Creationist Wisdom #804: The Deacon Returns

Today’s letter-to-the-editor, like an earlier one from the same writer — see #794: The Deacon — appears in the Fillmore County Journal of Preston, Minnesota, population 1,325, known as “America’s Trout Capital.” It’s titled Creation alone!, and the newspaper has a comments feature.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we have a deacon of the Greenleafton Reformed Church. Technically a deacon isn’t a preacher, so we’ll use only his first name, which is Aaron. We’ll give you some excerpts from the deacon’s new letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Athiests [sic] or evolutionists who flat out reject God and Creation is one thing, God have mercy on them and open their blind eyes, but what is worse yet is that there are now many “professing Christians” who are trying to mingle evolution with creation. Evolution is the Devil’s work, it’s no different than when he said to Eve, “hath God said?”

Yes, those who mingle evolution with creation are the worst! The deacon says:

If you take a hard stand against evolution you will be rebuked by “professing Christians” for it. They say, “Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I have to reject science.” What they mean is, “I can believe in evolution and in God.” Yes, the demons also believe in the one God and tremble.

Well said! After that he tells us:

I believe that they use the term “don’t have to reject science” rather than “I can believe in God and in evolution” because the latter is just a little too obvious that they really don’t believe in the “Sovereign” Creator God that the Bible testifies of.

Yeah, those sneaky people aren’t fooling the deacon. He continues:

Also, you can’t believe in evolution and God because evolution is the Devil trying to sabotage God’s work and you can’t serve God and the Devil. You serve God or the Devil.

He right — it’s one or the other. Let’s read on:

If you are one who is standing up for Christ and His infallible word and are experiencing push back and hostility from people all around you, even professing Christians; take courage brother, take courage sister, “Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven.” (Matthew 5;12) And also Brethren, thank God that we have His Word for a firm and steadfast foundation so that we don’t have to be blown about by the wind of every strange doctrine that comes along.

Especially a strange doctrine like evolution! Another excerpt:

If you are one of those who are mingling evolution with creation, you are doing the Devil’s work and I would be doing you, and God, a disservice to tell you otherwise. I don’t know if you never were a real Christian or if you are a backsliden Christian. Either way God is inviting you back to Himself.

After a bunch of bible quotes, he finishes with this:

[I]t will be like in the days of Noah. Noah’s ark is a type of Christ and just like Noah’s ark, people had opportunity to come into the ark but they refused until the door was shut and it was too late. Friend, the door is open right now. [Bible quote.] Don’t wait for a convenient time, because that time will never come.

So there you are, dear reader. It’s not too late to abandon evolution. You gotta do it. The deacon says there are no compromises.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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23 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #804: The Deacon Returns

  1. Someone should tell the deacon that his backsliden brothers and sisters down at Reformed Calvin College are some of the main voices doing Satan’s bidding, freely mixing evolution and faith.

  2. Michael Fugate

    I didn’t see a single Bible verse proclaiming either evolution or science is wrong. This seems to be Aaron’s personal fantasy. I wonder if he checks under his bed for demons after saying his prayers.

  3. Nothing pushes us into the 14th century like dimwitted religious nutjobs!

  4. Yes, while the Bible does not even mention evolution, neither to reject it or to accept it, the Bible does say this near the conclusion:

    For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:
    And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
    Revelation 22:18-19

    The Bible does not say anything about the relationships between different forms of life:, whether they are related by common descent, or any other way, or not at all. The Bible certainly doesn’t make any distinction between micro-evolution and macro-evolution. The Bible is so distant about talking about details of life that it does not even mention the majority of life: the microbes.

  5. Michael Fugate

    Aaron no doubt believes demons are the cause of mental illness – why use science when exorcism is the proper tool? Just make sure to have pigs handy.

  6. I came across this resource about the reading level of various Bibles. I have no idea of the reliability of the source, but it does suggest an answer to a common question of mine.
    The King James version is rated at being at the 12th grade level – that is at the level of a secondary school graduate.
    This means that a lot of people cannot read the Bible with understanding.
    This means that they have to rely on what someone tells them what the Bible says.

  7. Ross Cameron

    While researching Delusion and any possible cures, I came upon this from a professional website at https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4173112/ where they state ‘believing oneself to be able to hear the voice of Jesus is not uncommon in a Christian society and thus would not in itself be classified as a religious delusion’. Don`t know about others here, but if someone told me they hear the voice of Jesus, I would definately classify them as having a delusion.

  8. Michael Fugate

    I always wonder why the Biblical literalists manage not to follow Jewish law. Jesus claimed that he wasn’t there to abolish the law and by all accounts was an observant Jew. Ark Encounter is open on Sundays – blasphemy!

  9. Dave Luckett

    Ross Cameron, one should keep the old aphorism in mind, here: “If you talk to God, you’re religious; if God talks to you, you’re crazy”.

  10. The deacon tells us “Evolution is the Devil’s work”. Damn, I didn’t know the devil was such a good scientist! And @Deve Luckett: I had not heard that aphorism before, but it sure is appropriate. Thanks.

  11. [I]t will be like in the days of Noah. Noah’s ark is a type of Christ and just like Noah’s ark, people had opportunity to come into the ark but they refused until the door was shut and it was too late. Friend, the door is open right now. [Bible quote.] Don’t wait for a convenient time, because that time will never come.

    Just imagine if all those people had tried to jam into the Ark. Can’t creationists think at all? No, never mind; the question answers itself.

  12. I can recall when rock and roll was the Devil’s music.

  13. Michael Fugate

    Given all the Christian rock groups, I wonder if Deacon Aaron would say “Also, you can’t listen to rock music and believe in God because rock music is the Devil trying to sabotage God’s work and you can’t serve God and the Devil. You serve God or the Devil.”

  14. Dave Luckett

    I don’t remember – I’m not that old – but I seem to recall that ragtime was also described as the devil’s music, because syncopation. I can only quote General William Booth, in a slightly different context, who enquired, “Why should the devil have all the good tunes?”

  15. Ceteris Paribus

    Friends, I’m here to tell you that I now do believe the wisdom of Deacon Aaron, and am fixing to change my ways. What the Deacon says about there being only two paths is the gospel truth. Right and Wrong. You see, there’s only but 2 genders (one for the men folk and one for the female folk). And while there’s two legs in every pair of pants, our common sense plainly shows that we can’t even get both of our legs into the pants except one leg at a time. Only a fool or demon would try to jump up in the air and expect to get both legs in at the same time. You have to start by first picking one leg or the other. And woe to you who chose the wrong order!

    Kindly think on that wisdom and reform yourself. I’m still studying on the Deacon Aaron’s methodology, and expect to ask his advice as to whether we can have biscuits AND gravy for breakfast, or should settle for just biscuits OR gravy.

  16. “You serve God or the Devil.”
    Or neither.

  17. No it is not about “Christ and His infallible word”; it is about Deacon Aaron and his infallible word. Some of us, believers or not, can tell the difference

  18. The Deacon is on shaky ground in comparing the teaching of evolution to the serpent’s suggestion to Eve that she and Adam would not die the day that they ate the magic apple: as we know, they went on to have very long lives and (presumably many) sons and daughters.

  19. @jimroberts: “she and Adam would not die the day that they ate the magic apple”
    You are wrong! As God experiences time, a thousand years is as a day. So although Adam and (presumably) Eve lived for the best part of a thousand years, in God’s eyes they died the same day they ate the magic apple.

  20. @Michael Fugate: “I wonder if he checks under his bed for demons after saying his prayers.”

    Well, he’d be a fool to check before, now wouldn’t he?

  21. Michael Fugate

    I think he would be a fool either way, no?

  22. I am reminded of the ageing spinster who first locks her bedroom door, then checks whether there is a rapist hiding under her bed.

  23. Mark Germano

    “… people had opportunity to come into the ark but they refused until the door was shut and it was too late.”

    I couldn’t find that part of the story in the Bible. However, I found a number of references on the internet of the wicked in the story seeking to repent but it being too late. But, it doesn’t seem that God offered forgiveness to them at any time.