Creationist Wisdom #776: What a Face!

Today’s letter-to-the-editor (it’s a column, really) appears in the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, published three times a week in Wasilla, Alaska — of which Sarah Palin was mayor before her election as Governor of Alaska. It’s titled God has spoken through the Bible, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Ethan Hansen, pastor of the Faith Bible Fellowship in Big Lake, Alaska. We’ll give you a few excerpts from rev’s column, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis.

But first, we call your attention to the rev’s photograph which appears above his column at the newspaper’s website. You gotta click over there to see it! Were it not for our caution about possible copyright violations, we would have copied it and placed it above this post. We think the rev’s photo should be the universal symbol of creationism. Okay, here we go:

Romans chapter 1 says that we can look at the world around us and know that God exists and that he is very, very powerful. In my backyard are chickens, ducks, swans, sandhill cranes and moose. All of this points to the glory of God. If there is a painting, there must be a painter. If there is a building, there must be a builder. If there is a creation, there must be a creator.

Very persuasive! Then he says:

If God exists (and he does), has he spoken? Yes! God has spoken to you and me through the Bible. Unfortunately, there are many wrong attitudes toward the Bible. One wrong attitude toward the Bible is rationalism. Rationalism says that the mind is supreme. People say, “I think” or, “The Bible doesn’t make sense to me.” Extreme Rationalism is atheism or agnosticism. God’s Word is supreme.

Yeah — phooey on rationalism! After that the rev tells us:

Another wrong attitude is mysticism. Mysticism says that experience is supreme. Mysticism claims that experience is the final authority. A mystic says, “If it fits my experience, it is correct and valid but if it doesn’t fit my experience, it is invalid.” No. The Bible is the final authority and all our experiences must be judged by Scripture. Experience is not the final authority for determining what is true and what is false.

Right — phooey on experience! The rev continues:

The right attitude is the orthodox attitude. The Bible alone is the final authority and must be obeyed. Why do we believe the Bible? We believe the Bible based upon evidence. There is both internal and external evidence that the Bible is supernatural. The internal evidence is that the Bible claims to be inspired by God. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God….” Inspired means “God breathed.” Scripture is the product of the breath of God. He is the source of the very words themselves.

This is thrilling! Let’s read on:

We also believe the Bible because of external evidence. God used forty different authors over sixteen hundred years in three different languages in six different parts of the world to write the Bible and yet there are no errors and no contradictions. Take any other subject, such as science, and choose forty authors who wrote over sixteen hundred years. Would there be any real unity? Of course not!

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] No errors and no contradictions! Here’s one more excerpt from the end:

Read the Bible, obey the Bible and watch the power of God flow through your life!

So there you are, dear reader. Now go back to the newspaper’s website and take another look at the rev’s photo. It will inspire you even more than his words.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #776: What a Face!

  1. Richard Bond

    No contradictions??? Has this nincompoop ever read the first two chapters of Genesis?

  2. Wikipedia has an article on Internal consistency of the Bible, but I haven’t studied it.

  3. There are some great sites that catalog biblical contradictions – I like this one: https://infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/contradictions.html

  4. Not a whole lot happening in Wasilla, need to fill the paper with something, maybe an item that requires no rational thinking would fill in the void. Maybe next issue we could encourage Ethan to write a story about his backyard and all his chickens, ducks, swans, sandhill cranes and moose.

  5. Michael Fugate

    I do wonder what dictionary Ethan is using to define “error”, “contradiction”, “unity”, “evidence”, etc..

  6. What would you think was the worst:
    a) killing people, including infants
    b) destroying people’s property
    c) misleading people about the laws of nature
    There are people who say that if God does (a), that is not murder, and when God does (b) that is not theft, so those actions described in the Bible are OK when God does it.
    I would say that (c) is not worse than (a) and (b), in the sense if (a) and (b) can be excused, then (c) could also be excused. (c) is not lying. Or, if God says it, it isn’t lying, even if it doesn’t correspond to the ways things are (after all, we can find out about nature on our own).

  7. There must be something in the water up there in Wasilla. Perhaps a mind altering parasite contracted from the poo of all of those animals? And never mind the contradictions in Genesis (where all the answers are), what about the gospels? Just how many nights was Jesus in the tomb? Ethan, deny it all you want, Christianity is founded on contradiction.

  8. Ross Cameron

    You`ll get more sense out of arguing with a brick wall than debating a creationist. At least a brick wall listens to you. 🙂

  9. Ross Cameron

    Odd how ‘inspired’ doesn`t count when a believer start reading the OT and the punishments decreed by the Sky Guy.
    Concerned Xian:-‘Oops, better pick n choose a few lesser ones among them in case I get into trouble. Though I like the rape advice’.

  10. Thinking is a “wrong attitude.” Got it. I would like to ask how much thinking the Rev has done, but that would be unkind.

  11. @Ted Lawry:
    He has told us:
    The Bible alone is the final authority and must be obeyed. Why do we believe the Bible? We believe the Bible based upon evidence.
    (1) The Bible alone is the final authority.
    (2) We believe the Bible based upon evidence.
    So, what is the final authority, the Bible, or is the evidence what our belief is based on? “Presuppositional apologetics” (see Wikipedia e.g.) brings up this point and answers that the Bible is the final authority and the concept of evidence is based on the Bible.

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