Eclipse, Eclipse! Aaaargh!

The Scream by Edvard Munch

This is the big day — if you’re in the US. It’s unlikely that there will be any other news of interest, so this may be our only post today. If some predictions are correct, it may even be our last!

Your Curmudgeon is a safe distance from the dreaded path of totality, but even that isn’t safe enough, so we’ll stay in our underground headquarters until the infernal event is over. That should be sufficient protection, but you never know.

If you’re reckless enough to be outside when the Sun vanishes from view, you’re doomed! You think those silly eclipse glasses will save you? You fool! Nothing can save you! Haven’t you had enough warnings?

Feel free to use the comments to tell us about your eclipse preparations and experiences — as long as you can, that is. If the creationist preachers are right and this is indeed The End of the World, then …

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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11 responses to “Eclipse, Eclipse! Aaaargh!

  1. Here’s an amusing letter-to-the editor: We must view the total eclipse for the omen it is . One quote should be enough:

    Americans are wrongly excited about seeing the total solar eclipse that goes across America because it’s a warning sign from God of coming judgment and not entertainment and a reason to celebrate. … God is putting a bull’s eye on America and may bring judgment such as great earthquakes and tsunami.

  2. Michael Fugate

    “God is putting a bull’s eye on America and may bring judgment such as great earthquakes and tsunami.”

    And then again God may not – not much of a prophet if you have to hedge your bets.

  3. Michael Fugate

    O mighty hand, I may have screwed up an html tag in my previous post or it may have been a sign of God or it may be the eclipse just made everything darker?

    [*Voice from above*] All is well, my son.

  4. Jonsimmons2015

    How can it be an omen of anything when astronomers can exactly predict these events years and decades in advance? It’s just idiocy.

  5. Derek Freyberg

    Well, I guess here near Babylon by the Bay we are going to be safe, because it’s cloudy (9:22 a.m. PDT), and we won’t be able to view our coming fate.

  6. I confidently predict that something will happen!

  7. Michael Fugate

    Ed Mazza,HuffPost
    Bryan Fischer, host of a Christian radio show called “Focal Point,” posted on Facebook that the Bible states the sun and moon serve as “signs.”

    Then, he attempted to interpret those signs like a fortune teller.

    “This is a metaphor, or a sign, of the work of the Prince of Darkness in obscuring the light of God’s truth,” he wrote, adding, “Satan, and those who unwittingly serve as his accomplices by resisting the public acknowledgement of God and seeking to repress the expression of Christian faith in our land, are bringing on us a dark night of the national soul.”

    Fischer, whose radio show claims to be “the home of muscular Christianity,” called on his followers to “fight the darkness that we may return this nation to an unapologetic acknowledgement and embrace of the God of the Founders and his transcendent standard for human behavior as enshrined in the Ten Commandments.”

    He included a disclaimer that he did not, in fact, receive a “revelation from God” related to the eclipse but his post was instead “an effort to ponder this sign in the heavens and speculate as to its possible spiritual implications.”

  8. Well if the magic sky fairy did go through so much trouble to “fine tune” the moon and sun sizes for a “perfect” eclipse, the least he could have done is hold back the clouds so I could see the damn thing.
    Anybody want to buy a pair of eclipse glasses for cheap?

  9. Reflections on the Eclipse

    The eclipse brought to mind Jerry Seinfeld’s comments on magic acts:

    “I don’t think anything competes with a magic act for humiliating entertainment value. What is the point of the magician? He comes on, he fools you, you feel stupid, show’s over.

    “You never know what’s actually happened. It’s never explained. And that’s kind of the attitude the magician seems to have as he’s performing.

    “It’s like, ‘Here’s a quarter, it’s gone, you’re an idiot, it’s back, you’re a jerk, show’s over….'”

  10. Ross Cameron

    Face the fact that these charlatans wouldn`t keep their flocks if they didn`t keep scaring the pants off them.

  11. Mike McCants

    “If you’re reckless enough to be outside when the Sun vanishes from view, you’re doomed!”
    Everyone dies sooner or later, but a total eclipse is a wonderful and memorable experience! Success in western Nebraska for us.