Creationist Wisdom #902: There Are No Aliens

Today’s letter-to-the-editor (it’s a column, really) appears in the Morrow County Sentinel of Mount Gilead, Ohio. It’s titled Biblical view of Knox County alien, and the newspaper has a comments section.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name — but today we’ve got a preacher. It’s Stephen Howard, pastor of the Morrow Bible Church. This is the rev’s fifth appearance in our humble blog. The fourth was #885: Dinosaurs and the Bible, and that links to the others. Here are some excerpts from his latest, with bold font added by us for emphasis, and occasional Curmudgeonly interjections that look [like this]:

On July 31, an alien was reported crossing State Route 13 north of Mount Vernon. [Gasp!] A report made to the Mutual UFO Network, Ohio (MUFON) described the being as “bipedal, 7 to 8 feet tall, dark tan to light brown skin, no body hair, tall slender body, arms and legs small in diameter, hands and feet oversized for body, small neck with oval elongated head, black eyes.”

Here’s a news report of that event. The alleged sighting was by one anonymous motorist. The rev says:

People are having a little fun with this reported sighting, but others take aliens very seriously. Their high-dollar efforts are known as Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI).

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! SETI isn’t based on such “sightings.” The rev goes on:

But could aliens be real? What does the Bible have to say? [Good question!] The Bible tells us that we are sinners. The entire human race has fallen into sin because of the sin of the first man, Adam. [Scripture quotes.] We are all descendants from Adam and have inherited a sin nature. [More scripture.] But God took action to do something about this separation. In His love, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins.

Yes, we’ve heard about that. But what about aliens? The rev continues:

If aliens exist, they too would be affected by sin. How do we know? Because Romans 8:22 tells us about the universal effect of sin: “For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.”

At the time that was written, “the whole creation” consisted of the flat Earth, the Sun, the Moon, and those funny lights in the firmament. Anyway, let’s read on:

Yet, the Bible says there is only one Savior from sin, Jesus Christ. He became a man to save the human race. … Jesus Christ is forever the God-man, not the God-alien. That makes the existence of aliens very unlikely. Jesus Christ came to save the people He created.

Hambo made the same argument — see Ken Ham Says There Are No Intelligent Aliens, and before that see Ken Ham: Aliens Are Going to Hell! All creationists these days seem to get their material from him. Here’s another excerpt:

But creation is exactly what many extra-terrestrial supporters deny. [The fools!] Their view is that evolution is the reason for life here on Earth, and evolution must be the reason for intelligent life somewhere else. Yet evolution is not the explanation of life supported by the Bible.

That proves evolution is false! And now we come to the end:

God created this earth uniquely to support human life. The more we learn about this universe, the more evidence we find for that conclusion. [Hee hee!] You can rely on the truth of God’s Word, the Bible. Save your doubts for the Knox County alien.

So there you are. The rev is on board with Hambo, and the aliens are pure fiction. SETI should be shut down at once!

Copyright © 2018. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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25 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #902: There Are No Aliens

  1. “That makes the existence of aliens very unlikely”. The rev cleverly leaves the backdoor open. Just in case.

  2. Don’t care what their pile of crap buyBull says about anything!! When the buybull is the reason for improving human life the way science and medicine and social reconstruction has done, then get back to me about your pathetic pile of nonsense.

  3. The rev cleverly leaves the backdoor open.

    Must be Catholic.

  4. Sniping aside – and His Noodliness knows it’s justified – look at that descriptor for SETI: “high dollar”. SETI is privately funded and its actual listening-for-aliens activities cost comfortably under ten million dollars a year. Peanuts, and not even his peanuts. He’s just another ignoramus with a general antipathy for science.

    As for his argument, if that word applies, I am in the usual no-man’s-land between flabbergasted and outraged. He thinks that aliens are “very unlikely” because of a somewhat strained interpretation of an ancient text, and therefore that it’s pointless looking for them. That is, the very idea that propositions should be falsifiable has not crossed his mental threshold.

    That’s a pre-enlightenment mind, right there. Dark ages, in fact. He’d fit in right nicely with St Dunstan and the schoolmen, except that they’d run rings around him for logical argument. Talk about your blind guides!

  5. According to the Morrow Bible Church website, they believe the Holy Spirit and Satan are both literal persons; “man is totally depraved”; and all the rest of it. But for the rev, believing in aliens is a bridge too far.

    You can bet if aliens were mentioned in the rev’s bumper book of fantastic stories, he’d be telling us all about them.

  6. @Hans435 hands out some justified praise:

    “The rev cleverly leaves the backdoor open. Just in case.”
    No worries. Even if aliens are found evolution is still wrong. Somehow, one way or another.

    @DaveL downplays big spending: “cost comfortably under ten million dollars a year.”
    Just imagine how many Bibles they could have printed instead …. or better, monographs written by Ol’Hambo.

  7. Rev. Stephen Howard exhorts us to

    rely on the truth of God’s Word, the Bible.

    Sorry, Rev, but having seen how Hurrican Florence wholly disregarded Pat Robertson’s magic spell to cease and desist, my trust in the Bible has been utterly shattered and my regular donations to the 700 Club have been cancelled forthwith.

    But my absolute faith in Dr. Braterman’s unicorn, his sighting of which has been fully documented and attested on this impeccable blog, is undimmed and as ardent as ever.

  8. More evidence for my unicorn! Are there still those who doubt it?

    But a bit more seriously, SC: “At the time that [Romans] was written, “the whole creation” consisted of the flat Earth, the Sun, the Moon, and those funny lights in the firmament.” That indeed is the cosmology of Genesis, but was my sainted namesake really that ignorant, three centuries after Eratosthenes?

  9. I’m afraid you’ll never know, PB – unless your beloved unicorn is gracious enough to answer your prayers and bless you with a revelation.

  10. Paul Braterman asks: “was my sainted namesake really that ignorant, three centuries after Eratosthenes?”

    There is no hint in the New Testament that the Earth is spherical.

  11. Be fair. Apart from the poetic drama of Devil showing Jesus all the kingdoms of the Earth [a rather pointless exercise if Jesus was God, but let that pass] is there any reason the NT writers in general, and the widely read Saul/Paul in particular, thought the Earth was flat?

  12. I give several other quotes from the NT in The Earth Is Flat! It was flat then, and it’s flat now!

  13. Paul Braterman proclaims and asks:

    More evidence for my unicorn! Are there still those who doubt it?

    It will someday be written (as there is generally a lapse of time between supernatural visitations and the codification of dogma):

    37: Verily, take heed, for legion are the tribe of foul unbelievers!
    38: But on the Day of the Great Unicorn Roundup, a gruesome though as yet unspecified fate shall descend upon them!
    39: Like, maybe, all Eternity spent impaled and writhing on a giant horn of golden keratin, and great will be the gnashing of their teeth (or dentures, as the case may be).

    Book of Pegasus (IV:37-39)

  14. As far as the story about the devil taking Jesus to a high mountain to see the whole Earth:
    If the Earth were flat, one cannot see any farther by going up. A sailor climbs
    up a mast to see farther over the curvature of the water. A lighthouse is built tall to be seen over more of the round Earth. As far as the hyperbole of “all” the Earth, there are plenty of examples of that not to be taken literally – for example, in the description of Pentecost, it says that people were there from all the Earth.

  15. OT, firmament, flat Earth, pillars, waters above and below the Earth. No contest.

    NT, I’m willing to cut a bit of slack (not your style, I know). We still use expressions like “the farthest corners of the earth”, the “high mountain” is surely conceptual,”the land” could mean that particular land (Judea), and if the face of the Sun was darkened (I don’t think there were talking about a localised eclipse), the whole Earth would indeed be in darkness, since on the far side from the sun it would be night. And Paul had heard of (and comically misunderstood) Epimenides’s paradox, and was no ignoramus.

    But I don’t expect you to agree.

    Try this one though: by this time, the Mishnaic rabbis (with whom Saul had studied) extended the biblical one-day festivals to 2 days for the diaspora, on the grounds that times in Mesopotamia (the main region of exile at that time) ran ahead of times into Judea. This to me suggests some idea of time zones, which imply a round Earth.

    Can anyone here enlarge on my own very rusty recollections of rabbinics?

  16. It is difficult to claim that anyone ever came to a realization that the Earth is a planet like Mars from reading the Bible.

  17. Geocentrism is not the same as Flat Earth.

  18. Geocentrism is not the same as Flat Earth
    Of course not. I did not think it necessary to point that out.
    BTW, geocentrism means that Earth is fixed and unmoveable at the center of the universe, with neither change of location nor rotation.

  19. All ye heathen who think that the earth is flat. Satan took Jesus on a very high mountain and they did see all the kingdoms, because there were no kingdoms in the Southern hemisphere, nor were there any in America or in Asia.

  20. What was the argumenty against falling of the earth at the other side if earth was a sphere.
    Referring to Newton wasn’t going to impress anyone.

  21. Mount Vernon is my old home town and it’s always a little astonishing to see it turn up in the news. Remember the middle school science teacher there who had been slipping in Creationism and was fighting a big legal battle over his firing? That seems to have slipped into the old news file, but now a little something new has turned up.

  22. deklane, are you talking about John Freshwater? That ended four years ago.

  23. The standard cosmology of geocentrism and spherical Earth, after Aristotle and Ptolemy involved matter lower than the Moon being made up of the four elements: earth, water, air and fire. These elements had their natural place at the center of the Earth, so gravity was the tendency of these to move to their natural place. The celestial bodies were made of a different stuff: the fifth element, quintessence, whch had the natural motion of going eternally in circles.
    One doesn’t realize today that one of the major components of helicentrism involved the Sun, Moon and stars (including planets) being made of the same stuff as the Earth. That is, it involved a whole new physics.

  24. Alas, I didn’t express myself clearly and confused even the all-wise and ever-benevolent Curmudgeon as to what I meant. I was trying to say, in my clumsy fashion, that the Freshwater affair has long since slipped beneath the sunset, but my old home town has not run out of surprises, and now something new — meaning the UFO/alien flap — has emerged into public attention. I didn’t mean something new with regard to Freshwater had turned up. That I’m aware of anyway, since I no longer reside in those parts.

  25. @TomS: “I did not think it necessary ….”
    Then I do think it necessary to point out what your comment has to do with the question whether Paulus of Tarsus was a Flat Earther or not.

    “That is, it involved a whole new physics.”
    Right. Newton’s First Law demonstrates this clearly:

    “In an inertial frame of reference, an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by a force.”

    The Aristotelean/Ptolemean version is

    “An object either remains at rest or decelerates until it’s at rest, unless acted upon by a force.”
    The Galilei Affair was hardly more than a sideshow; this “whole new physics” contributed a lot more to the paradigma shift of the 16th and 17th Century, that marked the end of the Middle Ages and the beginning of the Modern Era.

    @EddieJ: “What was the argument against falling of the earth ….”
    The simple version according to Aristoteles and Ptolemaeus: falling down means moving towards the centre of the Universe, which is also the centre of the Earth and the natural thing for all objects to do.
    Aristotelean/Ptolemean physics is interesting and clever, despite being very wrong. Likewise the work of natural philosophers like Jean Buridan is interesting and clever, despite being irrelevant for our understanding today.