Creationist Wisdom #846: Everything Is Perfect

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Beauregard Daily News of DeRidder, Louisiana. The letter is titled God is more than enough. It’s actually a column, but we’ll treat it like a typical letter in our collection. The newspaper has a comments section, but there aren’t any comments yet.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Billy Holland, described only as “columnist,” but after Googling around, we learned that he’s the head of Billy Holland Ministries, the website of which lists his many newspaper columns, including the one we found today. We’ll give you a few excerpts from the rev’s column, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Today, if you feel that your crisis is too much for God to take care of, if you believe your problem is too big for God to handle, and if you are convinced your enemy is just too powerful, God wants you to know that you are not seeing life in a correct perspective. God is for you and this means that nothing or no one is greater than His power. You and God are a majority no matter how bleak your situation.

That’s good to know. Then he says:

Imagine an ordinary marble and let’s say this represents the size of the earth. To better understand the size comparison of earth to our sun (which is actually a small star) we would need a container large enough to put 1 million marbles inside. This would be the equivalent of approximately twenty 55-gallon drums of marbles.

Gasp! After that he tells us:

Alright, let’s use the marble again except this time it will represent the size of our sun. To have a realistic idea of the size of our sun in comparison to one of the billions of larger stars in the universe, we would need to measure 20 feet which would represent the distance across just one of them. Mind boggling but just imagine, He simply spoke everything into existence.

Mind boggling indeed. The rev continues:

To understand the contrast in distance from the earth to the moon verses from the earth to Mars, it has been calculated using a quarter to represent the distance from the earth to the moon and the length of a football field from the earth to Mars. Yes, it’s difficult to understand how big the universe is because our tiny brain cannot grasp it, but it helps our faith to think about these facts and realize that God spoke everything into existence.

This is amazing! Let’s read on:

Let us not forget that He also keeps everything spinning, balanced and tilted perfectly since the beginning of time.

Wowie! Everything is perfectly balanced! Another excerpt:

Jeremiah 33 and Genesis 22 compares the number of stars with the grains of sand on the seashore. Before the invention of the modern telescope it was possible to only see about 4000 stars, counting all that were visible from every point on earth.

Many astronomers were convinced that Bible passages related to nature and creation like those verses in Jeremiah and Genesis were just exaggerations. Now with the technology of the Hubble telescope which is traveling deep into space and sending back new images of the universe, science now agrees with the Bible that there are truly as many stars as there are grains of sand. God created you, knows you and loves you more than anything.

Ooooooooooooh! Science has proved the bible is correct! Here’s more:

Our Creator is definitely more than enough for every person who has ever lived and will ever live. He is big enough to deliver you, wealthy enough to provide for you, powerful enough to heal you, and strong enough to deliver you. His unconditional love is infinite and He longs to give you exceedingly abundantly above and beyond everything you could ever imagine.

Ooooooooooooh! And now we come to the end:

God has a perfect plan for your life. Do not give up and never stop believing for your breakthrough because we serve a big God and His promises never fail!

So there you are, dear reader. That was a truly inspirational column!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #846: Everything Is Perfect

  1. Mars is at variable distance from Earth. The closest possible is about 34 million miles, the farest is about 250 million miles.

  2. TomS says: “Mars is at variable distance from Earth.”

    The rev disagrees.

  3. The number of stars and the number of grains of sand – I suggest that one look at article:
    Science Confirms the Bible

  4. “The rev disagrees.”
    Even the Aristotelian-Ptolemaic Earth-centered model has Mars at a varying distance from Earth. Also the the Tycho model, which is what todays geocentrists favor. Mars is of varying brightness, suggesting varying distance. Mars is at times is behind the Sun, and the radio signals from the Mars probes has varying time of transmission. The Bible doesn’t mention the planet Mars, so I don’t know where the rev gets his idea from.

  5. craigshearer

    Wow, the Hubble Space Telescope is travelling deep into space! You learn something new every day! Or perhaps not.

  6. Michael Fugate

    God created light independent of stars and planetary reflection. Space and time are mere illusions. Anything that contradicts a 6000 yr old universe is automatically wrong. It is so simple.

  7. “It is so simple”
    What a coincidence! That is *exactly* like the reverend!

  8. Eddie Janssen

    I think the reverend means that the farther Hubble looks into the distant universe, the farther back in time it looks (“travels”) into the universe.
    This would bring him ofcourse in disagreement with Jason Lyle (and ol’Hambo) as the 6000 years old Command gets in the way, but I am sure they will be able to smooth things out.

  9. “To understand the contrast in distance from the earth to the moon verses [sic] from the earth to Mars…”

  10. Dave Luckett

    I’m not sure why a collection of vapid assertions, many provably false, has a place here. The rev apparently did some calculation. So much is to his credit, but then he takes the customary leap into the unknown, with the customary misplaced confidence – or apparent confidence – archetypical of his profession, or rather his sub-branch of it. So much confidence that I wonder who he’s trying to reassure here. Is it his readers? Or is it himself?

  11. Michael Fugate

    Glad to know Billy assertions:
    “There is only ONE absolute truth. The Bible is inspired by the breath of God, and is holy, living and infallible. These are the only scriptures that have ever represented the direct authority and general will of God for all of His disciples to follow. All other deities and religious books are an imposter to the ONE God who was from the beginning. ”

    Does he know that capitalizing words doesn’t make them true?

  12. Ross Cameron

    Wonder if we will discover a drug to cure delusion?

  13. “Twenty 55-gallon drums of marbles”? Is that the best illustration for the sun he could think of? Perhaps it makes more sense if you live in the US.

  14. 5 minutes of googling gives – there are approximately 1 million stars in the visible universe for every grain of sand on earth….