Creationist Wisdom #891: The End Is Coming

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in thePacific Daily News, published in the US territory of Guam. It’s titled Bible shows God’s glory, almighty power. The newspaper has a comments feature.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. We’ll use only his first name, which is Manuel. This is the fifth time we’ve written about one of his letters. He’s from Oklahoma but his letters get published in newspapers all over the place. For his earlier gems, see #806: The Lake of Fire, and that has links to the others. Excerpts from his newest letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary, some bold font for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]. Here we go!

The power of God is easily seen in His creation everywhere we look. [Right!] It is in ourselves and all around us. His spirit is in every one of us who are alive. We are the product of the great designer and creator, God.

Curmudgeon looks around for evidence and sees his dog, Miss Scarlett, frolicking in the yard. Encouraged, we return to Manuel’s letter. He says:

The triad God said, “let us make man in our image” and “our likeness,” and he did. We know because he told us so in the word of God, the Holy Bible.

Verily, only a fool would deny it. Then Manuel tells us:

And he said his word will endure forever, regardless of men turning science into science fiction as they concoct ideas about the Earth and universe creation.

Heed Manuel, and ignore the fiction concocted by wicked men — like evolution! He continues:

Mankind tries all kinds of ways to deny God his glory. But the holy Bible contains thousands of witnessed events where God displayed his almighty power.

Wowie — witnessed events! What other evidence could one want? Let’s read on:

On the first six days of creation, only God, his word, and the holy ghost were present. At that time, God spoke the never-ending heaven into existence, and the Earth also. The huge Earth was void of life, but was full of all the minerals and elements and was fully covered by water. On one of the six days, God almighty created the sun, the moon and billions of stars, and strategically placed them in the universe.

No doubt about it — that’s what the bible says! Another excerpt:

But as easily as he placed them there thousands of years ago, at the end of time, at God’s command, they will pass away.

Egad! What then? Manuel explains

God will then create a new heaven and Earth. Then from heaven, God will lower to the new Earth “that great city, the holy Jerusalem.” The dimensions of that great walled city, 1,500 miles long, 1,500 miles wide and 1,500 miles high. “And the foundations of the wall of the city, garnished with all manner of precious stones,” with a street of gold and the presence of God and Jesus Christ for light.

After being lowered to Earth it’ll be 1,500 miles high? Okay. And now we come to the end:

God said it. God will do it!

Manual knows what he’s talking about, so it must be The Truth.

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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18 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #891: The End Is Coming

  1. So the “triad” god said he was going to make people in his own image and likeness. Somehow, I don’t recall ever seeing a three part person, if you discount some of the cadavers I worked with when I taught human anatomy. And a long time ago I did read the holy babble, but I don’t remember any quotes about turning science into science fiction.

  2. “On the first six days of creation, only God, his word, and the holy ghost were present.”
    Not a triad god yet?
    When looking around for evidence, as suggested by Manuel, I hit on all kinds of triads:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triad_(organized_crime)

    I guess they do the work of Manuel’s god.

    “God spoke the never-ending heaven into existence, and the Earth also.”
    Ha! You evilutionist unbelievers! I told you so! You thought you were so clever when you asked how goddiddid! But Manuel understands creacrap!

  3. 1500 miles high? Well, nothing a bit of extra atmosphere can’t fix I guess. Might get a bit dense for the denizens of the lower floors, though.

  4. Ross Cameron

    If there weren`t so many of these nutters, Manuel and his ilk would be locked up in an asylum.

  5. Dave Luckett

    Michael’s account of the Heavenly City is as given in Revelations. He apparently believes the description given there to be literal. I wonder if he has ever considered what living there would be like, according to that description? Streets of gold sounds very well, clear water flowing down the gutters, uh-huh, dimensions, right. But eternal light everywhere? No evenings, no mornings, no seasons, no sun, no moon, no stars, no sky, no sea, no change.

    It would be like living in a gold box in Tiffany’s window, under a flood light. And nothing to do but sing hosannas to the Boss. Forever.

    I’d go insane in a month. I think most people would.

  6. Remember, in Heaven, you have no possibility of sinning. God has no temptation like the Tree. Does that mean that you have no free will?

  7. TomS – Look, it’s people like you what causes unrest.

  8. Damn, my fake “/python” html tag got disappeared.

  9. @FrankB: “Not a triad god yet?”

    “The word” is a Biblical euphemism for Jesus, “the word made flesh”.

    See the Gospel of John, 1:1-3, 14.

  10. Sybil Fawlty explaining Manuel for the benefit of others: “He’s from Oaklahoma.”

    What a pretty picture Manuel paints. Quite the wordsmith! It’s nice to know the Holy Ghost had a helping hand in Creation. I guess it makes sense that an immaterial entity would create a flat earth.

    I just wish this god of Manuel’s would do something really awesome with this much-vaunted power of his, like, oh, I don’t know…save some women and children from being raped or murdered.

    Or maybe just help me with my electricity bills.

    But as TomS reminds us: free will.

  11. Apologies for misspelling Oklahoma.

    Since you all have free will, you can collectively roll your eyes and say:

    “He’s from Melbourne.”

  12. Ross Cameron

    You mean Melbun, Chris?

  13. @Random explains: “the word made flesh”.
    Ah, thanks. Me being an incurable athiest evilutionist etc. immediately associates this with cheap pornography in this context.

    @TomS doesn’t get christianity either: “Does that mean that you have no free will?”
    Ha, I know this one! It means voluntarily choosing not to sin, ie out of free will. Seriously, I read that somewhere.
    This raises the question why the Grand Old Designer (blessed be MOFO!), who being omniscient and such and hence knowing in advance which souls out of free will will choose not to sin doesn’t send those souls to Heaven directly. That would save them the Vale of Tears called Earthly life. Really, it’s a win/win situation: Manuel and co won’t be bothered anymore by us evilutionists and we evilutionists get rid of their nonsense.
    Alas the Grand Old Designer is not really into such smart deals. SIgh.

  14. SC remarks that we’ve heard from Manuel before… but the Guam “Pacific Daily News”? So a little Googling quickly established that Manuel is a serial letter writer. He writes to whoever he can, whenever he can. In fact, most of his letters are identical, they’re just published in different papers. I gave up after three pages of Google – 181 letters in 13 newspapers. But I commend to you the editor of the Portland Mercury; in fact, I strongly suspect that our very own SC may have been the said editor. I offer Manuel’s entire letter published 4 September 2013.

    LETTER TO AMERICA
    Once again we have received a submission from someone unfamiliar with the content of this paper. (Sigh.)

    DEAR EDITOR—Since my concern for America increases each passing day, I am enclosing my latest article for your consideration. Biblical history shows that God takes action against countries that defy His Word and punishes them severely, or completely destroys them. Therefore, we must turn America around before it’s too late!

    America is headed straight towards destruction. And this destruction will come as a judgment from God. This judgment can only be averted if we seek God and turn ourselves and our country around. But “Why me?” you are probably thinking to yourself. Because God says so! You see God is going to hold us responsible for everything. [It goes on like this, but the bottom line is that things are not looking up for America.—Eds.]

    Manuel Ybarra, Jr.

  15. Yes, @FrankB.
    All of those people who have been chosen to go to heaven – and let it be clear, they are chosen, it is not because of any merit – suddenly all decide to make their free will choice not to sin. It is not because they have any practice in that choice – they are all sinners by life-long habit.
    It is possible, given the state of heaven, to have created a populaton of humans with free will and who would choose not to sin. That is not a logical contradiction.

  16. The triad God said, “let us make man in our image” and “our likeness,” and he did. We know because he told us so in the word of God, the Holy Bible.

    “Us”? “Our”? anyone else here see a problem?

    Mankind tries all kinds of ways to deny God his glory. But the holy Bible contains thousands of witnessed events where God displayed his almighty power.

    9e.g., Creation) The Bible contains accounts of such events, many of which were not witnessed by any human being but (supposedly) by God, making them not just hearsay but double hearsay (“Moses wrote in Genesis that God said it; I read it in the Bible, and now I’m telling you”). Courts tend to frown on such testimony.

  17. @Eric Lipps
    Yes, but it is worse than that. It is not written in the Bible that Moses wrote all of the Five Books of Moses. That is an ancient tradition. Moreover, we do not have any assignment to an author for the text of the creation narrative in the first books of Genesis. The author did not “write in Genesis that God said” “In the beginning ….”.

    As far as “almighty” power, no. The Bible has examples of limited power. Like using natural things, like water and earth, from which plants and animals grow. Growing from water and earth is a natural process, not a super-natural one, let alone a example of power without limit.

  18. As far as God saying us or we, see the article in Wikipedia “Royal we”.