Ronda Storms — She’s Back!

The Florida Ark

The Florida Ark

What you see above this post is a map of that blessed region we’ve been calling The Florida Ark. You don’t know what that is? You must be new around here. This is our Curmudgeonly definition:

The Florida Ark is that concave stretch of coast — an arc, get it? — starting at the Alabama border and then sweeping down the shore of the Gulf of Mexico all the way to Tampa, and a bit beyond. This blessed region is home to a great number of creationists.

It’s difficult to recapture the fun we had in the early days of this humble blog, when Ronda Storms was a state Senator in Florida. She was on a glorious creationist rampage, a bit of which can be found in some of our old posts like Ronda Storms, Ronda Storms, and also Creationist Queen of the Florida Senate.

Ronda was so spectacular that we had to write Buffoon Award Winner — Ronda Storms. We were saddened in 2012 when she decided not to run for re-election — see Florida Creationism: Changing of the Guard. Things just haven’t been the same without her. But that may change!

We just spotted this headline: Ronda Storms is back, with a run for District 59 House seat in the Tampa Bay Times, located in the Florida Ark which Ronda so ably represented. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Ronda Storms, former Hillsborough County commissioner and state senator known for conservative, controversial stands on moral issues, has announced she’s returning to elective politics with a run for eastern Hillsborough’s District 59 state House seat. “My family and I have decided to step forward and make the personal sacrifice necessary” for the race, Storms said in a Facebook posting Friday. In an interview, she said she has sent filing paperwork to Tallahassee.

O the joy! The rapture! Ronda may be back in the Florida legislature! Skipping over the details of the primary race she’ll be involved in, the newspaper says:

Storms, 53, said she’s not worried about competition. “I’m not running against anybody, but for the seat,” she said. “This is not my first rodeo. I know how to knock on doors and hammer in signs. I think I’ll be OK with the people who are coming out to help me.”

That’s pretty much the news. Things have been rather dull without Ronda. We’re looking forward to the campaign, which should be endlessly entertaining. Go, Ronda, go!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Ronda Storms — She’s Back!

  1. Old Creationists never die, they just pray away….

  2. Holding The Line In Florida

    I can barely contain my excitement!!

  3. Michael Fugate

    The comments on the article are a hoot.

  4. @Michael Fugate: All the comments (at least up to 6:00 EST) are negative. Makes sense, though — her “churchy” friends aren’t likely to be the type to comment on line, but anyone opposed to her controversial stands are.

    The article mentions that she’s home-schooling her 9-year-old son. Poor kid.

  5. Since she is willing to “make the personal sacrifice necessary”, perhaps someone can convince her to jump into an active volcano. That would show real dedication on her part.

  6. @Zetoplan
    With a 9-year-old son, she presumably isn’t a virgin, so jumping into an active volcano would not suffice to propitiate the volcano god. She is right not to make that particular personal sacrifice.

  7. jimroberts:
    “With a 9-year-old son, she presumably isn’t a virgin…”

    Unless she’s a lot holier than we thought.