5 Days of Hambo’s Creation Science

Our title sounds like it could be the name of a horror movie, one with a group of unsuspecting teens trapped in some rural cabin while they’re haunted by supernatural forces.

But it’s very close to the name of a new post, 5 Days of Science at the Creation Museum by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Do you have a young person who is curious about God’s creation? Looking for a way to give the kids a fun experience and challenge them over the summer holidays? Want them to study science through the lens of Scripture? If so, you’ll want to check out Explore Science Camp, a five-day camp for fourth grade through high school, taking place here at the Creation Museum near Cincinnati this summer.

That’s how those horror movies always begin — innocent unsuspecting youngsters, lured into a realm of darkness. Let’s read on:

This summer will feature our inaugural summer day camps, June 11–15 and July 23–27. These five days will be packed full of hands-on activities and fun science teaching through the lens of a biblical worldview, with a different science theme every day, including genetics, geology, forensics, astronomy, zoology, and more.

It sounds so nice. But then … MMMRRRUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The plot thickens:

Your children will even have an opportunity to spend one night in the museum!

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh! [*End Drool Mode*] A night in the creation museum! Hambo continues:

The camp’s astronomy night features stargazing through world-class telescopes in our observatory on the museum grounds. Kids stay overnight inside the museum and enjoy a delicious breakfast in Noah’s Café the next morning.

Be careful, children! After a night in the museum, things will never be the same again. This is the rest of it:

Space is limited, so you’ll want to register early. Perhaps even plan your family vacation this summer so your children can attend a science camp with a biblical worldview while mom and dad get some time together exploring everything Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati has to offer. And, of course, you’ll want to leave time to tour the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter (45 minutes away) together as a family.

Hambo also gives a link to more information about the 5-Day Summer Camp. For people who aren’t members of the museum, the price is $295 per student. For members, it’s $20 less.

Go ahead, drop your kids off at the creation museum for five days. What could go wrong?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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22 responses to “5 Days of Hambo’s Creation Science

  1. I see a small problem with Hambo’s wonderful offer here. The sort of parents most likely to be tempted by the offer would have to first unchain their offspring from their beds…

  2. “… science teaching through the lens of a biblical worldview …”
    In the Hamster’s world view, blinders are actually identical to lenses.

  3. Parental PlayTime in northern KY? Is Covington still the Phenix City of KY as it was 60+ years ago?

  4. Ross Cameron

    If you`re going to run a con, you have to dress it up in attractive apparel. First rule of marketing.

  5. Would be highly entertaining if it wouldn’t involve children. It shouldn’t be allowed to teach false information to children in a public place (you can’t stop parents). The kids going through this brainwash will be scarred for life.

    I still would love to know how he avoids speculating on “historical” science when he goes into geology and forensics.

  6. @Hans W
    What he says about the past is justified as being what the Bible tells us, first-person witness. The fact that the Bible does not talk about things like a burst of micro evolution, etc. will not be brought up by kids who have not searched the Bible about that.

  7. @TomS
    How can he make a statement about a volcanic eruption if nobody was there to see it?

  8. Michael Fugate

    5 Days of Religion at the Creation Museum.

  9. Hambo:
    “Want them to study science through the lens of Scripture?

    … stargazing through world-class telescopes in our observatory on the museum grounds.”

    Unique telescopes — only ones in the world with Scripture lenses.

    “Kids stay overnight inside the museum and enjoy a delicious breakfast in Noah’s Café the next morning.”

    … featuring dinosaur egg omelets, no doubt.

  10. “while they’re haunted by supernatural forces.”
    Worse, haunted by Ol’Hambo and his gang. And you easily could have taken the original title. Said teens enter the Creacrap Museum; suddenly the lights go out and the doors are locked. Then Ol’Hambo’s dark, low voice resounds, speaking slowly: “We …. are …. no ….. kin ….. to ….. no ….. monkey!” After experiencing unspeakable horrors the poor teens are saved by Bill Nye.

  11. HansW expresses a wish to meet such horrors:

    “I still would love to know how he avoids speculating on “historical” science when he goes into geology and forensics.”
    “How can he make a statement about a volcanic eruption if nobody was there to see it?”
    Somebody was there to see it. He wrote an entire book about what he saw. He is addressed with a three letter word, beginning with a G and ending with a d.
    Forget it, HansW, you simply can’t beat creacrap, whether it’s coming from Ol’Hambo or the IDiots from Seattle. They don’t play according to the rules which you and I try to obey.
    Don’t believe me? Google Answers in Genesis. I’m not going to link to it; that would make this nice blog impure. But I can especially recommend the article about radiometry.

  12. They don’t play by the rules that they expect of others.
    There is no rule about knowledge being only about the here and now.
    The Creationists, like everybody else, speak about things without eyewitness accounts.
    That is the polite way of putting it.

  13. Charles Deetz ;)

    My biggest fantasy … Hambo surrounded by 11 year olds for a week, asking enough ‘why’ questions that he runs out of pat answers and breaks down crying because he doesn’t know how to answer them any more.

  14. “You’re all going into the Lake O’ Fire”.

  15. A night at a museum with wax creatures. Anybody who’s ever read H.P. Lovecraft would politely decline.

  16. One is reminded of MAD Magazine’s mock-up movie poster: “Charles Darwin’s Night at the Creation Museum.”
    http://lolgod.blogspot.no/2011/06/film-that-needs-to-be-made-charles.html

  17. Good for Hambo, thinking of the welfare of children! And what a wholesome time they’ll have getting their heads filled with lies and propaganda!

    By the way, decades ago the American Museum of Natural History in NYC had a special exhibit of fossil human skulls (many real ones, not just casts). I so wanted to stay overnight in the room to hear what they had to say.

  18. “The camp’s astronomy night features stargazing through world-class telescopes in our observatory on the museum grounds.”

    Wow! A world-class telescope is needed to look at a dome over the (flat-)Earth. What about the stars: goblets of fire pinned or not pinned to the dome?

    I also wonder how Ham explain to children that God changed his mind since Babel era to allow mankind to build huge towers – such as the Empire State Building and the Burj Khalifa -, and to fly planes and rockets?

  19. Michael Fugate

    Does God oppose the United Nations?

  20. Is Bitcoin an omen of the End Times?

  21. TomS asks,
    “Is Bitcoin an omen of the End Times?”

    No, just the end of your bank account… which, come to think of it, might be worse.

  22. bewilderbeast

    9yr-olds to 18yr-olds in a churchy setting? Why is my hair prickling and rising all over my body? This sounds Like a NO THANKS to any rational parent.