Creationists are forever telling us that they ain’t no kin to no monkey — or anything else. See, for example: Ken Ham Says We’re Not Related to Animals.
Today, however, Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else, announces that he’s a close relative to the Neanderthal. He just posted this at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Sailing the Mediterranean? So Easy Even a Caveman Can Do It! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections [that look like this]:
Evolutionists couldn’t have been more wrong about Neanderthals. When this human variety (now considered by evolutionists to be a cousin to modern man) was first discovered, they were considered primitive and brutish, hence the insult of calling someone a “Neanderthal.” Many museums still depict Neanderthals in this fashion. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Further research has shown that Neanderthals buried their dead with rituals, made and wore jewelry, wore cosmetics, played instruments, and even had children with “modern” humans. In other words, they were human, highly intelligent, and creative, just like us.
Yeah — “just like us.” Then he says:
The evidence keeps mounting for the intelligence and ingenuity of these people. Two recent studies highlight this. One study [in Science: Neandertals, Stone Age people may have voyaged the Mediterranean] found that Neanderthals may have been seafarers, setting off across the Mediterranean Sea for new lands. Researchers base their conclusion on tools that supposedly belonged to Neanderthals on islands throughout the Mediterranean.
After that news he tells us:
Another study found that a Neanderthal in Crimea may have left a message etched in a small piece of flint, brought from far away. The researchers believe the marks in the flint show fine hand-eye coordination and attention to detail and may perhaps have symbolic meaning.
Hambo’s source for that is an article at Fox News: Are these Neanderthal etchings a long-lost message? Then he explains why evolutionists have been so wrong:
Because evolutionists have the wrong starting point regarding origins, they will come to the wrong interpretation of the evidence. In a biblical worldview, Neanderthals were descended from Adam and Eve, through Noah, and made in God’s image, just like us. They didn’t live hundreds of thousands of years ago; they lived after Noah’s flood, eking out a living during the harsh conditions of the post-flood ice age.
Wow! Creationists tell us that Noah’s ark sailed around 4,300 years ago, so … well, the implications are obvious. Hambo is closely related to Neanderthals. And now we come to the end:
We still don’t know why this lineage died out, and there’s still much to learn about their culture and practices. However, when we start with God’s Word, their origin and place in history is no mystery.
Hambo may be no kin to monkeys, but he’s proud to be related to Neanderthals. And it explains so much!
Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.