If you, dear reader, are one of those wretched, hell-bound evolutionists, you should pay careful attention to this new offering from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the ayatollah of Appalachia, the world’s holiest man who knows more about religion and science than everyone else. At the website of Answers in Genesis (AIG), Hambo’s creationist ministry, he posted Great Testimonies of the Flood. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
The evidence for the global flood is all around us — the rocks cry out their testimony to the truth of God’s Word. Sadly at most of the sites of these great testimonies to the flood and its aftermath, the signage refuses to acknowledge how this catastrophe and its aftermath shaped geology.
Egad — the signs are lying to us! Hambo says:
Instead they appeal to slow, gradual processes over millions of years to explain various geological features. But when you reject the greatest catastrophe off all time, you won’t come to the right interpretation of the evidence!
This is an outrage! He tells us:
We encourage people to view natural wonders such as the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Arches, and more through the lens of what Scripture teaches about Noah’s flood. These geological features are explained much better through the lens of the flood and its aftermath, rather than through slow and gradual processes over millions of years.
Yes, much better. He continues:
Evolutionists are even beginning to realize that catastrophes have shaped much of our geology, but because they continue to ignore the flood, they have the wrong timeframe and cause.
Evolutionists are fools! Let’s read on:
For example, when you look at the world starting with God’s Word, you can see that the layers that form Grand Canyon were laid down during the flood [You can see it!], but the canyon itself was likely carved when a glacial lake, formed during the post-flood ice age, breached its dam and caused a massive flood.
Wow — a flood after the flood. Strangely, the bible is silent about that event, and it also doesn’t mention the “post-flood ice age.” How does Hambo know these things? Another excerpt:
Yosemite is likewise an ice age feature, formed from glaciers that dramatically carved the landscape. The layers that form the arches at Arches National Park in Utah were laid down during the flood and the arches were subsequently carved by post-flood weathering.
We’re very confused. None of that is in the bible, and no one was there. Hambo is always telling us that that there’s no scientific way to learn about the past, so how does he know what happened? He continues:
If you would like your children to learn more about these fascinating structures (and many others) from a biblical worldview [Who wouldn’t?], I recommend the Awesome Science series by Compel Media. [Link omitted.] We carry all twelve DVDs and video downloads in the series on our online store, and they are great for children age 5 and up.
The rest of Hambo’s post is about other videos and books he’s selling, so we’ll quit here. But we continue to be perplexed about Hambo’s knowledge of the past. Perhaps you can clear things up for us, dear reader.
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