Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Siver Times, an internet newspaper headquartered in Toronto in the Canadian province of Ontario. It’s titled 10 parts of the body that will disappear in the future… Why did this happen?, and they have a comments feature. Although this thing was published a week ago, there are no comments yet.
As for the author, it’s totally anonymous. It may be a column or some other kind of feature. We have no idea what it is. Excerpts will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
It’s hard to believe, but some parts of the human body in the future will simply disappear because of their uselessness.
Gasp! Then we’re told:
Charles Darwin, father of evolutionary theory, it argues in the first Chapter of his book “the Origin of man and sexual selection”. [Hee hee!] What parts of the body we don’t need and how people will look in the future. It is possible that it will happen in 500 years.
You’ve already noticed that this thing is horribly written. That adds to the entertainment. What follows is a listing of the body parts that are going to fade away, starting with:
Toes: Scientists have found that in the past the centre of gravity was in the area of the Central line stop. Thus, the fingers were needed to maintain balance. But over time, the center of gravity has shifted towards the big fingers and now toes have lost their original function and are unnecessary.
There’s no explanation of how some toeless mutant will become the ancestor of all future humans. In fact, the author seems unaware of how evolutionary changes occur. He feels that toes are unnecessary, so they’ll just … fade away. Here are the next two items:
Male nipples: In the early stages of fetal development all children are asexual and nipples. This phenomenon is observed not only in humans but in other mammals. Only because of low levels of prolactin in the male body not to produce milk, so male nipples are not necessary.
Sinuses: They often create problems, as quickly become clogged and inflamed. Yes, and in fact is unnecessary to our body.
Good riddance! Let’s read on:
Wisdom teeth: Our ancestors ate a lot of hard food, which had to chew. Wisdom teeth this was just necessary. Currently, they no longer need, and there is a high probability that they will disappear completely.
The list continues with body hair (all gone except eyebrows), goose bumps, the coccyx, and a few other items. Near the end the author says:
It is difficult even to imagine how will look people in 300 years, but it’s very interesting and exciting. Some suggest that people of the future are already among us.
He gives an example which makes no sense, so we’ll move on to the end:
One thing we do know: humanity continues to evolve and change (why are only these Internet theory), and we’ll just see what happens.
That’s it, dear reader. Somehow that mess got published. It’s a splendid addition to our collection.
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