Creationist Wisdom #850: The Warning

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Tulsa Beacon, a weekly newspaper in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The title is Delivering a message, and they don’t seem to have a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Dona. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

For six years I have been struggling to deliver a simple message. God is sending a final warning against my city, my state and my nation. If we do not amend our ways, He’s going to tear down our walls even as He directed a pagan king to destroy the walls and Temple of Jerusalem. In fact, God is sifting all the nations and we are no exception. His mercy and grace have withheld judgment for a long time, but now He is saying, “I am coming soon. Tell them. Warn them.”

That’s a powerful message! Then she says:

What are the signs of His coming? Ancient prophets said there would be a shaking of Heaven and Earth “once more” as the beginning of removal of things made (created), so things that cannot be shaken may remain.

Ooooooooooooh! The sign will be a shaking. Dona tells us:

On February 29 – leap year of 2016 – I saw something very strange. A lamp and the back of a chair in my living room seem to have shifted position vertically. Every thing has tilted, I thought. Later that night, I walked outside and glanced across the street at a row of tall lampposts and I saw that they had shifted. The whole Earth seemed to be tilting.

Egad — Dona experienced a shaking of the world! There’s no other explanation for why anyone would see leaning lampposts. Her letter continues:

If this is real, I’ll hear it on the news, I thought. Later, I found a science article online. Scientists had been observing a phenomenon in deep space and a million light years from Earth. Two black holes – collapsed stars – had been orbiting one another until finally they collided, sending a gravitational wave from one end of the universe to the other. When this wave struck Earth, it rocked the planet slightly off its axis, fulfilling the prophecy of Isaiah, “The Earth shall reel to and fro as a drunkard … the Earth is removed.”

We had to verify that, so we searched PhysOrg and found: What happens when black holes collide?, which says:

In February, 2016, physicists with the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory, or LIGO announced the collision of two massive black holes more than a billion light-years away.

Wow — February of 2016 — that’s when Dona’s lamp shifted position, and when she saw the lampposts shifted too! That “message” Dona received was sent to Earth more than a billion years ago, but we’ll ignore that. She declares:

The heavens have shaken as prophesied and scientists have recorded the event.

Ooooooooooooh! Dona asks some very important questions:

What sort of life should we live now as we see these things come to pass? Are we ready, looking for and preparing for the coming of the Lord and His kingdom?

Well? Are you ready, dear reader? Let’s read on:

What is the intent of our hearts? Are we consumed with covetous self-interest, drunkenness and idolatry? Do we really want to see God’s kingdom come? Are we invested in it or in the things that we can see, own and touch? We have no idea how quickly they even now are passing away.

That’s all there is, except for a bible quote at the end, so we’re left in dazed amazement. And we have a question: Why was Dona the only person who seems to have noticed the shaking of the Earth from that collision of a billion years ago? Actually, that’s not important. All that matters is that the message has been received. Are you ready for the End of the World, dear reader?

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #850: The Warning

  1. siluriantrilobite

    I am truly glad that the earth moved for Dona.

    Sent from my iPad

  2. It looks like we don’t need the LIGO sites to detect gravity waves; all we have to do is to ask Dona. If we’d know this in advance a LOT of money and time could have been saved.

  3. Holding The Line In Florida

    I think the prophetess deserves the full name treatment. How else can this modern Cassandra get full credit and attention she deserves? I know I am convinced!

  4. Shifting lamp posts (on a 29th of February!) would have been sufficient to warn the world of the imminent destruction – the scientific confirmation is the icing on top. But she has been struggling for six years to get the message across; she must have had other secret revelations!?

  5. It’s surprising that no one else reported shifting lamps. Perhaps Donna’s bifocals needed adjustment, she ingested some chemical, or attended a function at Oral Roberts University, Tulsa’s evangelical outpost. It’s biology curriculum is described as “Ideal for students that seek to study the wonders of God’s creation, our Biology major integrates biblical faith with the study of the biological sciences, providing an educationally and biblically sound perspective that enables you to interact with, understand and positively respond to scientific challenges.” Sounds creationist to me.

  6. Scientist said: “It’s surprising that no one else reported shifting lamps.”

    Not really. Gravity waves can behave like that — when sent for a purpose.

  7. I feel sorry for Dona and for the Tulsa Beacon for printing that gibberish. Tsk, truly fake nonsense.

  8. End of the world prophecies have really gone downhill since we lost Hardwood Camping.

  9. Dave Luckett

    Another millenarian. They’re to be found as soon as you lift the lid on any of the evangelical churches, claiming to know what Jesus did not. Like all religious crazies, they are impervious to fact.

    The “ancient prophets” who predicted that the earth would shake appear to amount to Haggai. At 2:6 he vents the words Handel set to music in “Messiah” (KJV) “Thus saith the Lord of Hosts: but yet a little while and I will shake the Heavens and the Earth…” The “little while” has been around 2500 years, so far, if you mean the end of the world. But then again, the Lord seems to shake the earth rather often. If Donna’s furniture and some street lamps shifting – a phenomenon that nobody else seems to have observed – is evidence of the Lord’s coming, I wonder what she’d make of, say, the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. Or the Lisbon one of 1755. Or the explosion of the island of Thera in the Aegean that seems to have been one of the causes of the destruction of Minoan civilisation. Oh, sorry. That last pre-dates the Biblical prophet by a thousand years.

    All in all, I’d say that a good rule for being a prophet is to predict stuff that’s going to happen anyway.

  10. I seem to recall (i.e., I’m too lazy at the moment to look it up) that the amount of “shift” measured by LIGO was on the order of a fraction of the diameter of an atom’s nucleus, or somesuch.

    Dona must have exceptionally sensitive perceptive abilities. Perhaps the physicists with the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory should consider hiring her. Certainly much less expensive than building another LIGO.

  11. Dona is in Oklahoma. She seems to have ignored the obvious fracking explanation. It’s not a gravity wave. It’s a Pruitt wave.

  12. “God is sending a final warning against my city, my state and my nation.”
    Good. That means I’m safe. Thanks, Dona.

    “there would be a shaking of Heaven and Earth”
    I’m not sure about Heaven – media don’t report very much about that realm. However shakings from Venezuela can be and have been felt all the way in Suriname for years. In The Netherlands they of course have

    These have been going on for decades though. I suppose Dona’s god takes his time.

    “The heavens have shaken as prophesied ”
    Aha! The heavens consist of Black Holes! Good to see my undesire to go the heavens reinforced. Once again thanks, Dona.

    “What sort of life should we live now as we see these things come to pass?”
    AfaIc the same as yesterday.

    “Are we ready, looking for and preparing for the coming of the Lord and His kingdom?”
    No, not me, thanks again, but no, thanks.

    “What is the intent of our hearts?”
    To live a decent and useful life here on Earth.

    “Are we consumed with covetous self-interest, drunkenness and idolatry?”
    No. Are you, Dona?

    “Do we really want to see God’s kingdom come?”
    No. It can only be worse.

    “Are we invested in it or in the things that we can see, own and touch?”
    The latter. If you aren’t, Dona (and others) I suggest you to give to the homeless – there are plenty of them in the USA.

  13. Oklahoma had a signifcant seismic event last week. Fracking causes fractures and cracks in shale layers, unleashing oil and gas to flow into a horizontal well bore. Studies have shown that tracking cannot be linked to any significant earthquake events BUT waste water disposal in injector wells, usually vertical wells, DOES cause earthquake like activity. Oklahoma has seen a great deal of this in the past couple of decades and the last ten years in particular as water disposal wells inject non hydrocarbon fluids that come back to the surface after fracking. A typical frack job can use a million gallons of fluids. A lot of this flows back to the surface after cracking up the shale so oil production can occur.

  14. The Lord uses broken things.

  15. docbill1351

    Dona also noticed that a bottle of vodka that had been full the night before was now empty! No way to explain it.

  16. Mark Germano

    Well, I woke up this morning and all the lamps in my house were stolen and replaced with exact replicas.

  17. I discovered that everything had been moved by exactly 1.2 degrees on an axis through Stonehedge and the Pyramids. Everything on Earth and the Heavens.
    That could only be due to intelligent design.