Creationist Wisdom #767: Bible Predictions

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Guardian, published in Charlottetown, the capital and largest city of the Canadian province of Prince Edward Island. It’s titled Bible predictions 100 per cent right, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. Unfortunately we don’t know his first name (or gender, but we’ll assume he’s male) because he uses only his initials, which are R.A. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The Bible is an open book and does not hide anything. It is the most comprehensive book in the world and has stood the test of time because it is the truth.

Nobody can argue with that! Then R.A. says:

The truth never grows old or out of date, but we have decided to ignore God’s given wisdom and set our course for destruction. We have taken the 10 commandments out of the justice system, prayer out of the schools, replaced Sunday school with sports and teach evolution instead of creation by a loving God.

Sad, but true. After that he tells us:

The Bible is a treasure trove for archaeology and science, but the prophecy is fantastic (100 per cent correct).

Wowie! You can’t think of any bible prophecies that weren’t correct, can you, dear reader? R.A. continues:

A 200 million man army is predicted when that was the population of the whole world.

We had to search, but we found that prediction. It’s in Revelation 9:16 (King James version, of course). It says:

And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand: and I heard the number of them.

Yup, that’s 200 million — all riding horses. Quite a prediction! Let’s read on:

North Korea is a problem today (the Bible predicted the atom would be split) after swords, spears and arrows were the choice.

We were skeptical of that prediction. but a search discloses that R.A. is correct. Take a look at 2 Peter 3:10. It’s right there:

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

The last paragraph is about Jesus, and we know you’ll want to click over there to read it for yourself, so we’ll skip to the final sentence of the letter, which informs us:

Our main duty on earth is to glorify God and good Christians glorify God in thought, word and deed, not what anyone else says.

Not much there about creationism, but we couldn’t leave R.A.’s letter out of our collection.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #767: Bible Predictions

  1. I find it amazing how xtians love to demonstrate their ignorance while thinking they sound so smart!!!

  2. What amazes me is that all these who claim our sole purpose is to glorify God, STILL aren’t walking around like Ghandi. Nope, they still got a house, buying material things, going to work each day.

  3. Scientist

    Kosh. I get your point, but I doubt RA would agree that walking around half naked in homespun glorifies god. It’s hard, though, to think of what would glorify the christian deity, raising the question as to whether the need for glorification is a personality disorder.

  4. Mike Elzinga

    That extinction event about 65 million years ago – in the which the heavens passed away with a great noise, and the elements melted with fervent heat, and the earth also and the works that were therein burned up – eventually led to us. Maybe the dinosaurs were naughty in god’s eyes and got what was coming to them. So maybe the bible is about what happend to the dinosaurs; we are just reading it incorrectly.

    But, who knows; maybe there is still another asteroid out there with our name on it. Does the bible predict that?

  5. Mark Germano

    If you are especially holy, the Bible will reveal even the winner of the next World Series. The prophecy won’t be clear, however, until late October or early November.

  6. I seem to remember that Jesus prophesized his audience would see his second coming before they would die ….. we are still waiting.

  7. Uh, hello? Matthew 16:28 by Jesus hisself … didn’t he kind of miss on that one? Funny kind of truth where you get to ignore the ones got wrong.

  8. Dave Luckett

    The great strength of prophecies is this: If they haven’t happened, they just haven’t happened yet.

    So when Ezekiel chapter 26 predicted the utter destruction of Tyre, he was really predicting its fall after Alexander’s siege three centuries later. Never mind that he specifically said it would fall to Nebuchadnezzar. Also never mind that the bit about it being reduced to bare rock was wrong, too.

    So Isaiah chapter 11 tells us that the Messiah would lead a military campaign against states bordering Israel and Judah. That hasn’t happened yet, either. Never mind that those states don’t exist any more, and haven’t for thousands of years. Could still happen.

    Or when Micah said that the Messiah would be a prince, a governor that would rule his people Israel. That just hasn’t happened yet, either.

    And Jesus said that some of the people within earshot would see him return in glory. Only that hasn’t happened yet, either. And they’re all dead, which is only a problem if you think in gross physical terms. They’ll all see him with the eyes of the spirit, come the last day. Erm. Which hasn’t happened yet, either.

  9. Ceteris Paribus

    @Dave Luckett:

    Good point. Calls to mind the strategy used by a foolish gambler who places a bet on every horse in the race, and then loudly proclaims to have been proven “Correct 100% of the time!”

  10. Eric Lipps

    And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand: and I heard the number of them.

    Two hundred million soldiers on horseback? The poop smell alone would qualify as chemical warfare.

    North Korea is a problem today (the Bible predicted the atom would be split) after swords, spears and arrows were the choice.

    We were skeptical of that prediction. but a search discloses that R.A. is correct. Take a look at 2 Peter 3:10. It’s right there:

    But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

    Most religious people think it’s God’s wrath the Bible was referring to, not nuclear weapons. R.A. is really reaching, though he isn’t alone; some other fundies, desperate to make Bible predictions credible in modern terms, have come out with similar claims.

    I’d like to know how R.A. can say that Bible prophecies which haven’t yet come true are “100 percent right.” Surely that’s a judgment to be made after the fact.

  11. jimroberts

    Jesus got a more personally relevant prediction wrong:
    Mat 12.40: For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale’s belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.
    The times of J’s death, burial and resurrection differ a bit from gospel to gospel, but even being as generous as possible you can’t get him more than two nights, a full day and two part days in the heart of the earth.