This is a good one from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. It’s at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), his creationist ministry: Will Jurassic Park Be Reality Someday? Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
This week the newest installment of the Jurassic Park series, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, will show in US theaters (be watching for a review of this film on AnswersinGenesis.org). [Yeah, right!] This upcoming theatrical spectacle prompted an article in Scientific American titled Jurassic World: Can We Really Resurrect Dinosaurs?. The short answer the authors gave to that question was no — and we don’t need to, the article claims, because birds are dinosaurs. [Gasp!] Yes, they actually wrote that — birds are dinosaurs. Remember that the next time you put out your dinosaur (bird) feeders in your backyard!
Great beginning! Then he says:
The authors argue that reconstructing ancient DNA is no simple task, if you can even find such DNA. Since they believe dinosaurs died out around 66 million years ago [the Fools!], they don’t think there’s much of a chance we will ever find more than just fragmentary dinosaur DNA. Of course, evolutionists weren’t expecting to find any soft tissue preserved in dinosaur fossils, yet it has been found. [Groan!] This is because dinosaurs didn’t die out 66 million years ago. The fossils we have today are probably from the global flood of Noah’s day just 4,350 years ago.
Ah yes, the Flood. Then he tells us:
But the authors do mention that they believe they now have “the overall genomic structure of dinosaurs,” despite not having any dinosaur DNA. This is because they supposedly worked “out the most likely genomic structure of the bird-turtle ancestor, before tracing any changes that occurred from then to the present day.”
They don’t mention, however, that there is no known naturalistic process that adds brand-new genetic information into DNA. [Hee hee!] Yet they need massive amounts of additional information for new structures and functions for some kind of bird-turtle ancestor to eventually give rise to dinosaurs that then evolved into modern birds.
This is great — it’s not only about the Flood, but Hambo also throws in the magic pixie dust of information. He continues:
Will Jurassic Park become a reality? Probably not. DNA is highly complex, and even if some DNA has survived since the flood of Noah’s time, it’s likely far too degraded (even in just a few thousand years) to reconstruct a complete genome.
Jeepers — no DNA after only 4,350 years. Let’s read on:
But from a biblical perspective, we don’t view dinosaurs as mysterious creatures that inhabited a world now long gone. They were particular kinds of land animals that were created on the same day as Adam and Eve and the other land animals (on day six of creation week) — and we now refer to those in these groups as dinosaurs (the word was first coined in 1841).
But if they were around that recently, where are they? Hambo explains that in his last paragraph (before he promotes one of his books and his various creationist tourist attractions):
Two of every kind of dinosaur were taken on the ark with Noah, and, after the flood, all dinosaurs (as far as we know) eventually died out for the same reasons creatures die out today (lack of resources, shrinking habitat, climate change, humans killing them, and so on).
Humans killed off the dinosaurs. Yes, that explains it. And so, dear reader, what did we learn? Only this: Noah could have saved a lot of space on the Ark if he didn’t bother saving the dinosaurs. Why wasn’t he told that they would soon go extinct?
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