Eclipse Mania — The Discoveroids, Part 1

Everybody knows about the eclipse scheduled for 21 August. When there was nothing else to blog about, we mentioned it in Solar Eclipse Free Fire Zone, and gave you a link to NASA’s page where they have dozens of links to information.

The Discovery Institute doesn’t have enough to do in their crusade to replace evolution with their theory of intelligent design. Now they’re jumping on the eclipse bandwagon. They actually want to be your go-to website for eclipse information. The latest post at their creationist blog is The Great American Total Solar Eclipse of 2017. It has no author’s byline. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

With less than three weeks to go, anticipation and excitement are building for the August 21 total solar eclipse.

Yeah, they’re really excited at Discoveroid headquarters — in their dingy offices above a gym in a bad part of Seattle. Then they say:

Here at Evolution News [their creationist blog] we are planning a series of posts leading up to and including the day of the eclipse.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] How thoughtful of them! They tell us:

We will cover the history of solar eclipses and their scientific importance, as well as ASTRO 101 primers on their mechanics and safe viewing methods.

All of that information is at the NASA website. They actually give a link to NASA at the very end of their post. So why would anyone go to the Discoveroids for eclipse information? Even the map above their post came from NASA. We recognize it because we used it in our post. They continue:

Wait, did we leave something out? Oh yes, we will also cover the intelligent design aspects of solar eclipses!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, that’s something you won’t find anywhere else. We’ll be monitoring their blog as a source of eclipse entertainment.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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10 responses to “Eclipse Mania — The Discoveroids, Part 1

  1. So if the eclipse is intelligently designed, then those cities that will not see the eclipse must have deemed unworthy and cast out of favor.
    And by extension, the capital of my home state, Columbia S.C. which we compared to hell on Earth (“a snowball’s chance in Columbia in August”), will have the longest eclipse time and is the new Mecca.
    Who knew

  2. To be sure the Discoveroids will have their firecrackers, vuvuzelas, pots and pans and of course, their tin hats to make noises and scare away the moon so that the sun will reappear in the sky! Tin hats are the dress of the day and all are intelligently designed creations:

  3. Tom B notes that his native South Carolina has been

    compared to hell on Earth (“a snowball’s chance in Columbia in August”)

    Having driven from Charleston to Rock Hill one August a few years back, I was particularly amused by all the BRIDGE ICES BEFORE ROAD signs on I-77. Surely, I thought, they should read HELL FREEZES BEFORE THIS BRIDGE.

    But my (British-born) Better Half found even greater amusements in all the signs promoting a local dance that shares the same name as common UK slang for coitus. Her jaw dropped on first seeing a sign adversting SHAG LESSONS, and went into hysterics over a billboard promoting EASTLAND MALL: The Place for Shoppin’ and Shaggin’!

  4. Eddie Janssen

    Design 1: Sun and Moon have the same diameter seen from earth
    Design 2: This happened at the right time, now that humans have appeared on earth (sorry YECs, sometimes the tent is not big enough, you are spoiling a brilliant argument)
    Design 3: I can’t think of other Design aspects. Anyone?

  5. Eddie Janssen

    Well, maybe.
    Design 3: The Designer waited to organize an eclipse in America until Donald Trump was president.

  6. The only reference to eclipses in the Bible that I can think of are tokens of disaster.

  7. Michael Fugate

    If there were no total eclipses, would the DI eschew belief in design and God?

  8. How do you guys mean, total eclipse? Nothing will happen where I live.

  9. The Designer used to manage much better eclipses than this short one over part of the USA:
    Luke 23:44 And it was about the sixth hour, and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. 45 And the sun was darkened

    Three hours of darkened sun over the whole earth! It’s a pity that can only work properly for a flat earth.

  10. There are several Biblical passages which refer to the whole Earth which are clearly hyperbole. Only one (that I am aware of) which the YECs insist on interpreting it literally.