Today we have an amazing addition to our series about Self-Published Geniuses, where we bring you news of authors with a vanity press book in which the author claims to have made paradigm-shattering discoveries, and announces his work by hiring a press release service.
The press release is titled San Jacinto, CA Author Publishes Christian Science Book, issued by PR Leap. It says, with some bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:
The Christians’ God Does Not Exist! Yes, He/She Does!, a new book by Proncell F. Johnson Jr., has been released by Dorrance Publishing Co., Inc.
Wowie — what a title! And right up front they give us the name of the publisher. We already have the press release, but we need to make sure that this book qualifies for our collection. Was it published by a vanity press? We found the website for Dorrance Publishing Company. It says:
The author pays a fee that covers the cost of mechanical editing, page and cover design, printing and binding, as well as limited promotion, order fulfillment and other administrative services. … Once we have received your manuscript, we will provide you with a full-service publishing proposal that outlines the fees. … Often, we can offer our new authors attractive and flexible, interest-free payment plans. It may be possible for you to get started with as little as the first payment of 24 installments.
Okay, that leaves no doubt — the book qualifies for our collection! Let’s get back to the press release. It tells us:
Carl Sagan, popular astronomer, cosmologist, astrophysicist, and astrobiologist wrote: “We are Star Stuff which has taken its destiny into its own hands.” The scientific community basically agrees that everything is made of atoms. Proncell F. Johnson Jr. says that they are all wrong!
Gasp! The scientists are all wrong! The press release says:
Johnson shows that the material universe (along with us mortals) is one big illusion for all things are actually incorporeal/spiritual, the manifestation of the spiritual being we Christians have come to call God.
It’s all an illusion? The mind boggles! After that stunning information, we’re told:
He [Johnson, the author] says that the realization of and utilization of this fact will enable one to duplicate for himself the “so-called” miracles of Christ Jesus in degrees, thus proving the existence of this God, and the non-existence of matter.
Fantastic! The press release continues:
Johnson’s proof [Proof!] is based upon a law of physics [Ooooooooooooh!] that make it all but impossible to refute as the below reviews confirm.
The promised reviews are somehow missing from the press release. We don’t care. Hey — you gotta be curious about the brilliant author. The press release informs us:
Proncell F. Johnson Jr. has a Bachelor of Science Degree in health science from California State University, Northridge, California, and a Master of Science Degree from the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) in the management of acute care medical facilities.
Excellent credentials! We searched for the book at Amazon, and here it is! It’s an incredible 870 pages, and the cost in paperback is only $43.00. There are no reviews yet, and we’re not given any other information — but who cares? How can anyone resist buying this book?
Hey — we just notice something. Amazon gives a longer title for the book: “The Christians’ God Does Not Exist! Yes, He/She Does!: It Is Matter That Does Not Exist!.” They say it was published in February of 2018. The shorter title in the press release is the title of an earlier book by the same author from the same publisher, and it’s also listed at Amazon, but that one was published in 2010 and it has only 224 pages. It appears that the press release got the two titles mixed up.
Well dear reader, that’s all the information we can find. It should be more than enough to get you to buy the book. But when you’re holding the book in your hands, remember: the book doesn’t exist, and neither do you!
Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.