Creative Challenge #40: Find the Connection

This one is really challenging, even for your Curmudgeon. We spotted this headline in the Telegraph, published in London: Spanish woman claims ownership of the sun. You’ll want to read it all, so we’ll give you just a few excerpts:

A Spanish woman claims she has become the legal owner of the Sun after registering it as her property with a local notary and now plans to charge those who use it.

Angeles Duran, 49, from Vigo in Spain’s northwestern region of Galicia, applied for ownership of the fiery star at the centre of our solar system after learning that similar claims had been made by an American on the Moon, Mars and Venus.

Fascinating, isn’t it? Then the Telegraph says:

Last week Miss Duran was issued with a document that declares she is “the owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, at an averaged distance from Earth of around 149,600,000 kilometres” (93 million miles).

Wowie — she was issued a document! One more excerpt:

“I know the law and backed my claim legally,” she told local media. “I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first.” She announced that she now plans to profit from her property and wants to charge those whose benefit from its energy.

Addendum: We Googled for the woman’s name and found that this isn’t a new story. The Daily Mail has a story about her from back in 2010: Spanish woman claims she owns the sun – and now plans to start charging ALL users.

And now for the challenge. We assume that with a story this wild, there must be some creationism in there somewhere, so the form of today’s challenge is that you must tell us, with reasonable brevity:

What ‘s the creationist connection to this woman’s claim?

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.

There may not be a winner of this contest, but if there is, your Curmudgeon will decide, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

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20 responses to “Creative Challenge #40: Find the Connection

  1. Easy–provided one is allowed to quote-mine in best Discoveroid fashion, viz.

    Sun-owner Angeles Duran declares:

    “It is time to start doing things the right way, if there is an idea for how to generate income…then why not do it?”

    Ole Hambo couldn’t have put it better!

  2. I am not a lawyer, but I would caution her that the Sun also can be responsible for damages.
    Which has this Connection to the Curmudgeon’s Creative Challenge:
    I remember a story about someone tried to sue God for damages which were recognized in the law as an Act of God, but didn’t get very far.
    Acts of God according to the law are being random events. Unlike evolution, being natural, is not random, but subject to the laws of nature.

  3. I wonder if anyone wants to claim the Seventh Planet — the one that dare not speak its name.

  4. Our Curmudgeon asks:

    I wonder if anyone wants to claim the Seventh Planet

    That belongs to the DiscoTute, by right of occupation; they’ve been squatting there many years now.

  5. I’ll be suing her for the damages her sun has incurred on my skin (two bouts of skin cancer).

    I’m open to making it a class action suit if anyone wants to join in.

  6. This is what secular humanism leads to. This woman is either Catholic or atheist – same thing, really – and so feels that she can place herself above God, that she can take His authority. People often mock the story of the Tower of Babel and disbelieve that people would actually try to build a tower to heaven when there’s evidence of man’s hubris right in front of them. This, dear believer, is why you should always trust only in the Bible, and in particular in how we tell you ought to read the Bible, which is as a literal narrative account.

    For more, please go to our website and order the first DVD in my “Why God (And Me) Is Always Right” series for only $29.99.

  7. Here’s another news story about her: The curious case of the woman suing eBay over ownership of the sun. It says she “dreamt up her own religion,” but doesn’t give any details.

  8. While ludicrous, it isn’t based on Biblical literalism, quite the opposite. The Bible says that the sun, moon, etc. are “lights in the sky”. I suppose one could take ownership of what is essentially a celestial light fixture, but she is emphasizing the sun as a plasma ball-nuclear furnace. Another issue by the Bible the sun would belong to God who put it there for the purpose of giving light to the earth. Yes, crazy comes in many varieties.

  9. Count me in – I have had one round, on the face, thus far.

  10. Weird ….. I always thought it was our dear SC who advocated space exploring by means of property rights and otherwise nothing but free entrepreneurship …. and that’s exactly what’s she’d doing, isn’t she? Or has our dear SC become a socialist, claiming collective ownership?

  11. She can’t own the sun because I own the galaxy. For a price i might be willing to subdivide and sell it to her for commercial use, subject to zoning board and NRC approvals.

  12. jimroberts

    We don’t need the sun, so even if she turns it off because we won’t pay for it, we’ll get by. We already often go for days without seeing the sun, but we get by just fine on the universal light which, by day, suffuses the whole sky, as instituted, then immediately restricted, by Elohim on Day One, Gen 1:3-5.

  13. mnb0 says: “Weird ….. I always thought it was our dear SC who advocated space exploring by means of property rights and otherwise nothing but free entrepreneurship …. and that’s exactly what’s she’d doing, isn’t she?”

    No, that’s not what she’s doing. In the case of an already-known astronomical body, she would need to visit it to explore for mineral deposits she could claim (by right of discovery), and she could then refine the material and bring it to Earth for sale. We would all benefit from that kind of entrepreneurial activity.

  14. The things she’d be selling would all be hot.

  15. Ceteris Paribus

    “What ‘s the creationist connection to this woman’s claim?”

    After consulting my huge archival storehouse of Mad Magazine issues from the 1960’s, it is quite apparent that the name “Fiona Govan” is a hidden clue.
    So in the context of both “Mad Magazine” and “Creationsim”, there is a high probability that Fiona is just having fun with us. I suspect that within a day or three from now, Fiona will send out a press release saying only: “It’s crackers to slip a rozzer, the dropsy in snide”.

  16. SC asks ” What’s the creationist connection to this woman’s claim?” Angeles is absolutely stark barking mad?

  17. I believe god gave “man” dominion over the earth. Nothing was said about the sun, so I assume god reserved it to him/her/self. But, if not, with ownership comes responsibility. Perhaps Angeles can prevent it from burning out in a few billion years.

  18. och will, so far, you may be the winner.

  19. Eric Lipps

    Ownership implies responsibility. If Ms. Duran owns the sun, then every person who gets a sunburn can sue her. Not to mention all those corporations and governments which could claim damages when solar flares damage satellites they have in orbit.

  20. Ceteris Paribus

    @och will:
    quick – go append “nutter” to your already magnificent diagnosis of “barking mad” !
    That would put the question in the pluperfect tense, and SC must award you the prize.