Hambo and the Rainbow — Again

The world is in the grip of a titanic struggle. We wrote about it before — see Hambo and the Rainbow. What’s the struggle all about? We’re glad you asked.

Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, is battling (at least on his blog) with the LGBTQ movement over use of the rainbow. He’s “taking the rainbow back” from the sinners, because — to him — its real meaning is a sign of God’s covenant with Noah that there won’t be another global flood. To show his defiance of the LGBTQ community, Hambo’s roadside tourist attraction, Ark Encounter — an exact replica of Noah’s Ark — is now permanently bathed in rainbow lights.

To discuss his progress in this crusade, ol’ Hambo just wrote New Rainbow-Themed AiG Resources. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

The rainbow is a symbol of God’s promise in Genesis 9:13 that he would never again send a worldwide (i.e., covering the entire globe) flood. It’s a message of his judgment on sin yet his mercy to save us from judgment.

Yes, and as a glorious demonstration of mercy, everything on Earth was drowned, including unborn babies, playful puppies, and happy hummingbirds. The only survivors were fish, and also the people and animals on Noah’s Ark. Then he says:

Sadly, a form of this symbol has been adopted by the LGBTQ community as a symbol for their rebellion and sinful lifestyle. Well, at Answers in Genesis we’ve been “taking back the rainbow” to remind people of its true meaning.

Hambo is so wonderful! He tells us:

The rainbow really can be a segue into the gospel message. This colorful natural phenomenon reminds us that God judges sin and man’s wickedness — he did so at the time of the Flood, and he will do so again. But his coming judgment won’t be with water — next time it’s with fire.

Egad — fire! Hambo continues:

The good news is that God is a merciful God. Just as he provided a way of salvation for Noah and his family from the Flood, so has he provided a way of salvation for us today.

After telling us what the bible says about salvation, he announces:

In a time when the rainbow is being used to promote a sinful lifestyle, we need to teach our children about the rainbow’s real meaning and point them toward the mercy of our Savior. To help you spark these conversations, we now offer several rainbow-themed resources you may find helpful including the following:

Ooooooooooooh! Hambo is selling rainbow stuff! This is fantastic news! Eagerly, we read about the goodies he has available. They are:

Taking Back the Rainbow T-shirt . [T]hese trendy T-shirts proclaim the true message of the rainbow. These are certain to be a conversation starter.

Oh yeah — you can really get a conversation started by wearing one of these at night and walking into a bar. Here’s the next item:

Taking Back the Rainbow Bumper Sticker. Share the message of Genesis 9:13 and take back the rainbow with this eye-catching bumper sticker.

Right! Buy several and plaster them all over your car. You’ll make lots of new friends on the road. But wait — the best item is the last:

Rainbow Projector. This fun projector puts a full-color rainbow on your walls or ceiling. A great way to enjoy the beauty of a rainbow while teaching your children its true meaning.

Fantastic! Maybe you can use it to project rainbows on the outside of your house too. Your neighbors will love it!

Okay, dear reader. That’s all there is. We suggest you get on line and buy several of those items. Help Hambo take back the rainbow!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Hambo and the Rainbow — Again

  1. Hambone is confused. He admits that the rainbow is a “colorful natural phenomenon” but apparently thinks it was invented by his favorite supernatural (I assume) sky wizard. Now I’m confused. (Just kidding — I payed attention in physics class).

  2. Derek Freyberg

    “Taking Back the Rainbow T-shirt. With two eye-catching designs, in either black or charcoal, these trendy T-shirts proclaim the true message of the rainbow. These are certain to be a conversation starter.”
    Especially in the next Pride Parade.

  3. Our color vision, including the ability to see multi-colored rainbows is a fluke of evolution. Our original design had us view things in duotone. Oh, the irony. Our ability to see “God’s Sign” is an accident of evolution (a miscopying of the plans to make the cones in our retinas, making three instead of two).

  4. The Hambone wrote: “The rainbow is a symbol of God’s promise”. No it’s not. It’s a demonstration of differences in refractive index as a function of wavelength.

    If his ‘god’ is as powerful as he thinks, wouldn’t it be more logical for he/she/it to use a sign that was unique? I mean, there are multiple rainbows occurring at any given moment around the world – they’re common.

  5. It’s stuff like this that reminds me that Ken Ham isn’t just an anti-evolution activist and biblically illiterate clown who is good for a few laughs, but also just a truly awful, awful human being.

  6. Remember the commands against idolatry?

  7. Ham’s former “chief scientist” and “astrophysicist,” Jason Lisle, “solved” the distant starlight problem by making light travel at infinite speed toward every point in space, and at c/2 away from every point in space. (Ask yourself, Why the c in c/2?).

    Lisle went even further by asserting that the speed of light is v=c/(1-cos(theta)), where theta is the angle between the path of light and the line between the observer and that light ray.

    Try deriving Snell’s Law using Lisle’s theory.(the derivation of Snell’s law is a common exercise in first semester AP calculus in high school).

    How does one come up with an index of refracion using Lisle’s theory?

    There are no rainbows in Ham’s and Lisle’s world.

  8. Actually, fish wouldn’t have survived the flood either. After all, with very rare exceptions fresh water fish cannot survive in salt water and vice versa. Since a truly global flood would have resulted in the entire planet being covered by brackish water virtually all fish would have died.

    BTW, that would have left salt deposits on all the land as well so no plants could grow afterwards either.

  9. I always do this, I know, but still it astonishes me to watch Ham and his cohorts add to the scripture. I mean, read it. Genesis 9:11-15. It doesn’t say that the rainbow is “a message of his (God’s) judgment on sin yet his mercy to save us from judgment”. Nothing of the sort. It’s a reminder, not to man, but to God. (Forgetful, it seems, is this God bloke.) It reminds him that he agreed not to drown everything all over again. Nothing about judgement, or mercy, either. He showed no mercy, and Ham thinks he will be merciless when it comes to judgement. All the scripture says is that he won’t cover the earth with water again. No, next time he’ll do it a different way. Yay!

    Of course it’s useless telling Ham that adding to scripture is supposed to be strictly forbidden. His ego has swollen to such monstrous size that he probably thinks, somewhere in the seething mass of contradictions that constitutes his mind, that it’s his place to correct God. He certainly thinks he should be able to profit from selling trinkets using God’s name. Rainbow projectors, yet!

    Ham’s lost to reason. Fact, evidence, science roll off him like water off a duck’s back, but this is what really sticks in my craw. You’d think that his evident sins of pride and avarice would attract Christian witness against him, so blatant are they. You’d think pulpits in little white churches across the land would resonate to sermons taking as their texts the final verse of the Bible, and Matthew 12:13. But no.

    Jesus’s most repeated description of the “scribes and pharisees” was “hypocrites”. I shudder to think what his judgement would be on Ham and his ilk – and of the spineless creatures who betray the man they call God to approve him.

  10. This must mean Hambo isn’t watching reruns of the Ellend Degeneres show anymore

  11. I love it that god takes time from his busy schedule to send me a rainbow message every time I water my yard. Sort of a personal note. Since I’m the only one who sees it in my sprinkler, it’s kind of creepy. Why is god sending all these rainbows to me? Was he actually thinking of covering my yard with a mile of water? Does he have to remind himself not to do it again? Over and over? It’s pretty disturbing if you think about it.

    I don’t blame Noah from getting crazy drunk after getting off the Ark. The entire family must have had post traumatic stress – any rain at all would have been terrorizing. They would have viewed the rainbow as god’s way of laughing at them and saying “just kidding” after a storm.

  12. Think of Noah, after doing all that work in saving thousands of kinds for a year of being cooped up …
    And then seeing many kinds of herbivores going extinct when kinds of predators had their first meal.
    Not to mention being obliged to sacrifice from all the clean kinds.

  13. @Cynic is careful: “he/she/it to use a sign”
    Ol’Hambo’s god definitely is a He, because Ol’Hambo was created in His image (the other way round may also be possible), as SC never fails to remind us: he’s ” the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else”. To which we also can add in my humble opinion that Ol’Hambo is the most masculine man in the world. It’s all the more remarkable that so many practioners of the “gentleman love” (pardon me the Dunglish) dislike him.
    Anyhow there can be no doubt that Ol’Hambo never will find himself in Ray Davies’ situation:


  14. Shame on all you godless and immoral Darwinian materialists! Yet again, you are gratuitously attacking the Righteous Folk and all the Pure Wholesomeness for which they stand!

    St. Hambone is quite right to reclaim the Rainbow! And when he has accomplished that worthy end, I hope he will go on to reclaim that other ancient religious symbol, the swastika.

    A swastika would look particularly fitting emblazoned on the side of his exact replica of the Ark as he crusades against the same “sinners” that similarly outraged other, more recent champions of this venerable old religious symbol.

  15. bewilderbeast

    If God truly was merciful he’d punish us with water again, not with fire. If he punished us with water again it would be easy: Step 1: Get yourself to Kentucky; Step 2: Get onto Hambo’s boat.

  16. bewilderbeast

    @Dave Luckett, there’s a secret 11th commandment they don’t talk about: “Thou Shalt Not criticise any fellow-scamster (even if he be-eth of another faith, he is only trying to fill his pockets, just like thou)”.

  17. The rainbow is a good symbol for religion as a rainbow is an illusion, just like religion!!!

  18. ‘But his coming judgment won’t be with water — next time it’s with fire.’ So the Chicxulub crater tells us nothing? Oh, right, no mention in the bible.

  19. Here’s an idea for Hambo: Along with the rainbow, why not add a whimsical unicorn? A fantasy animal for the fantasy boat. Unicorns are in the Bible too, so it fits. Just as Hambo is always adding to the terse Biblical narrative, he could add a bit of backstory about how the unicorns didn’t make it on the ark because daddy unicorn was looking for his golden horseshoe, but Shem had found it and put it above the Ark door for good luck!