Creative Challenge #44: Creationist Similes

Untill we find some news that is worthy of this humble blog, we shall test your literary ability. We routinely present — and laugh at — the babbling of creationists as they criticize science and present their own ideas as being superior.

This is an endless source of entertainment, and it cries out for some creative description. What we’re looking for is a Simile (e.g.: nutty as a fruitcake, dumb as a bag of rocks). But you can do better than that.

The form of today’s challenge is that you must tell us, with reasonable brevity:

A creationist’s opinion about science is like … .

You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.

There may not be a winner of this contest, but if there is, your Curmudgeon will decide, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

32 responses to “Creative Challenge #44: Creationist Similes

  1. “A creationist’s opinion about science is like …”
    a tonedeaf person’s opinion about Mozart.

  2. “A creationist’s opinion about science is like … .”
    a Dutch toddlers’ opinion about Dostojevsky.

  3. “A creationist’s opinion about science is like … .”
    my opinion about what the 40th Century will look like.

  4. “A creationist’s opinion about science is like
    a bowl of cherry-picked bible verses.”

  5. I refuse to compare the intelligence of creationists to that of a box or rocks!!! It is insulting…to the box of rocks!!!

  6. I could come with a few Creationist Simians, perhaps…

  7. You gotta try harder! Try this for inspiration: A creationist’s opinion about science is like guano-flavored ice cream.

  8. A creationist’s opinion of science is like …
    a misogynist’s opinion of women.

  9. The Curmudgeon: “You gotta try harder!” Try this . . .

    Oops — it seems our collective failure was avoiding the nonsensical.

    Perhaps we took our challenge too seriously?

  10. A creationist’s opinion of science is like … a pedophile’s opinion of pre-teens.

  11. A creationist’s opinion of science is mutual.

  12. A creationist’s opinion about science is like a Melanesian’s view on a C-47 Skytrain.

  13. I suggest that SC ask Arrrggh (whatever the spelling), and you will be told “…like a human’s understanding of smells”.

  14. …like a NASCAR driver’s opinion of carbon footprints.

  15. jimroberts

    I would be tempted to say, like a child’s opinion of science. But a two year old visited my house, looked at a candlestick and said, “Before that green candle, you had a red one.”
    Ken Hamm, you lose.

  16. A creationist’s opinion about science is like a screen door on a submarine.

  17. A creationist’s opinion about science is like a tweet from Trump: fatuous, self-obsessed, and full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

  18. jimroberts

    Er, Ham?

  19. A creationist’s opinion about science is like a fart in a spacesuit.

  20. Michael Fugate

    A creationist’s opinion about science is like tits on a boar hog.
    like navels on Adam and Eve.
    like Ham’s Ark.

  21. A creationist’s opinion of science is like … an illiterate’s opinion of book l’arnin’.

  22. “A creationist’s opinion about science is like …”
    our dear SC explaining socialism.

  23. Ceteris Paribus

    A creationist’s opinion about science is like –
    The Wicked Witch of the West’s opinion of Dorothy’s little dog Toto ,
    [except the whole Wizard of Oz story was just intended for laughs and giggles.]

  24. A creationist’s opinion about science is like … The Curmudgeon casting his vote for Trump. Sad.

  25. … like the Pope’s opinion of sex

  26. A creationist’s opinion about science is like a blind man’s opinion of the Mona Lisa.

  27. …like a measles virus’ opinion on the cause autism.

  28. A creationist’s opinion about science is like …

    ” . . . like something someone says to you while you are listening very hard to the FM radio, some rock group there, with its thrilling sound, and so, with your attention or the major part of it at least already rewarded, there is not much mind room you can give to the remark, especially considering that you have probably just quarreled with that person, the maker of the remark, over the radio being too loud, or something like that, and the view you take, of the remark, is that you’d really rather not hear it, but if you have to hear it, you want to listen to it for the smallest possible length of time, and during a commercial, because immediately after the commercial they’re going to play a new rock song by your favorite group, a cut that has never been aired before, and you want to hear it and respond to it in a new way, a way that accords with whatever you’re feeling at the moment, or might feel, if the threat of new experience could be (temporarily) overbalanced by the promise of possible positive benefits, or what the mind construes as such, remembering that these are often, really, disguised defeats . . . “

  29. (ps: music = bible, “remark” = science)

  30. @Tom B
    Good one!

  31. …cat deposits in a litter box.

  32. Steve Gerrard

    A creationist’s opinion about science is like Trump recommending a barber.

Make a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s