Creationist Wisdom #772: The Designer’s Defender

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Pueblo Chieftain of Pueblo, Colorado. It’s titled Not by chance, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Claire. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

In The Chieftain of May 13, Leia Marie, in her column, states, “Whether a result of intelligent design, sheer chance within the stunning process of evolution, or — my personal favorite — some glorious interplay between the two, it is astonishing that we’re here at all.”

This is the column that inspired Claire’s letter: A meditation on the miracle that is life. It’s a gushy piece. The author is described as “a psychotherapist, spiritual mentor and reiki practitioner.” According to Wikipedia, Reiki “is pseudoscience. It is based on qi (‘chi’), which practitioners say is a universal life force, although there is no empirical evidence that such a life force exists.” Anyway, her casual reference to intelligent design seems to have angered Claire. She says:

Would that “intelligent designer” design his creation and then turn it over to chance, to the random process of evolution? Not a chance. If you’re the designer, that would not be the intelligent thing to do.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Claire knows how the designer behaves. She says:

However, he might set aside his design for a time and play around with chance? Not a chance.

The intelligent designer — blessed be he! — wouldn’t mess around with chance! Clair informs us:

Chance has no intelligent design, and has no power to do anything, because is has no being. It is merely an abstract word. It causes nothing to happen.

Phooey on chance! Claire continues:

There must be a cause. There is.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] Claire tells us what the cause is:

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Gen. 1:1).

Yes. Of course! The rest of the letter is another bible quote, so we’ll quit here. Great defense of the designer, Claire!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #772: The Designer’s Defender

  1. Steve Watson

    I realize that stochastic optimization is a bit of an esoteric subject to expect random newspaper letter-writers to know about, but Claire is wrong. Intelligent designers do, in fact, on occasion turn their projects over to “chance”.

  2. First of all, artists often do let their productions to the working of chance. See the Wikipedia article on “Aleatory music”. Potters make use of the chance of “crackle graze”. Bronze sculptures are subject to the patina. Playwrights let the actors interpret the script while the actors are reacting to the unpredictable audience.
    Casinos make a living by the operations of chance events. Indeed, the casinos do not like it if their customers are making things happen not by chance.
    There are serious theologians in mainstream religions who say that it is the way of God to let go of control of creation. (Who am I to argue with them?)
    Chance has no intelligent design, and has no power to do anything, because is has no being. It is merely an abstract word. It causes nothing to happen.
    One can make the observations that Design has no power to do anything. It is merely a noun with no reference. It causes nothing to happen.

  3. Ross Cameron

    “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Gen. 1:1).
    Of course, using the ole Hambone favourite line—-Claire, were you there?

  4. Many scholars of Hebrew prefer other translations of the opening words of the Bible. Something like:
    In the beginning of God’s creation of the heavens and the earth …
    When God began to create the heavens and the earth …

  5. Hey! Claire I wont say she is rather dim but the chances of us being here are not only 100% (cuz we are here! Dim one), but are not even calculable as there is nothing available to compare to!

  6. TomS, Genesis 1:1-2 is TERRIBLE. We’re obviously missing some key words in it. Which is part of the reason that when someone starts a sentence with “Genesis clearly says . . .” you can pretty much disregard whatever they’re about to say.