The Creation Museum Has Goliath’s Spear!

Everyone knows the story of David and Goliath. You’re going to be astounded by the latest post from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. The title is Life-Size Goliath’s Spear Donated to the Creation Museum. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

There are some things you’ve just got to see in person to comprehend. One of these is the life-size Noah’s Ark at Ark Encounter in Northern Kentucky — pictures just don’t do it justice.

Yeah, okay. What else? Hambo says:

Another, so I’m told, is Goliath’s spear [scripture reference]. Two visionaries, with the help of expert craftsmen and Answers in Genesis’ correspondence representative Troy Lacey, have crafted six spears, made to the same dimensions, of the same sorts of materials, and using the same methods that the giant Goliath’s spear would have most likely been crafted, according to their research.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] After that he tells us:

Sheldon Rhodes and Chris Allen have worked since 2013 to first determine what Goliath’s spear would have looked like, what materials it would have likely been made from, and how it would have originally been crafted. They reached out to Answers in Genesis for help in researching this project, and Troy Lacey, who handles phone, email, and letter correspondence, provided them with historical data.

It boggles the mind to think of the intellectual effort involved. Then what happened? Hambo continues:

In thanks for his efforts and the on-going work of the Creation Museum in sharing the message of biblical authority and the gospel, Sheldon and Chris donated one of their spears to the Creation Museum. They presented the spear to us at a banquet near Grand Rapids, Michigan. Troy Lacey, and another staff member, Avery Foley, attended the banquet and accepted the spear on behalf of the museum.

What a great occasion that must have been! Let’s read on:

This spear is 12.7 feet long and weighs 33.12 pounds. The spear head is made of iron and makes up nearly half of the weight of the spear. The shaft is made of red oak and is two inches in diameter. The counterweight, at the end of the spear, is also made of iron and weighs 6.1 pounds.

We assume that’s exactly how it’s described in the bible. Hey — if you click over to Hambo’s post you can see lots of pictures of people holding the spear. It’s well worth your time to take a look. There’s only one more paragraph to Hambo’s post:

Sheldon Rhodes, a child evangelist and founder of Jest Kidding [whatever that is], will be taking three of the spears on the road. Through church, Christian school, or other presentations, he will show children and adults the truth and historicity of God’s Word and the greatness of the God who defeated Goliath. Visit Goliath’s Spear to inquire about bringing the spear to your church.

That was thrilling news. We wonder what the next authentic acquisition will be for Hambo’s Creation Museum. Maybe Eve’s fig leaf? We’d go to Kentucky to see that!

Copyright © 2017. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “The Creation Museum Has Goliath’s Spear!

  1. Why would Goliath need a counterweight a spear? You would only need a counterweight if it’s too heavy for you or if you were going to throw it, neither would be necessary for someone 6 cubits tall. It wouldn’t need a large head either since you’d only be stabbing regular size people.

    These people need to work on their fan fiction skills.

  2. 12.7 feet? I had no idea it was that long! Clearly I need to… (wait for it)…. THINK BIGGER!

    If Ken Ham had lived 100 years ago, he’d have been a side show barker. That’s pretty how he comes across.

    PS. As a woodworker myself, I need point out that red oak is native to eastern north america….. so much for authenticity.

  3. Holey Moley, Hambo is Ron Wyatt reincarnated. Next he will rediscover Mrs.Noah`s jewellry. Or the Blood of Jesus. Watch this space.

  4. Michael Fugate

    Given how bad AiG is at biology, geology, astronomy, etc., I am sure they are equally awful at archeology. So it no doubt looks nothing like a spear from any time known period. Then again since the story itself is most likely a fabrication, one Goliath’s spear is as likely “authentic” as another.

  5. Well, the spears (pikes) of the Macedonian phalanx were eighteen feet long, we are told. Of course they were held in both hands.

    Yes, these are exact replicas of Goliath’s spear, just as the huge human femur in the creation museum in Mt Blanco, Texas, is an exact replica in fibreglass of one the proprietor was informed of in a letter from an anonymous correspondent! The giant from whose body the original came was obviously one of the nephilim (Genesis 6:4), but alas, the actual bone has mysteriously disappeared, and the proprietor, one Joe Taylor, no longer even has the letter informing him of it. Stolen nefariously by the world-wide conspiracy of atheist scientists, no doubt.

    Come to think of it, the account of David’s battle with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 is by an anonymous correspondent also. Coincidence? I think not!

  6. For variations on the more famous story of Goliath, see the Wikipedia article “Goliath”.

  7. But the spear of which Goliath? There are at least three completely differing accounts of Goliath’s death. David kills Goliath in two different ways and the “brother of Goliath” is a pious translator inspired fiction usually shown in italics, indicating that it was not in the original text.

  8. The text translated in the KJV gives Goliath a height of 3 meters, while the older texts (the Dead Sea Scrolls and others) 2 meters.

  9. Ceteris Paribus

    @ TomS:

    Good catch! Don’t know how the KJV figured out the length in meters, since the SI system didn’t even exist until late in the Englightenment when those clever atheistic French decided to scrap all the ancient customary units that had been around. I think the US is still using the old British Imperial system just because we have so many Fundamentalists to appease.

  10. Did they mention that the description of Goliath’s armor (very detailed) is that of Greek hoplite, several centuries younger than the date of the supposed encounter with David? Another miracle! The writers of the Bible could see into the future to see what fierce warriors wore to make sure that Goliath was clothed properly.

  11. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    NOTE: If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS ??

  12. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    Also, I love that they went to all the trouble to, uhh, “research” and make sure it would be as authentic as possible.

    Sheldon Rhodes and Chris Allen have worked since 2013 to first determine what Goliath’s spear would have looked like, what materials it would have likely been made from, and how it would have originally been crafted.

    So, they “researched” for four years and apparently came up with the answer “wood” and made it out of Red Oak, a tree native to North America. I’m not even going to get started on “iron”.

    ASSF!

  13. There are many YouTube videos and websites on how to make spears. Ditto David’s sling. But I don’t see any that make EXACT replicas.

  14. Do those clowns ever stop to think how ridiculous they look to most of the rest of the world?

  15. Holding The Line In Florida

    Can’t wait for the exact replicas of the True Cross, The Holy Grail, Moses’ Staff, Sampson’s jaw bone of an ass, models of Solomon’s wives and concubines (collect them all!) The Holy Lance, and of course the Holy Prepuce!

  16. Steven Thompson

    Steve Russian, I actuary looked up “Philistine weapons”and came across an article by J.R. Zorn of Cornell University who argues that Goliath’s arms and armor are not typical of Greek hoplites (who, e.g. would not be wearing a scale mail coat), but of chariot warriors of early iron age Levant (the spear was in case he had to dismount and skewer an opponent on foot). Zorn does not argue for the strict historic its of the account, but suggests that, like details of the armor and weapons in the Iliad, it may reflect accurate traditions of warfare from the period in which it is set.

  17. Dave Luckett

    Goliath has a shield bearer, which is typical of the Near East, and still more of Assyria, but not of Greece.