Creationist Wisdom #786: The Fact-Checker

Some of you may have wondered if creationism can ever make any useful contribution to society. The answer is in today’s letter-to-the-editor, which appears in the Sun Current, a free weekly newspaper in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. The title is Turtle warning’s fun fact is really a fun theory, and the newspaper has a comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Jake. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

I am interested in nature and was reading the June 22 paper. Under the community notes section there was an article entitled, “Turtles are searching for nesting grounds.”

We can’t find that earlier article, but it doesn’t matter. Jake says:

Part of it read, “A fun fact about turtles is that they evolved 200 million years ago and their shell has remained unchanged for millions of years.”

That’s what got Jake’s attention. He tells us:

Evolution is a theory; therefore, we cannot stay it is a fun fact. We can, however, call it a fun theory.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] Good point! Jake continues:

Part of the creation account in Genesis reads, “Then God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth creatures after their kind. Cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth after their kind;’ and it was so.”

That’s what it says, but what does it mean? Jake tells us:

This concludes that God spoke the turtles into existence. It happened around 6,000 years ago.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] So that’s what it means!

It’s a good thing that Jake reads the paper so attentively, and that he cares enough to write in when he sees an error. His letter ends politely:

The rest of the article was interesting and informative. Hopefully the community will read and heed it, and help turtles thrive in their part of the wild kingdom.

So there you are, dear reader. Now you know that a creationist can use his supernatural knowledge to provide a useful service. Well done, Jake! The newspaper won’t make that mistake again.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #786: The Fact-Checker

  1. It often puzzles me how the fundamentalists can cite the words of the Bible and then tell us that it says something other than what it literally says.
    The Bible literally says that the Earth brings forth living things.
    The interpreter tells us that God spoke them into existence.

  2. ALso see how he claims it is 6000yrs, and he knows this how???

  3. Let’s stay honest, guys. “God spoke the turtles into existence. It happened around 6,000 years ago.” is a fun theory, as this very site keeps on demonstrating.

  4. Ross Cameron

    As it says in the classics ‘And these people vote’.

  5. Possibly because I am in South Korea and not using a VPN, I cannot access the newspaper website. Anyone else having this problem?

  6. Trust me, it gets progressively worse if you go to the North.

    But I get a “Access from your area has been temporarily limited for security reasons” and our head of state is not known for testing nukes.

  7. Just another instance of an adult child being told what to think and say while being in total denial of science. It’s no wonder why we have so many climate change deniers in this country.

  8. I also tried to comment there yesterday. My comment has been in “Pending” state since then. (And my comment was a relatively mild one – The editor must be Jake’s friend.)

  9. Eric Lipps

    The problem arises when anyone uses Genesis, or any other book of the Bible, as a science text. When they do, they can say that yea, verily, God spake the turtles into existence, and they can guess based on the Genesis genealogies (which include lots of people living far longer than anyone has ever been documented to live) that the planet Earth is only around 6,000 years old.

    Of course, the Bible also tells us that our planet is a flat disk (see Isaiah 40:22). Isaac Asimov pointed this out in one of his essays, noting that a circle (“circle of the earth”) is not a sphere.

  10. We don’t have to resort to 20th century writers to point out difficulties with a literal reading of the Bible as far as nature. There is Origen in the 2nd-3rd centuries.
    But what perplexes me is how someone can get away with saying that they are basing their belief on solely a literal reading of the Bible, and then say that there was a large surge of micro-evolution within kinds which produced modern species in a few centuries after Noah’s Flood. That is clearly a product of modern human imagination.

  11. Simple, TomS – when a literalist interprets the Bible (necessary when it comes to the value of pi or the question why the bat is on a list of birds) it’s not interpretation but literal reading.

  12. Bible readers have been dealing with obvious poetic language from the beginning. If they want to call that literal, then let it be.
    My puzzlement arises with something like baraminology which I cannot imagine how anyone can find in the Bible. What is there in the Bible which says anything about goats and sheep belong to the same kind and became different by natural causes (evolution) after the Flood, and there is a barrier to further difference? The concepts involved are only derived (albeit distorted) from modern science.

  13. You may want to ask Frank Lewis Marsh.

    Or not, if you want to remain mentally healthy.