Flat-Earthers Expose the Cult of Globalism

Your Curmudgeon has never understood why creationists aren’t also flat-Earthers. The bible is absolutely unambiguous on the subject, as we pointed out in The Earth Is Flat!, where we quoted numerous scripture passages that clearly say so. Nevertheless, most creationists ignore their favorite source of science information and accept the blasphemous notion that the world is a sphere.

But there numerous believers in the flat Earth — more than you might imagine. That’s what we learned from this article in the Los Angeles Times: The Earth is round, and other myths, debunked by the flat Earth movement (you read that right). Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Moving with missionary zeal, Nathan Thompson swept into a brewpub here bearing a battered globe under his arm with the words “this is a scam” scrawled on the side. He dropped the defaced orb like a vanquished enemy on a table amid pints of beer. “They say we are cult,” he announced, “but the globe is the biggest cult of all.”

Are you a globe cultist, dear reader? Then pay attention. The Los Angeles Times says:

Thompson, the 31-year-old host of the Official Flat Earth Globe & Discussion group on Facebook, was guest of honor at the night’s flat Earth meet-up. Clad in a green jumpsuit festooned with flat Earth maps, he worked the room hard all the while proclaiming Earth is less a big blue marble than a big blue pancake.

If only we had been there! Let’s read on:

With more people rejecting traditional sources of information and the internet giving rise to a variety of alternative worldviews, the granddaddy of all conspiracy theories is enjoying a renaissance and Colorado is the epicenter. [That’s explained later.] Thousands of YouTube videos claim the world is flat, gravity is uncertain, space is fake and the curvature of the planet is an optical illusion. Followers say this ruse is perpetuated by a powerful cabal determined to make humans feel small and powerless.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] A powerful cabal! The news story continues:

A conspiratorial mind-set and a deep current of religious ideology permeate the movement, which preaches that Earth was created by design, not by accident. As evidence of its shape, some reference Bible verses touting “the four corners of the Earth,” “foundations of the Earth” and Earth being God’s “footstool.”

Just as we’ve always told you — it’s in the bible! Okay, here’s the Colorado connection:

Many of the most popular flat Earth videos come out of Colorado, host of next year’s Flat Earth International Conference along with the Colorado International Flat Earth Film Festival. Mark Sargent, a software analyst from Boulder now living in Seattle, is the primary organizer of the movement and has made more than a thousand videos. He believes Colorado’s open-mindedness accounts for its prominent position among believers.

Back in 2015, when he typed “flat Earth” into YouTube he’d get 50,000 hits. Now it’s more than 18.7 million, beating out Lady Gaga and closing in on Donald Trump at about 21.3 million. Sargent said he suspects millions of believers remain “in the closet” to avoid ridicule.

What a coincidence — the Discoveroids are always telling us that they have a lot of followers too, and most of them are also in the closet. So why don’t those two movements link up?

The newspaper quotes Sargent, the YouTube guru:

“You’re not on a tiny little speck of rock just flying through this endless, incomprehensible universe and you are not small,” said Sargent, who believes Earth is beneath a dome. “It was built just for you. All the world is a stage and you’re in it. You are on a ride. Part stage, part terrarium, part planetarium. Whatever it is, it is very deliberate.”

The news story goes on and on. It’s very entertaining — and educational! We know you’re going to click over there to read it all, so we can stop here.

But we can’t quit without mentioning ol’ Hambo. He’s always telling us that we should start our thinking with scripture, because that’s The Truth — yet he’s one of those globalists. How can we respect the guy when he doesn’t even follow his own rules?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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30 responses to “Flat-Earthers Expose the Cult of Globalism

  1. Derek Freyberg

    “Open-mindedness” – as in, when your brains fall out.

    But I wonder if there aren’t a fair few people who attend such events as the Flat Earth International Conference and the Colorado International Flat Earth Film Festival just for the sheer entertainment value, rather than because they have any belief in the earth being flat. If I were in Boulder, I might even take a peek myself, though I wouldn’t travel there for it or spend any great amount of money. But perhaps I could get it all from the thousands of YouTube videos without even leaving the comfort of my chair.

  2. Derek Freyberg

    Holy cow, SC – those are some weird people, now that I’ve read the LA Times article.
    Bob Knodel, a 57-year-old engineer whose “Globebusters” series has more than 2.6 million views on YouTube, says “The sun is about 3,419.5 miles away by my calculations. It’s not a burning ball of hydrogen gas, it is electrostatic energy,” he said. “We don’t know how it’s powered.”
    Nathan Thompson says “We don’t believe [in a flat earth], we know. We live in a closed system. The Earth is not spinning. What would keep us on it if it was spinning so fast?”, and, when it was suggested that gravity might be keeping us on the earth, “Gravity has never been proven”.
    Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to attend after all.

  3. Ross Cameron

    The scary thing is that people with these delusions live among us. They might even control our lives if in positions of power. Pick `n Choose Xians have splintered their movement with different collections from the bible as their daily food. When do they become certifiable? When they ignore reality to this extent (flat earth, etc.), should we call for mental health professionals?

  4. Only last week I gave a talk on Eratosthenes. It was just to show how smart people were 23 centuries ago, working out the size of the earth with very limited resources. And Eratosthenes got it right, within a few percent!
    I had one person walking out during my talk and two people told me afterwards that it was all wrong, because the earth is flat.
    I wonder what Eratosthenes would think of that if he lived now in the 21st century!

  5. @ Derek Freyberg
    If somebody says “The sun is about 3,419.5 miles away …” that alone should raise some alarm bells. That person has no idea about precision.

  6. Charles Deetz ;)

    hans435, that is two too many people in any crowd to think that

  7. There are those who admit that there is evidence for evolution, yet insist that evolution is false because of the Bible.
    The Bible has scant to nothing against
    evolution or for an alternative, compared with the flat Earth alternative to the globe.

  8. “gravity is uncertain”
    Take that, Ol’Hambo.
    But, dear SC, I’m severely disappointed that you present such an obvioiusly hostile source. Why not learn what FETers actually say?


    It’s backed by math – something you’ll never meet on creacrap sites:


    However there is still some work on physics left:


    Yup – just throw that Razor of the heretic Ockham into the dustbin and solid, hard science backs up FET. What nags me though is that we can’t observe the Southern Cross in The Netherlands.

  9. Ross Cameron notes the

    scary thing is that people with these delusions live among us. They might even control our lives if in positions of power.

    The scarier thing is that these people can vote–and are indeed thereby in a position of power.

  10. mnb0 harbours a doubt:

    What nags me though is that we can’t observe the Southern Cross in The Netherlands.

    The Southern Cross would be perfectly visible from Amsterdam were that view not obscured by all the dense black smoke from the legions of burning Dutch politicians, which have been duly observed by Pete Hoekstra, Trump’s brilliant new US Ambassador to the Netherlands.

  11. And he is totally wrong as we all know we are in a computer simulation existing on a space ship as our home planet was destroyed 6000yrs ago.

  12. [Ross Cameron:] “The scarier thing is that these people can vote–and are indeed thereby in a position of power.”

    Jean Rostand, a French biologist and fine observer of human behaviors, wrote:
    “What’s matter is not that so many people believe in astrology, it is that those people consider serious things with heads that believe in astrology.”
    (“Ce qui est grave, ce n’est pas que tant de gens croient à l’astrologie, c’est qu’ils jugent de choses sérieuses avec des têtes qui croient à l’astrologie.”)

    Astrology maybe benign by comparison with flat-Earthism.

  13. It seems that the most southerly scheduled airplane flight is Qantas QFA 63 from Sydney to Johannesburg which passes over Antarctica. I wonder how Qantas manages to pull off that optical illusion. The Global Conspiracy is very clever.

  14. As long as flat Earthism doesn’t get a toe hold into school curricula it can and should just be ignored.

  15. “I wonder how Qantas manages to pull off that optical illusion”

    This one looks easy: the ice wall circling the Earth is too huge for the human mind, so when you fly close to it you have the illusion that you fly over it. But in the perspective of a flat-Earth, it would be more rational to fly over China, Middle-East and most of Africa for a Sydney-Johannesburg trip .

    And a flight from Sydney to Santiago de Chile should take more than 24hrs. and passes close to Japan, Alaska, Canada and US west coasts, Mexico, etc. In the real (globular) world, I think it’s less than 14 hrs over New Zealand and the Pacific Ocean.

  16. Time Dilation and Space Contraction explain it all, DD.

  17. I am just so tired of flat earth nonsense and it never ends.

    I went to the article and read it and went to the comments and all I found was some nutjob was posting links to that scam artist Eric Dubay.

  18. Perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to attend after all.

    Better to err on the side of caution when hanging around the ignorant; who knows maybe ignorance is communicable? Would certainly explain the past year in American politics.

  19. But if you enter “flat earth” with quotes around those two words, you get only 1.3 million hits.

    Down a ways:

    “In a speech at Georgetown University in Washington DC, Mr Obama said there were multiple solutions to the “very hard problem” of climate change but said he would not waste time debating those who denied it was happening at all. “We don’t have time for a meeting of the Flat Earth Society,” he said. “Sticking your head in …”

    And after a while:

    “In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 210 already displayed.”

  20. Speaking of flat Earthers, anyone seen any recent news on Mike Hughes, the steam powered rocket man?
    Or maybe he found the edge and fell off.

  21. Derek Freyberg

    @Eric John Bertel:
    I’m not worried about communicability – I think I’m immune to this particular illness; but I am a little concerned that the people quoted are so far off the edge of the earth that they or their adherents might pose a physical risk if disturbed.

  22. “…gravity is uncertain…” I once offered 10,000 USD to an acquaintance who claimed they had mastered “Vadic flying”, which sounded like some sort of cross-legged hopping, if they went off the George Washington Bridge with a glide path different from a brick. Same offer for the quote above.

  23. As far as polar routes for commercial airlines, Wikipedia has an article “Polar route”. The are a few routes which can, depending on weather, skirt Antarctica. There are some videos on the net claiming to be of Antarctic ice seen from a commercial flight.

  24. Maybe they are attending in Colorado for the free weed…..

  25. I stumbled across flat earth nitwits on Facebook recently and cannot believe how obtuse these people are. Honestly, they are more intense and fevered than creationists in their beliefs and efforts to bludgeon the globers with the blunt object of their intellect. They deny all science that doesn’t fit their crackpot worldview as CGI, Zionist conspiracies, NASA is hebrew for deceive, all pictures showing curvature are done with a fisheye lens etc. You ask any of them a serious question and you get answered with memes and questions. Never a straight answer other than “your college degree is a certificate of lies”. Loved that one. The regents at De Paul will love to hear that, I’m sure. I simply cannot fathom adults believing that if a plane were to fly over the land on a globe that the speed would increase going the opposite way of rotation. That an apple falls out of a tree because it’s heavy. Gravity is a lie. Christ, I’m getting myself upset again 🙂 And Green Frog, I love free weed and I am not a creationist or a flattie. If any of you have FB accounts, sign up for some of the flat earth groups. The larger ones are rife with loons.Oh, and quite a few of them are followers of our old buddy, Hambo

  26. Flat Earth advocates have one argument over the Global Earth Creationists. The Bible backs them up. For the Bible has nothing to say about evolution. Noting against a barrier against degree of macro-evolution. Nothing about a burst of micro-evolution after the Flood. Nothing about the “kind” of humanity.

    And it just occurred to me another point in favor of Flat Earth. At least they have a substantive, positive position to describe. Unlike Intelligent Design, which was deliberately formulated to say nothing positive. And Creationism generally offers no alternative to evolution.

    Unfortunately, aren’t most Flat-Earthers also Creationists?

    As far as the Conspiracy against the Flat Earth, there are many people who communicate, by telephone and computer, with people that they know, over long distances, and many people have flown over long distances. One might as well believe in the existence of human flight being a conspiracy. How many people have actually been in Idaho? How do they know from their own knowledge that they were in Idaho (rather than just believing the words of others, the signs saying “Welcome to Idaho”?, etc. If you were born and grew up in Idaho, how did you come to believe that?)

  27. I’m not sure my blood pressure could handle reading the flat earth bunch if it affects me the way you say. I’ll give them a try just for yucks.

    Free weed is not just for creatards or flat heads. I suppose it really isn’t even free but maybe I should have said legally available. If they were on weed, it might explain some of their behavior though.

  28. @TomS Saw a picture of a guy on his roof, which was under a runway landing path so incoming planes can see it, who had decorated it with a sign that says Welcome to Cleveland! He lives in Milwaukee.

  29. How many people who are reading this think that it is written in English?
    How many think that they nderstand English?

  30. Yes, not exactly free weed, but there is a dispensary in Nederland that has one dollar joints during “happy hour” each day – of course, I only heard this from someone else…..