Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Tim Johnson, pastor of the Countryside Baptist Church of Kingman, Indiana. We’ll give you a few excerpts from rev’s column, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
After discussing how textbooks have changed, the rev says:
In the early years of America, there was a textbook that never changed but was always correct – it was called the Bible. Noah Webster, the fellow that wrote the dictionary, is credited with saying, “The Bible was America’s basic textbook in all fields.” The Bible was often the only book a family had, and therefore, the children brought a Bible as their “reader.” The first textbooks were filled with Bible quotes to prove their points, pass on logic, common sense and a moral base to the next generation. … Does the Bible teach the core subjects taught in school? Let’s look.
Then the rev visits several school subjects and discusses their treatment in the bible. He says:
• Math – In the first chapter of the Bible the word “divided” is used twice and the word “multiply” is used three times. Right out of the gate, the Bible gives practical examples of the mathematical principles of multiplication and division. For those of a more liberal mindset, the command to multiply in Genesis chapter one can easily lead to sex education as Adam and Eve were told to “be fruitful and multiply.” There is math all over the Bible as the nation of Israel is counted, Christ and the feeding of the 5,000 and the parable of the hundred sheep, just to name a few.
He’s right. There’s plenty of math in the bible. But for some reason, the rev doesn’t mention The Scriptural Value Of Pi. After that he tells us:
• Reading – Learning to read using the Bible would not be difficult at all. Since we already mentioned Genesis one and because it is the first chapter we will use it as an example. There is only one word in the chapter’s 31 verses that contains more than three syllables. The word abundantly – which can also teach a mathematical principle – appears in verse 21.
Can’t argue with that! He continues:
• Social Studies – The outline of American government is given in Isaiah 33:22, “For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; he will save us.” Before I go any further, I must say, it is God that will save us not the government, but in this one verse we do see the three branches of our government. We have a president, not a king, but this is the executive branch, we have a judge; of course, this is the judicial branch or the Supreme Court. Lastly, we have the lawgiver, which is the legislative branch consisting of the House of Representatives and the Senate.
We respectfully disagree with the rev. We’ve pointed out several times before that there is no democracy in the bible — it’s all about theocratic monarchy — on Earth as it is in Heaven. Hamilton and Madison, who explained the Constitution clause-by-clause in the Federalist Papers, did so totally without scriptural references. That’s because there was no scriptural basis for concepts like a decentralized federal republic, a two-house legislature, limited government with enumerated powers, representation based on population, checks and balances, prohibiting religious qualifications for holding office, allowing secular oaths, and providing that a man-made Constitution was the supreme law of the land.
Let’s read on: This is where the rev’s letter really gets good:
• Science – Isaiah wrote in chapter 40 of his book, roughly 2,200 years before Columbus sailed the ocean blue, that the world is round, “It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth…” (Isaiah 40:22).
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We explained that often misquoted passage, and gave dozens of others contradicting the rev’s claim in The Earth Is Flat!
But wait — there’s even more science in the bible. Here’s another excerpt:
The constellations Orion and Pleiades are mentioned by name more than once (Job 9:9; 38:31; Amos 5:8). Dinosaurs are called by the names Leviathan (Job 41:1; Psalms 74:14; 104:6; Isaiah 27:1) and Behemoth (Job 40:15). Behemoth, from his description in Job 40 is most likely a brontosaurus, while Leviathan is a sea creature.
Wowie — it’s all there! What more could anyone want? And now we come to the end:
Well, that is enough school for today. Grab your Bible and “study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth,” 2 Timothy 2:15.
Are you persuaded, dear reader? If so, start complaining to your school board that they’re wasting money on textbooks. All we need is the bible.
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