Water Is Proof of Intelligent Design

It’s remarkable to see how far the Discovery Institute has fallen since the days when Casey Luskin would at least try to present arguments for intelligent design. That stuff was amusing. But look what they’re posting now at their creationist blog: Water, Ultimate Giver of Life, Points to Intelligent Design.

Yes, dear reader, their latest argument for the existence of their intelligent design is … water! It was written by David Klinghoffer, a Discoveroid “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), who eagerly functions as their journalistic slasher and poo flinger. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

One of the terrible and ironic things about recent flood and hurricane disasters is the way that water, the ultimate life-giver on our planet, became a life-taker. You won’t realize the full poignancy of this until you consider the range of evidence for water as being finely tuned for life, and especially for mammals like us.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] Water is finely tuned for life — mammalian life especially! Then he says:

In his new book, The Wonder of Water: Water’s Profound Fitness for Life on Earth and Mankind [Amazon link], Discovery Institute biologist Michael Denton explains that evidence with a clarity and eloquence that no other scientist or science writer does. The remarkable thing about water is the interlocking qualities of its unusual chemistry, and how that makes it ideally suited for the many roles it plays in making life on Earth possible.

According to Amazon, the publisher of Denton’s book is the Discovery Institute, so it’s yet another vanity press contribution to the world of creationism by Michael Denton, a Discovery Institute “senior fellow.” For his previous work from the same prestigious publisher, see Discovery Institute Touts Denton’s New Book.

After that introduction, Klinghoffer tells us:

A short video, above [at Klinghoffer’s post], summarizes these, including water’s aspects as a “universal solvent,” with just the right viscosity for the circulatory system, with its vital ability to effect body cooling by evaporation, and on and on. No creature benefits more from these qualities than humans do. Let that sink in. What about the fact that frozen water floats rather than sinks? Life as we know it would be impossible otherwise. On a planetary level, it drives the tectonic and water cycles, those “two great cogs that work together,” as Denton puts it. All a lucky coincidence, you say?

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] It can’t be a coincidence. It must be the work of the intelligent designer — blessed be he! Klinghoffer continues:

The many diverse capacities of water need not have been as they are. That these are all brought together just so provides among the most powerful pointers to intelligent design.

Yes — oh yes! The evidence of intelligent design is unmistakable! Skipping to the end, we’re told:

Materialists insist the universe is in no way specially intended for human life. That contention can’t survive an encounter with Michael Denton’s work.

So there it is, dear reader — we need water, and thanks to the intelligent designer, we’ve got it. There’s no way evolution can explain this. Admit it — you’re stunned.

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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26 responses to “Water Is Proof of Intelligent Design

  1. The evidence is overwhelming – every puddle is *exactly* the right size and shape for the water in that puddle. How can that possibly be just a coincidence?!

  2. Michael Fugate

    Comedy, pure comedy gold.
    Not to mention, Klinghoffer claims humans are mammals. I thought we were specially created in the image of the designer and unrelated to any other living thing. We are exceptional, no? We can’t be mammals because we can’t be kin to monkeys.

  3. Holding The Line In Florida

    Stunned is exactly the right word. Just when you think that it can’t get any dumber, they prove that we haven’t even scratched the surface. What next? Oxygen is a gift from the Fine Tuner to allow life, especially mammals to live? What nonsense.

  4. Once again there is a contrast in arguments.
    If the world is designed for life, human life in particular, the why does it take special attention for life to appear on Earth?
    If water is designed for life, why is entropy designed to make life difficult?
    If the universe is designed for life, why does it take a special planet?
    If water is so especially designed for human life, why is there no natural process that leads to human life?

  5. Plate tectonics is not driven by water. Klingon and Michael Dimwit are lying.

  6. I’m perplexed by Klunklehoopman’s latest article. When he references recent hurricanes he seems to be endorsing god designed human genocide events. If David’s god did indeed “design” water then he, she or it is responsible for the mess in Puerto Rico. Tell us it isn’t so Klinkledinkle!

  7. BTW
    The Bible doesn’t say that God designed water for life.
    The Bible says that birds and fish came from water, and that land animals came from the land, and humans came from dirt.
    And the opening words of Genesis tell us that water existed at the beginning. Nothing about the creation of water.

  8. The many diverse capacities of water need not have been as they are. That these are all brought together just so provides among the most powerful pointers to intelligent design.

    Ah, if only there were an emoticon of a bull doing you-know-what.

    Once again a creationist betrays the hidden bias that physical phenomena had to be exactly as they are because human beings just had to exist, exactly as they are. That is, the Designer set up the universe specifically so that human life could exist. Aren’t we just special?

  9. No creature benefits more from these qualities than humans do.
    Hmm, tell that to the fish and the whales, et. al.

  10. You know that weak nuclear force? It’s JESUS I tell yah!

  11. Eddie Janssen

    There has to be an anology for finetuning that ‘the fintuning crowd’ understands. Something like:
    The human body is finetuned for clothes or clothes are finetuned for the human body.
    Anyone other examples?

  12. I got rained on earlier this week. My clothes absorbed the perfect amount of water to make me cold and wet but not so much that I dripped water. Clearly there was intelligently designed fine tuning involved.
    Or stupidity for not having an umbrella or rain coat…

  13. May as well claim that gravity is proof of intelligent design. After all, without it we’d all just float off into space!

    And it’s perfectly designed, as well. Too strong we’d be crushed, too weak earth would have no atmosphere. Oh, the wonders of G.O.D.’s creation!

  14. Hans Weichselbaum

    What next? The intelligent design of the oxygen molecule O2?

  15. The speed of light, the rates of radioactive decay, the expansion of the universe, etc. are intelligently designed. Evolution is intelligently designed. Extinction is, too.

  16. Ross Cameron

    And the question creos never answer–why did the intelligent designer create 33,000 diseases to beset mankind? Psychopath?

  17. Klinkleclapper and Denseton nicely illustrate why science threw teleology out of the window 200-250 years ago.

    @EricL: not only creationists “betray the hidden bias …”. Fine Tuning is a popular argument among non-creationist apologists as well, because it sounds sciency. So

    @Rsg, HansW and TomS: the value of Newton’s gravity constant, the structure of the oxygen molecule, the speed of light and many more have been brought up as evidence for the Fine Tuning Argument. The line between apologetics and IDiocy is not sharp, but vague and gradual. The sympathy Craig and Plantinga have for the Discotute and/or other manifestations of IDiocy confirms that.

  18. You fools! Know ye nothing of logic?


    [1] Premise: Water is finely tuned (by a super-clever hyper-potent Intelligent Agent) for life, and especially for mammals.[by the The Denton Hydrosophos Axiom]

    [2] Observation: Saturn’s moon Enceladus has an abundance of water. [as confirmed by Cassini spacecraft].

    [3] Inescapable Conclusion: ergo Enceladus is a Privileged Moon that is absolutely teeming with an abundance of mammals!

  19. Water boy apparently is unaware that H2O is common throughout the universe. I don’t think he’s claiming that the entire universe is finely tuned for human life. And on Earth bacteria benefit from water and are clearly the sky fairy’s favorite creatures by both mass and numbers. He and Klingy aren’t quite as special as they think.

  20. Of water-boy Michael “Gunga” Din-ton, abeastwood says

    I don’t think he’s claiming that the entire universe is finely tuned for human life.

    Actually, I think that is exactly the claim of the Discoveroids.

    Or more precisely, the entire cosmos was created solely and exclusively so that our little speck of a planet could exist, and for the pre-conceived plan for us to be here.

    Why the rest of the universe needs to exist when presumably a Creator could have just poofed our Earth, Sun and Moon into being in an empty cosmos might seem (to a rational human) a valid question. To the Discoveroids, though, the answer is simple: the rest of the cosmos exists, and lifelessly, just so that we lucky humans would eventually recognise just how privileged we are, and give thanks to our creator (via donations to the DI, or Hambo, &c.)

    I admit, creating the entire cosmos and fine-tuning it for the sole sake of Homo sapiens does seem a bit like painstakingly growing a bristlecone pine for several millennia just to harvest it for whittling down into a single toothpick–but hey, that’s creationist narcissistic thinking for you.

  21. Earth wasn’t designed from the beginning with the right water for human life. It took billions of years for water to acquire the right state for human life to form. (My first thought was that it had to have the right amount of complex specified information. But no, we know that c.s.i. is conserved.)

  22. “Earth wasn’t designed from the beginning with the right water for human life.”

    The Universe wasn’t designed from the beginning with any water. It took, what, a couple billion years for the first star to make the first oxygen atom? How long for the first meeting between two hydrogens and an oxygen?

    It’s a more complicated plot than Memento.

  23. “It took billions of years for water to acquire the right state for human life to form.”
    ” It took, what, a couple billion years for the first star to make the first oxygen atom?”
    “It’s a more complicated plot than Memento.”
    All of this is evidence for the infinite intelligence of Intelligent Designer.
    How much must I repeat it? You can’t beat IDiocy.

  24. I believe that water was formed in the first billion years.
    Anything at all is equally evidence for intelligent design. The only difficulty is defining or describing “intelligent design” and any connection between “intelligent design” and the ways that things are.

  25. Techreseller

    Holding the Line in Florida beat me to the punchline. I agree.

  26. Somebody is stunned. I don’t think it’s me. 😉 😯