Our world is crumbling. Look at this headline in the Daily Express, a national tabloid newspaper headquartered in London: Shroud of Turin SHOCKING revelation DISMISSES link to Jesus Christ. They have a comments feature. Here are some excerpts from the news story, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
For centuries, Christians had believed the Shroud of Turin was used to wrap Jesus Christ’s deceased body in after he had died. Many even thought you could still see the imprint of his face. However, new evidence has emerged which would suggest the Shroud of Turin is fraudulent.
Gasp! Everyone knows about the Shroud of Turin. It wasn’t enough for godless scientists to concoct their abominable theory of evolution. Now they’re attacking the Shroud! The tabloid says:
Forensic evidence revealed the blood stains on the cloth came from a vertical position as if someone were standing over it. This would mean the stains are not consistent with someone who had just been crucified.
How do they know? Were they there? The tabloid goes on:
John Moores University, Liverpool, forensic expert Matteo Borrini and his team had been hoping to see if the blood stains were consistent with someone who had been executed on a T-shaped or Y-shaped cross. Instead, the research found the blood splatter came from neither. The team say the blood splatter would look very different if they had been soaked in from someone who had just been crucified, but rather they look as if they had fallen vertically.
Humbug! The news story continues:
The study says: “The two short rivulets on the back of the left hand of the Shroud are only consistent with a standing subject with arms at a ca 45 degree angle. [We assume that’s circa 45 degrees.] This angle is different from that necessary for the forearm stains, which require nearly vertical arms for a standing subject. The BPA [Huh?] of blood visible on the frontal side of the chest (the lance wound) shows that the Shroud represents the bleeding in a realistic manner for a standing position while the stains at the back — of a supposed post-mortem bleeding from the same wound for a supine corpse — are totally unrealistic.
Here’s our last excerpt:
Previous research also suggests the Turin Shroud is a fake. If it were the real burial cloth of Jesus, it would date back to around 2,000 years ago. However, carbon dating shows that the Turin Shroud also only goes back to the Middle Ages.
Okay, dear reader, make of it what you will. And as long as we’re discussing sacred relics, we may as well link to Amazing Discovery: Eve’s Brassiere Is Found!
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