It’s difficult to be certain after almost 900 of these things, but today’s letter-to-the-editor may be the best yet. It appears in the Daily Post Athenian of Athens, Tennessee, and they have a comments feature. The letter (perhaps it’s a column) is titled Pastor’s Pen – Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Dr. Jack Scallions, senior pastor of Fairview Baptist Church of Athens. We’ll give you a some excerpts from the rev’s letter (or column), enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. We’ll also omit his scripture quotes and references. Here we go!
Man is the apex of God’s creation. To suggest that man evolved from some primeval soup not only borders on the ridiculous, but also is scientifically unexplainable when considering the complexity of the human body.
Even Charles Darwin, the founder of evolution, wrote in The Origin of Species, “To suppose that the eye with all its inimitable contrivances for adjusting the focus to different distances, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of spherical and chromatic aberration, could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree.”
Classic quote-mining! Creationists use that sentence to claim that Darwin didn’t believe his own theory. However, either through ignorance or dishonesty, creationists ignore the fact that Darwin then — in the very next sentence! — presents his explanation. That’s discussed in Evolution of the Eye.
Building on that, the rev says:
What holds true for the human eye [Hee hee!] can be repeated for the many systems of the human body. I read where scientists determined there to be 37 trillion cells (based off organ or cell type) in the human body. If a person could count 10 cells each second, it would take 10,000 years to finish counting. The fact that these trillions of cells can cooperate for decades giving rise to the development and functioning of a human body is amazing. Each cell is a universe in itself.
Wowie — each cell is a universe! The letter is long, the drool is deep. Skipping a bit, he tells us:
The Scopes Trial took place just across the river in Dayton. At that time, the only theory of origins that was taught was direct creationism. The evolutionists, led by Charles Darwin [Huh?] and the American Civil Liberties Union, went to court to overturn the law.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The Scopes Trial was in 1925. Darwin died in 1882. We told you this letter was great! The rev continues:
The evolutionist says, “Millions of years ago there appeared primal germs or seminal spores. Some call them amoebas. From these all living creatures supposedly evolved. The singled cell became a tadpole. The tadpole developed into a pollywog, then into a fish that became a reptile. The reptile developed into a quadruped (an animal having four feet). That animal developed into a baboon and the baboon into a man.” Is there credible scientific evidence to support this hypothesis? Absolutely none.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let’s read on:
You could read that Charles Darwin claimed to have found the Piltdown man in a rock quarry near Piltdown Common in Sussex, England in 1912. This was proven to be a hoax in 1953. Yet, this lie was being printed in many science books.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Darwin found Piltdown Man 30 years after he died! Skipping an ark-load of additional foolishness, here’s another excerpt:
Evolution, in a word, is the attempt of unregenerate men to deny God, their Creator. To admit divine creation would demand accountability to Him.
Unregenerate? Wow, that’s very painful. Here’s one last excerpt:
Evolution is the key element of the godless religion of humanism. It’s theory (and it is only a theory) collapses under its own weight. Proponents invariably leave it when honestly evaluating scientific facts and almost without exception, abandon it at the mouth of the grave as the prospect of meeting the Divine Creator, whom they deny, becomes apparent.
Perhaps you too, dear reader, will abandon your godless theory — it’s only a theory! — when you are facing the end. The rev predicts that you will, because almost everyone does.
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