing of days. How could there be days one, two and three before there were those tools to count off the days?

  15. “A 17th letter to America”, eh?

    Well, I, for one, am impressed that Manuel chose the Lake County Examiner (Lake County, Or; pop:7,895) as the vehicle for his conversation with America. Not for him one of the tawdry newspapers with circulation figures in the hundreds of thousands, but full of false news. Nor even radio, such as Alistair Clarke’s long running “Letter from America”; though Manual has a few letters to catch up to Clarke’s 2,800-odd missives.

    But though his understanding of science leaves something to be desired, Manuel speaks from the heart. Perhaps his dislocation in LakeView is a cause of his discontent.

    Back in his hometown of Coalgate, OK (pop:1,920) they know how to teach “science”, if you know what I mean. Coalgate is in Coal county, and it’s a bright Red county in a bright Red state. LakeView by comparison is also a bright Red county but it’s in a very Blue state and things just aren’t the same, if you know what I mean.

  16. techreseller

    Assuming that as you write more letters your competence level goes up. How bad was that first letter? Oh boy.

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