Rev. David Rives — The Eclipse Is a Gift

We had shut off the Drool-o-tron™ because of the coming eclipse, but for some reason we switched it back on. It immediately alerted us with its sirens and flashing lights. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND). The Drool-o-tron™ had once again found the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

Our computer was locked onto this headline at WND: Solar eclipses: Random coincidence or God’s design? The actual title of the rev’s video is “Solar Eclipse: God’s Design.”

The rev tells us that although the Sun is 400 times bigger than the moon, it’s 400 times further away, so they appear the same size. No other planet in the solar system has total eclipses, and we’re here just at the right time to see them. Wowie! Is that an accident?

No! In Genesis, we read that God created the Sun, the Moon and the Earth. What better way could there be to declare His glory? The eclipse is a gift from our creator.

The rev is wearing his dark blue bible-boy suit, and he’s the cutest rev you’ve ever seen! The video is less than 3 minutes long before the commercial at the end. Go ahead, click over to WND and watch it.

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “Rev. David Rives — The Eclipse Is a Gift

  1. The Orchardist

    Pity the moon is moving slowly away from Earth. That’s going to mess up things eventually.

  2. Then I suppose that that piece of fruit Adam and Eve ate was also a divine gift – it gave humans the intellectual power to find out that the Sun is 400 times as large as the Moon and is 400 times as far away. Also without A and E doing so there would not have been a Good Rev to explain to us the great gifts from his god.
    Makes me wonder why Adam, Eve and offspring couldn’t stay in the Garden of Eden but got kicked out.
    I also wonder why that fantastiwastic god of the Good Rev couldn’t have arranged the history of our Universe in such a way that both evolution and the receding Moon so nicely coincided that he could drool about it. Was such fine-tuning perhaps beyond divine powers according to the Good Rev?
    Yup – once again an excellent video. I even made it beyond the usual one and a half minute.

  3. When the idiot Davies explains the wonder and awesomeness of the eye eating parasite, I’ll listen to him about is ahole gawd!

  4. When a denier of evolution explains anything.
    For example, the supposed design of the laws of nature to make life on Earth impossible.

  5. Nothing is greater proof that notions of ‘white supremacy’ are utterly false than the ‘white supremacists’ themselves.

    I am now grateful that my late father–a proud Southerner, WWII veteran, and deeply conservative Republican–did not live to see a POTUS who can delude himself that anyone marching with neo-Nazis, Klansman and Anti-Semites in Charlottesville could be counted among ‘fine people.’

    That is not a President nor an America he would recognise–and increasingly, neither do I.

  6. Megalonyx criticizes:

    a POTUS who can delude himself that anyone marching with neo-Nazis, Klansman and Anti-Semites in Charlottesville could be counted among ‘fine people.’

    I can’t defend Trump’s statement because I would never march with those people, but there is much to be said in favor of not taking down a statue of General Lee. His family was not only one of the most illustrious in Virginia, he was also an American patriot. His father was one of Washington’s generals. His wife was Martha Washington’s granddaughter. Her plantation, Arlington, was once part of Washington’s Mt. Vernon property. He was offered a command by both sides, and he agonized over it. Finally deciding that he couldn’t make war on Virginia, he prevailed on his wife to emancipate Arlington’s slaves, so it would be clear that he wasn’t fighting for slavery. Only then did he accept an appointment as head of the Army of Northern Virginia.

    When the South was defeated, the Federals confiscated Arlington and the Lees were left penniless. Nevertheless, even in defeat, he urged his fellow Southerners to accept the situation and live at peace with their Northern countrymen. Lee was certainly no racist Klansman. Albeit on the wrong side, he was a great general and he symbolizes the tragedy of the War.

  7. General Lee a patriot? He fought against the United States of America. He tried to destroy this country. How exactly does that make him a patriot?

  8. “His family was not only one of the most illustrious in Virginia, he was also an American patriot. His father was one of Washington’s generals. His wife was Martha Washington’s granddaughter. Her plantation, Arlington, was once part of Washington’s Mt. Vernon property.”
    Nothing of this speaks in favour of General Lee. It speaks in favour of his family, patriotism is not by definition a good thing, it speaks in favour of his father, his wife and her plantation.

  9. “His family was not only one of the most illustrious in Virginia, he was also an American patriot.”
    Again, how can he be an american patriot when he went to war against the United States of America?

  10. Our Curmudgeon suggests

    there is much to be said in favor of not taking down a statue of General Lee

    Until very recently, I would have agreed with you.

    FWIW: my own great-great grandfather–and he really was named Martin V. Darwin–was a Lieutenant in the 12th South Carolina Volunteers, serving under Lee’s ANV from its inception through to Appomattox, taking a bad wound to his right arm at 2nd Manassas along the way. Three of his brothers also served, two of them surviving the war. And yes, the family had owned slaves prior to the war, and yes, they lost most of their land and wealth in the immediate aftermath. Plenty of Southern families have pretty much the same tale to tell of their own family histories–all narratives in the bigger sweep of American history. And the Civil War is a fascinating chapter in that history, not only interesting in its own right but vital to understanding how we became the nation we are.

    And yes, Lee, though reflecting some of the faults of his time and place (as do we all) is a fascinating character worthy of study; there is much to admire and respect, as you have outlined. Though I might add in passing: Lee himself wanted no monuments–but that is by the by.

    And at the end of the war, Lt. M.V. Darwin signed an oath of loyalty to the (re-)United States of America, and his descendants would serve, honourably, under the American flag in every conflict since that time.

    Now, if it could all have been left at that–a chapter in history–that would have been one thing. The spate of Confederate monument making in the South was mostly in the 20th century and as much a passive-aggressive snook at the Federal government as anything else, but no matter–we’ve all moved on.

    Or have we? If you really want to dishonour Robert E. Lee, then adopting him as a pin-up for today’s neo-Nazis and ‘white supremacists’ is far, far more of an outrage than taking down statues from the Jim Crow era. It is the KKK and their ilk who have rendered emblems of the Confederacy too toxic anymore to represent ‘heritage, not hate’; that’s lamentable, but I fear probably now irrevocable–rather like the swastika, an ancient religious icon, is now indeliably defiled and cannot be rehabilitated.

    For an interesting perspective on the specific issue of Confederate statues, see An open letter from the great-great-grandsons of Stonewall Jackson.

    But let’s be honest: it’s not about a statue in Charlottesville (what statues they put up or take down is surely a matter of the citizens there to determine), still less about the historical Robert E. Lee. It is entirely about a reactionary and violent fringe of domestic fascists, with a deeply anti-American and anti-democratic agenda, who are feeling particularly emboldened at the moment by the dog-whistle encouragement coming out of the White House.

    Can you imagine the reaction if, let’s suppose, Chancellor Merkel were to off-handedly say something along the lines of, “Hitler and Nazism were bad, sure, but y’know, some Jews were also bad–and wealthy–so y’know, there was good and bad on both sides of the Holocaust.” One could argue such a statement was ‘true’–even though it is an utterly grotesque representation.

  11. Where are the conservative Bible Christians complaining about graven images?

  12. @TomS: some of them were marching with Tiki torches…

  13. Michael Fugate

    Here is a timeline of Confederate memorials:
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/aug/16/confederate-monuments-civil-war-history-trump
    Notice that Plessy 1896 opened the floodgates to increased segregation and the 50th anniversary of the defeat led to a boatload of memorials.
    The Charlottesville Lee statue was dedicated in 1924 – I wonder why so late?

  14. I’m not keen on removing statues, I suppose it is OK if some are moved to a museum, but it is important to remember they are works of art. What is going on reminds me of the Taliban destroying statues of Buddha in Afghanistan (and Muslims destroying “idols” in general).
    Robert E. Lee was a “man of his time”. He also has a lot of revisionist touch-ups to smooth off his rough edges. I suspect SC’s anecdote “he prevailed on his wife to emancipate Arlington’s slaves, so it would be clear that he wasn’t fighting for slavery” is such an attempt to reinvent the war as an attempt for state’s rights rather than slavery. The most likely scenario isn’t quite so flattering: Lee’s father-in-law wanted the slaves freed in his will, but Lee insisted that they remained slaves until the debts of the estate were settled. It is low hanging fruit to recast Lee into a selfless hero of the lost cause.
    Robert E. Lee was graceful in defeat, that in itself should yield some respect. It is a bit absurd to impose 21st century values on a 19th century person. I’d also submit Lee wasn’t a “traitor”, before the Civil War one’s loyalty was more to one’s state.

  15. @Megalonyx

    Good words. Thanks.

  16. I understand the reluctance to destroy the statues, as you explain it.
    Of course, there could be a movement to pair each of those statues with statues of Lincoln, Grant, Sherman,J.Q.Adams, Louisa May Alcott, Frederick Douglass, Dred Scott, …

  17. Troy says: “He [Lee] also has a lot of revisionist touch-ups to smooth off his rough edges.”

    Lee didn’t have rough edges. During the war, he proposed a program of emancipation so that blacks could join the army and fight for independence. The government rejected his proposal.

  18. Michael Fugate

    Or we could just get rid of them all. We humans are well human and tend to be flawed in some way or another. We also don’t work alone. We need parents and teachers, spouses and children, friends, colleagues and assistants to do what we do. The “great man” view of history is a failure in so many ways.

  19. Billy Graham’s daughter joins in on behalf of the evangelicals:
    For Some Reason, The Religious Right Is Looking For A Boost From The Eclipse
    http://au.org/blogs/wall-of-separation/for-some-reason-the-religious-right-is-looking-for-a-boost-from-the-eclipse

  20. While no one can know for sure if judgment is coming on America, it does seem that God is signaling us about something. Time will tell what that something is.
    God is not able, or not willing, to tell us what that something is.
    It could be that somewhere in the path of that shadow, someone will discover the cure for cancer. Or the shadow will allow someone to see the sign of extraterrestrial life. Or it could mean something about American politics.
    We know that the eclipse will happen. It has been known before any of us was born, so it isn’t coming because of anything we have done. And it doesn’t tell us what we’re supposed to do about it.
    What we do know is that something is going to happen.
    For that message, God designed the Solar System thousands of years ago to make it happen precisely here and now.

  21. Our Curmudgeon suggests

    Lee didn’t have rough edges.

    You undermine your case here by overstating it. History is not a comic book of flawless Superheroes vs. Fiendish Arch Villains —though that’s certainly how it is sometimes presented in High School and Presidential tweets.
    I readily agree (others may not) that there was a great deal in Lee that was admirable and deserving of respect; that does not mean that he was without fault (and who among us–apart, of course, from my Olivia–is perfect?).

    During the war, he proposed a program of emancipation so that blacks could join the army and fight for independence. The government rejected his proposal.

    You oversimplify here to the point of distortion and revisionism–but the topic is too lengthy and out of scope for this blog to pursue. But even in the short form you’ve offered here, does that really sound in any meaningful sense ‘enlightened’ rather than simple (and rather cynical) military expediency? And this is hardly redemptive of Lee’s decision (however agonising it may have initially been) to place his undoubted military genius in the service of that same Confederate government—which also refused to include black Union soldiers in the programme of parole and exchange, leading to the breakdown of that system &c &c

    But again: the issue here isn’t about the historical Lee. As I previously noted, until very recently I would have heartily agreed with your contention “there is much to be said in favor of not taking down a statue of General Lee.” But let me be more specific: my disagreement with you on this point can be dated to June 2015 and the cold-blooded murder of 9 church-goers in Charleston SC by a white racist who liked to pose draped in the Confederate battle flag which, at that time, was still flown outside the Statehouse in Columbia SC. The widespread revulsion at that crime led—and rightly, in my view—to removing that flag therefrom, on the grounds one could no longer defend it as a simple token of Southern ‘heritage’ (whatever that really meant) but held an active and deeply toxic association with modern white supremacism that has no place in a decent society. And the constitution (even if framers had their share of flaws) was fashioned out the values of the Enlightenment, not fascistic notions of ‘blood and soil.’

    Were ‘white supremacy’ only a topic found in the history books, then Confederate emblems and statues would not be an issue. But that is not—yet–the case: see this item from just last month about the Confederate flag will — temporarily — fly again at South Carolina Statehouse. At least, I was glad to learn therein that the abbreviation in “S.C. Secessionist Party” stands for South Carolina rather than your good self!

    OK, back to the important business of mocking Creationists… 🙂

  22. And if I have to read one more time: only Earth has total eclipses. This is not true of course – Jupiter enjoys eclipses of Io often and we have pictures to prove it. What they probably mean is: only one to have total and annular eclipses (and I don’t have the wherewithal to work out if that is the case).

  23. Apologies—but one further thought has occurred for this old IFFZ thread. I’ll endeavour to shut up after this one!

    Consider: it’s an outrage—an outrage, I tell you—that thousands upon thousands of American Loyalists, who stayed faithful to the British Crown during the American War of Independence, have been cruelly expunged from the historical record! Most were decent, law-abiding folk who would have no truck with outright sedition; some lost their lives to the mob, many lost their property, and most ended up having to flee for Canada or the West Indies.

    OK, so they were on the losing side—but why no statues of General Benedict Arnold in the US? After all, there is a commemorative plaque for him in London.

    …The point I’m trying to make: why is it that no one in the US is the slightest perturbed if a neighbour flies a British Union Jack outside their home? Why is no one calling for American place names which commemorate British monarchs, who held the Colonies in such savage bondage (let’s use the High School comic book history text here), to be changed?

    Because nobody is still fighting the American War of Independence.

    When the same can be said of the American Civil War—and that means,inter alia, no more reactionary idiots deriving succour from a President who not only demands adulation but happily accepts it from any quarter willing to proffer the same—then we can talk meaningfully about history, and appreciate its lessons.