Hambo and His Neanderthal Relatives

This one from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else — is a bit of a follow-up to something he posted a few months ago — see Ken Ham Is Related to Neanderthals. He claimed that Neanderthals “were human, highly intelligent, and creative, just like us.” He also claimed: “They didn’t live hundreds of thousands of years ago; they lived after Noah’s flood, eking out a living during the harsh conditions of the post-flood ice age.”

Now.at the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry, he’s praising his relatives in Neanderthals Used Advanced Hunting Techniques. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

If someone dropped you off in an inhospitable environment, would you be able to survive using only what you could find around you? Well, if you have a basic knowledge of wilderness survival and what is safe to eat (and what’s not), you might be able to. But what you leave behind is going to look “primitive” by modern standards. Does this mean you aren’t intelligent? Of course not! It simply means you had to survive with what you had. And this is true for our relatives, Neanderthals. Yes, they were our relatives, but not in the way evolutionists believe!

No, of course not. Then he says:

A new study [in USA Today: How to hunt like a Neanderthal: Ancient humans got up close with their prey] demonstrates that Neanderthals (once considered to be dull-witted, brutish, and ape-like creatures) used “advanced hunting techniques to stalk and kill their prey,” including group ambush, which allowed them to get close to their prey and ensure a kill for the family or village to eat. Such a hunting technique required careful planning and cooperation between members of the hunting party.

A pack of wolves does essentially the same thing. After that he tells us:

You see, in popular thinking, Neanderthals were nothing more than unintelligent cavemen. But it’s time for the outdated evolutionary perception [Groan] of these people to die. The evidence clearly demonstrates biblical truth: humans have always been humans [Hee hee!], and Neanderthals display the intelligence we’d expect from fellow humans.

No doubt about it, they were just as smart as Hambo. He continues:

Neanderthals wore jewelry and makeup, made instruments, arranged their caves into rooms, buried their dead with rituals, and exhibited many other uniquely human characteristics. They also had children with so-called modern humans. Neanderthals were a human variety, descended from Adam and Eve, through Noah and his sons [Right!], and eventually died out.

As we’ve noted before, creationists tell us that Noah’s ark sailed around 4,300 years ago, so the implications are obvious. Hambo is closely related to Neanderthals. Here’s his last paragraph:

This people group lived during the ice age [not mentioned in the bible], a difficult time that followed the flood. Their world was thrust into cold, snow, and ice for much of the year. They had to survive in this harsh world with what they could find: shelter in caves, tools and instruments from bone, and weapons from stones and wood. This may seem primitive to our modern mindset, but it is really just the hallmark of a people trying to survive under harsh, inhospitable conditions.

Yeah, just a bunch of regular folks. Hambo claims kinship with them, but of course, he ain’t no kin to no monkey!

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13 responses to “Hambo and His Neanderthal Relatives

  1. Apparently there were Neanderthals on the ark!

  2. Hmmm… the bible doesn’t say a THING about an ice age, or the Neanderthals. How does Ken know?


    What a hypocrite.

  3. I wonder which of Noah’s three sons produced those Neanderthals. Ken will know.

  4. No-one is saying Neanderthals weren’t “human”; they’re just saying they were outside the morphological range of sapiens: larger-brained, chinless, heavier built; that sort of thing.

    This is a doddle to demonstrate, using fossil casts of skulls; which is why creationists never take me up on the offer when I invite them to Melbourne Museum to have a look.

    Thirty or forty years ago, in line with then-current Creationist thinking, Ken would have written Neanderthals off as rickets-riddled or arthritic, to account for the clear physical disparities between us and them.

  5. Why does Ham regard the Neanderthals as post-flood? Presumably because we know they survived into the ice age(s). So the question becomes, why does he place his ice age post-flood?

    Someone (it could have been ICR, not AiG) argued that the ice age is indeed mentioned in the Bible, because the book of Job makes references to snow, and everyone knows that the land of Uz is snow-free.

    Does anyone have more details?

  6. @ChrisS laments: “Thirty or forty years ago”
    Another fine example of creacrap progress.

  7. I haven’t read Numbers yet, maybe the 2006 edition says something about the, ehhh, progress of creationist thinking on geological events in their mindbogglingly warped timeline.

    We have written records from about 3500 BC, i.e. 500 after the presumed creation event, yet we never find inscribed tablets or stones besides Neanderthal skeletons. And I’m pretty sure that the circumstances under which human bone gets preserved are also fine for limestone tablets.

  8. Eric Lipps

    Ham’s description of evolutionary thinking is about what might be expected: ill-informed, based on a (deliberate?) misreading of long-outdated scientific ideas and a complete rejection of the abundant evidence that Neanderthals as a people lived and died much earlier than the supposed date of the supposed Flood.

  9. Scots wha hae!

    even by the standards of discombobulated rubbish that is the norm from hambo and aig, this stands out as exceptional gibberish. I presume the only reason he babbles this rubbish is for the pleasure of hearing himself speak out of his ass. I suppose when reality is too difficult to explain away even with the holy bibble then you’re reduced to putting out this sort off nonsense

  10. hans435 says: “I wonder which of Noah’s three sons produced those Neanderthals. Ken will know.”

    No mystery. One of Noah’s sons was named Ham.

  11. Eric, he is being consistent. He would agree, I expect, with the scientific conclusion that the conventional date for the extinction of the Neanderthals was 38,000 years ago, but regards the conventional dateline as enormously expanded compared with reality.

  12. If someone dropped you off in an inhospitable environment, would you be able to survive using only what you could find around you?

    I think Ham is actually praising himself here for how well he has thrived in the cultural wasteland of Kentucky…

    [Flame-avoiding note: I confess, I have some ancestral roots in the Blue Grass State]

  13. Holding The Line In Florida

    How much more ridiculous can he get? At least he could have said that Neanderthals were wicked and were not worthy in God’s sight and met their justly deserved fate. Why even try to fit a mini ice age in too? Just add that to the pre-flood time too? Hell, say that increasing temps melted the ice helping the flood waters!