Self-Published Genius #66: Dinosaurs and Dragons

We have another addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses, where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.

We learned about this from one of our clandestine operatives who is so well-placed and valuable that he doesn’t even have a code name. The press release is titled Author Robert Haggard’s Newly Released “Faith, God, And Modern Science: The Clash between Creationism and a Theological Compromise with Atheism” Confronts the Facts, issued by Cision PRWeb, which says it’s “the leader in online news distribution and publicity.” The press release says, with some bold font added by us for emphasis:

Faith, God, And Modern Science: The Clash between Creationism and a Theological Compromise with Atheism” is the creation of published author, Robert Haggard.

Then they describe the author:

Robert was born and raised in Canyon, Texas. A son of a business professor and an elementary school English teacher, he had a beautiful Christian upbringing and education in the Church of Christ. He now says, “If only it had stuck.” He attended what is now West Texas A&M University where he majored in speech and drama. In 1963, his freshman English professor declared that he should be a writer. It only took fifty-five years for him to write his first published book.

That’s nice, but we don’t see any education in either science or theology. They describe his working career, which is all over the place:

Throughout his professional life, he underwent many professional incarnations as a radio announcer, tape editor, commissioned artist, advertising and layout art designer, actor, director, administrator, trainer, and guidance counselor for the world’s largest professional repertory theater company of its day.

Oh wait — he has a special qualification. The press release tells us:

Much of his theological education has come from late-night discussions over coffee or wine with ministers, theologians, and teachers from every denominational and theological background all over the world.

That’s great! Let’s read on:

Published by Christian Faith Publishing, Robert Haggard’s new book is a journey into the world as imaged by creationists and Biblical accounts.

Aha! We have the press release, but we need to make sure that this book qualifies for our collection. Was it published by a vanity press? We found the website for the publisher — Christian Faith Publishing. It leaves no doubt — they’re a vanity publisher. They even let authors pay their fees on a monthly installment plan.

Okay, the book qualifies for our collection! Let’s get back to the press release. They quote the author:

“Did dinosaurs and dragons really become extinct sixty-five million years ago or did they walk the earth as man’s contemporaries until only several hundreds of years ago? Do some still exist today? History — both biblical and secular, plus many a modern witness — says the answer to the latter is yes.” –Robert Haggard

Impressive, huh? The press release continues:

At its heart, evolutionist theory is atheistic. It “explains” why there is no reason to believe in God. This leaves the millions of people, who would shudder at the idea that they are atheistic, confused. Human beings are creatures of faith. All people live their lives based on some set of beliefs, which they use as a foundation to make decisions and answer questions about live. The faithful are, however, trying to embrace a belief in God while accommodating an idea virtually antithetical to God’s existence. Unfortunately, this conundrum infects a sizeable segment of the modern church, which does not want to appear naïve in the face of the “evidence.”

That’s horrible! What’s to be done? Let’s read on:

It is, therefore, time for a hard look at the “evidence.” True science should be an honest, open-minded inquiry into the world as it is. That is what it claims to be. The scripture, of course, gives the answer to where human came from. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Science cannot refute or confirm this claim. In “Faith, God, And Modern Science,” Robert Haggard explores how the universe would look in according to Biblical and historical accounts. By comparing it to the world envisioned by modern scientific thinking, he reveals the truth.

Ooooooooooooh! He reveals The Truth.

We hunted for the book at Amazon — and we found it! Here it is: Faith, God, and Modern Science: The Clash Between Creationism and a Theological Compromise with Atheism. The number of pages isn’t disclosed, but it costs only $12.95. A bargain! There are no customer reviews yet.

One last excerpt from the press release:

View a synopsis of “Faith, God, And Modern Science: The Clash between Creationism and a Theological Compromise with Atheism” on YouTube.

We looked. It’s only one minute long and doesn’t say anything. No problem, we know you’re going to buy the book anyway.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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10 responses to “Self-Published Genius #66: Dinosaurs and Dragons

  1. David Evans

    I had a look inside on Amazon. On Page 1 he says believers are “continuously besieged” by the ideas that man evolved from apes and that the Earth is billions of years old. Then he says the only reason for believing those ideas is “the determination – or the faith, if you will – that God didn’t do it as the Bible says he did”.

    I think we can see where this is going.

  2. The only reason that people came to believe that through e world is older than 10,000 years old is …?
    Take a look at the history of this idea. The early geologists may have been mistaken, but it is clear that there was not a single-minded anti-scriptural motive. How dare one say that of the Scofield Reference Bible or William Cullen Bryant?

  3. Mark Germano

    “This leaves the millions of people, who would shudder at the idea that they are atheistic, confused.”

    Somehow, that sentence makes even less sense in context.

  4. No need to buy the book. All you need to learn the truth is to chat with a few fundies anywhere in rural America.

  5. Michael Fugate

    David, his commentary on light and stars is comic – time and space can be ignored; God created the light supposedly from the stars before creating the stars. But light doesn’t really come from stars, it comes from God – those scientists telling us the sun will run out of fuel are just blowing smoke. Even if the sun disappeared, there will still be light. It’s right there in the Bible – it must be true.

  6. “Much of his theological education has come from late-night discussions over coffee or wine with ministers, theologians, and teachers from every denominational and theological background all over the world.”

    In other words, midnight bull sessions. Impressive. By the same measure, I should claim a Ph.D. in Philosophy.

    But then, the only advantage he would have gained from a formal education in theology would be learning the fancy language needed to impress the rubes.

  7. Not for the first time, Pope retiredsciguy modestly undersells himself:

    In other words, midnight bull sessions. Impressive. By the same measure, I should claim a Ph.D. in Philosophy.

    But–as we have previously established at this blog–you are already our Pontifex Maximus and thereby vastly out-rank any mere Ph.D.

    And as such, moreover, you are entitled to issue Papal Bulls 24/7, not just at midnight.

    Note in passing: I don’t believe it was reported at the time (because such refusals generally are not in order not to embarrass Her Madge), but in the late 1990’s, Stephen Hawking was offered a knighthood, which would have made him ‘Sir Stephen’ and a Peer of the Realm. But he declined the honour–as a protest against the government’s woeful slashing of expenditure on scientific research and education.

  8. “slasing” ???

    O Great Hand of Correction, to whom all hearts and minds are known, that should have been “slashing”…

    [insert humble and grovelling apology here]

    [*Voice from above*] Even one such as you can receive assistance. So I stretched forth my mighty hand, and lo …

  9. @Megalonyx
    AFAIK the title “sir” represents a knighthood, which is not a title of nobility, a baron etc., a peer of the realm.

  10. @ TomS: You’re right, of course: my joke misfired. In fact, of course, Dr. Hawking was peerless and, given his other honours, a knighthood would have done nothing to enhance his reputation. 🙂