Great News — Ol’ Hambo Is Hiring!

This is one of those rare times when life gives you a second chance. In case you missed out when we posted Jobs Available Working for Ken Ham, you’ll be thrilled at what just popped up at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia.

This exciting post is at ol’ Hambo’s blog: Now Hiring for Dozens of Different Positions. Wowie — Hambo is hiring! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter are hiring! If you would like to help spread the message of biblical authority and the gospel to a dying culture, consider a job in our AiG office or at one of our world-class attractions. You’ll be part of our family at the largest Christian apologetics organization in the world, and you’ll get to work with some of the best people out there! (Well, I think they’re the best!)

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] Then he tells us:

Here’s a list of just a few of the jobs we’re currently hiring for — but we’re hiring in a wide variety of fields, so be sure to check out our jobs page [here ya go] for a full list.

• Digital Marketing Developer
• A/V Technician
• Event Scheduler and Coordinator
• Web Developer
• Master Plumber
• Illustrator
• Print/Mail Assistant

We also have jobs in housekeeping, grounds, public safety, food service, and more.

They all sound great, but the one that got our attention was Master Plumber, so we clicked on it to see what the job was all about. There we learn:

Master Plumber is responsible for the design, installation, and maintenance of facility plumbing systems for all AiG facilities. This includes the Creation Museum, Ark Encounter and Hebron Warehouse locations. … Physical exertion requiring standing, kneeling, repeated bending and lifting, ability to lift up to 40 + lbs. Must be able to work in confined spaces to install systems and use appropriate hand tools to accomplish assigned tasks. … Previous experience performing light maintenance and janitorial services preferred.

There are these additional requirements:

• Completion of on-line application
• Resume
• Salary requirements
• Salvation testimony
• Creation belief statement
• Confirmation of agreement with the AiG Statement of Faith

If you haven’t seen AIG’s Statement of Faith, check it out. You’re not qualified to unclog the plumbing in Hambo’s bathroom without it.

One last excerpt:

Prayerfully consider applying to join our team as we reach the church and the world with the message of biblical authority and the life-changing gospel.

We know you’re interested, but you’d better hurry. Opportunities like this are rare, and this one won’t be available much longer!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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20 responses to “Great News — Ol’ Hambo Is Hiring!

  1. Michael Fugate

    No salaries?

  2. Michael, Under “additional requirements” they list “salary requirements.” Maybe that means you can write your own ticket?

  3. Michael Fugate

    Can I join a union?

  4. Mark Germano

    Master Plumber does not sound like a job where you’d want to prioritize devotion to Christ over, say, plumbing skills.

    Though I kinda hope Ken does.

  5. siluriantrilobite

    Could this indicate a lot of people recently quit?

  6. siluriantrilobite

    Remember, they get $1.825 million every year that should be going into Kentucky’s treasury. In effect, we are sponsoring Ham’s church and numerous types of discrimination against our fellow Kentuckians.

  7. Master Plumber? Holy Sh*t, what an opportunity!

  8. The faith requirement is really a bane to Hambo’s operation. You’ve just reduced the pool of labor that can apply by a LOT. A good plumber doesn’t need a steady job, like working around the Ark. If you’re going to work a guy like this (and it sounds like if the plumbing is working you’ll be a janitor) you could at least give him his day of rest, but noooo come Sunday you need to be out there praising and tithing.
    Sorry, Hambo, but if you’re going to make people jump through fundie hoops, you’re either going to pay through the nose or always be hiring.

  9. I point out that the statement of faith has claims which are not based on the literal and plain reading of the Bible, but are a modern innovation. For example, the concept of “kind” encompassing “mankind” and its relationship to the scientific “species”.

  10. “Hebron Warehouse”? One wonders what they might need to store in a warehouse? Extra dinosaur saddles? Lightning rods for their ziplines?

  11. MichaelF asks: “Can I join a union?”
    You’ll join the most powerful union there is – the union with God.

  12. Ross Cameron

    ‘Physical exertion requiring standing, kneeling, repeated bending and lifting, ability to lift up to 40 + lbs. Must be able to work in confined spaces to install systems and use appropriate hand tools to accomplish assigned tasks. … Previous experience performing light maintenance and janitorial services preferred.’ Odd, I thought Master Plumbers were those guys who told you ‘ We`re waiting on parts. Should have your toilet working in a month’.

  13. Richard Bond

    Presumably the Master Plumber is needed to deal with the Fludd?

  14. “Presumably the Master Plumber is needed to deal with the Fludd?”

    I think it much more likely to deal with the raw sewage that the hamster peddles 24 hours a day.

  15. siluriantrilobite

    How did the Ark do it with only 8 people and a lot more work?

    Sent from my iPad

  16. I think you’re only allowed to join the Triunion: the Father, The Son and the Holy Crap.

  17. How does Hambo verify the salvation testimony? Does he have a direct line to god? Seems like no one else would know for sure.

  18. [Statement of Faith, section 4, last point:] “By definition, no apparent, perceived or claimed evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the scriptural record.”
    That’s a nice move to put that “by definition” everything we say is True because we said it! Still, I am somewhat disappointed that the statement was not signed by God.

  19. In Kentucky, Master Plumber is a state certification. Odd that old Hambo wants to hire a Master Plumber when it would be cheaper to call one out from town when needed. Of course, looking at the rest of the description it appears that he wants a janitor with master plumber qualifications, but I bet he pays a janitor salary. I say no way he’ll fill that job. In addition to being a MP the successful candidate has to be a religious zealot or at least able to lie on an application.

  20. bewilderbeast

    Only 40lbs? When the elephants go two-by-two it can end up a lot more n that.