Creationist Wisdom #777: Canadian Genius

Today’s second letter-to-the-editor appears in the Lethbridge Herald of Lethbridge, in the Canadian province of Alberta. It’s titled Evidence counters evolution, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is John. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Two hundred years ago nobody had ever heard of the evolution theory, not until Charles Darwin came up with the idea that everything came into existence by itself if you give it millions or billions of years to evolve, include every plant, animal, bird and even man. Now it is being taught in schools as if it is the truth, as if there is solid proof it really happened that way.

Two hundred years ago, Charles Darwin was 8 years old. We like it when the opening paragraph is truly idiotic. Then John says:

Many findings like fossils and different layers in the earth and mountains, and coal and oil deposits can be traced back to a big natural flood disaster, not even that many thousands of years ago.

The idiocy continues! John tells us:

Dinosaur bones have been found with still some soft tissue, supposedly 75 million years old; 4,400 years (from Noah’s flood) makes more sense.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! John is just getting started. This will amaze you:

Human bones found together with dinosaur bones and many other land and sea creatures can be found in fossil graveyards, like in the southern U.S. in the Ashley phosphate beds. It is proof that there must have been a catastrophic flood, and that man and dinosaurs lived and perished at the same time.

Wow! Wikipedia has an article on the Ashley Formation, but they don’t mention human fossils. We don’t find that claim at AIG or ICR either. Oh — it’s mentioned in this book: The Bible Is Right!: About Dinosaurs and Evolution! Let’s read on:

I like this one: live toads and frogs (in hibernation) found encased in limestone that is supposedly millions of years old.

Hibernating toads and frogs encased in limestone — still alive? Fantastic! Another excerpt:

Noah’s ark is where it is supposed to be, and has been on CNN years ago and in National Geographic news, proven according to the measurements. How does a 450-foot-long ship end up near the top of a mountain (Ararat), 4,000 metres above sea level? That is higher than the highest mountain in the Canadian Rockies, Mount Robson.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Noah’s ark has been found on Mt. Ararat! And now we come to the end:

Do evolution believers really think that the human eye evolved or developed by itself?

Well! That was truly an impressive letter.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #777: Canadian Genius

  1. Michael Fugate

    Forteana
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entombed_animal

    I wonder if John is interested in buying a bridge, cheap.

  2. Amazing to what lengths conmen will go to so as to keep the sheeple ignorant enough to keep giving them money!

  3. Ross Cameron

    Wash, rinse, repeat (ad nauseum)

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    Talk about opening your mouth and proving yourself a fool!

  5. Eric Lipps

    Ah, where to begin.

    Two hundred years ago nobody had ever heard of the evolution theory, not until Charles Darwin came up with the idea that everything came into existence by itself if you give it millions or billions of years to evolve, include every plant, animal, bird and even man.

    “The evolution theory,” in a very early form, was being bruited about by Lamarck and even Darwin’s grandfather.

    Now it is being taught in schools as if it is the truth, as if there is solid proof it really happened that way.

    Do I really need to respond to that? All right, I will: there is at least as much proof that evolution happened as there is that the Virgin Birth did. (Actually, there’s a lot more.) Yet I’m sure John the modern-day apostle believes in the latter.

    Noah’s ark is where it is supposed to be, and has been on CNN years ago and in National Geographic news, proven according to the measurements. How does a 450-foot-long ship end up near the top of a mountain (Ararat), 4,000 metres above sea level? That is higher than the highest mountain in the Canadian Rockies, Mount Robson.

    There is no evidence whatever that an actual ship has been found in that location. The only CNN story I could find had to do with the discovery of a 4,000-year-old cuneiform tablet bearing a version of the Noah story–and it doesn’t match the Genesis version.

    As for the National Geographic story, if it’s this one, it’s hardly convincing, since the alleged finders are a team of “evangelicals” (i.e., fundamentalists) and don’t seem to have provided any actual proof of their claim. Most people believe what they see; fundamentalists see what they want to believe.

  6. @Ed Lipps:
    There is at least as good reasons to accept common descent with modification in the world of life as there is for the Earth being a satellite of the Sun. And, on the contrary, as much in the Bible against the motion of the Earth as against evolution. The language of the Bible does not have the vocabulary to deny evolutionary biology.
    The Bible does not say that Noah’s Art landed on Mount Ararat. Indeed, that mountain got that name long after the Bible was completed.
    As far as seeing what one believes, for some people, that applies to what they see in the Bible as distinguished from what is in the Bible.

  7. Ross Cameron

    If Noah`s Ark was really on top of the mountain, some Turkish entrepreneur would be flogging bits of it on the Internet to gullible Xians

  8. John, your meds called. They miss you.

  9. John needs to cite his references. (Good luck with that, John…)

  10. Curmy, you nearly missed a self-published genius there!
    The Bible Is Right!: About Dinosaurs and Evolution! [ridiculous exclamation points, check]
    by James Edward Gilmer, Ph.D. [vanity title from irrelevant Psychology degree on cover page, check]
    AuthorHouse Publishing, 2013 [self-publishing venture, check]
    I think we have one here!

    Also, that quote about mixed human and dinosaur bones comes from Francis Simmons Holmes, curator of Charleston’s natural history museum… in 1870.

  11. Oh yeah, Amazon link:

  12. Uh, it was not really my intention to invoke WordPress magic to promote a nutcake here, sorry for that.

  13. @EricL: please look up Gen. 8:4. It talks about the mountains of Ararat. Plural. That Turkish mountain received its name slightly more than 1000 years ago. Those fundagelical fools are looking at the wrong place. Of course Turkey doesn’t mind as long as they bring in enough money.

  14. Draken says: “Curmy, you nearly missed a self-published genius there!”

    I only learn about them when the press releases show up in my news sweeps, and there haven’t been any press releases about that book yet. I stumbled on it when I searched for human fossils in the Ashley formation.

  15. mnbo notes that, in their search for Noah’s Ark,

    Those fundagelical fools are looking at the wrong place

    Indeed.

    But every place is the wrong place 🙂

  16. techreseller

    Talk about your rambling man. This guy was all over the map in that letter. Willful ignorance.

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